October 30, 2020, 12:43:50 am


"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."

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Messages - lancaster lady

Hello frustrated one ,
I don't get it either . My DS was never allowed to come alone , with or without GC .
I was told we come as a unit .....well most of the time  this is not at all .
My DIL blows hot and cold , this used to bother me greatly , however I now refuse to be upset .
If it wasn't for the GC it wouldn't bother me at all not seeing my DS or DIL at all .
Why waste time onn people who never give you a second thought .
As years go by you begin to look after yourself  , why beg ? If people want to see you they will make time . It's hard to accept but easier on your heart .
I'm in my cooling off period at the moment , always wise to do this . Otherwise I would blow a gasket and be cut off . I think that's what she wants .
So by keeping cool it hopefully will annoy her to death .
Sneaky huh ?
Been at this a long time now , doesn't get any easier .
Thankyou for your kind reply .
However they're still quite young and impressionable , she tends to poison their minds with made up stories . Until they're at the age when they can make up their own minds , we're kinda at her mercy .
I am an old timer on this site going back a few years , the ladies helped me enormously in my time of need .
Fast forward eight years .....
My DS just had his 40th birthday. . I was assured he wanted no party or fuss and visited him the day before his birthday with best wishes .
On his actual birthday , my DIL planned a dinner with all her family .
My invite never arrived .
My DS knew nothing as it was a surprise ,
I have yet to speak to his wife !
After all these years it still hurts , her secret card is the GC   SHE KNOWS I will always be there for them .
I think this is her best yet .
My wish , KARMA ......
Grab Bag / Re: 91st Birthday
May 21, 2018, 02:34:07 pm
Dear Luise

Your old friend here , could not let this occasion be missed albeit late .
Wishing you the best of all birthdays .
Hope you are in good health .
Sending love and hugs .
Hello ladies !

Latest update .
My GS birthday is next week and knowing how everyone works these days
I thought I'd keep both Sundays free either side  thinking the celebration would be on one .
Turns out it's on a Tuesday !
Whole thing is laughable , apparently the other family members can't make weekends . Oh well another birthday missed .
What I didn't mention was we are going on a road trip in our new motorhome the same week , the tides are turning guys , for the better .
Old dog , new tricks .....lol .
Till next time , love you ?
Hi Pen

You're so right . That's why I check in with you guys because I often think it's me that's in the wrong expecting the impossible. .
To share with those experiencing the same behaviour lets me know it's not normal to be given crumbs while others eat cake.
After all these years of being hungry I'm now used to not getting the icing . Moving on again until I'm summoned .
I have lots more friends who serve up large slices of cake .
Till next time ladies XX
Hi green thumb

Thankyou for taking the time to read my post .
This problem goes back years I'm afraid and is quite complex .However at this present time , the problem is time .
All the spare time is allocated to my DILS foo . They spend every holiday , birthday , anniversary weekend together .
Not leaving much time for this side of the family ..
I am that hands on GM , I'm an artist who would spend every waking hour with my GC . I've just made fairy lanterns for my GD . A  woodland mobile for my GS . ETC .
To get the full picture you would have to read all my history on WWU , too long and boring probably .
Nope , my DIL doesn't like anyone but her own family getting close to her kids .
Mine and her loss , not to mention those kids .
Backing off at the moment , will see what lies ahead .
I'll be in touch WW .

Thankyou ladies for your support .
You would think I would know better after all these years .The thing is they think it's perfectly acceptable, they are offering us time to see the GC   . Just so long as it fits in with everything else . Now if that was a busy working schedule I would agree , however the time allotted is what's left after everyone else has had theirs . .
The crumbs .
Backing off again and again and again . They win again .
Doesn't give them the problem of having to think of excuses not to see us .Whatever .
If people want to see you , they make the time . Ok , point taken .
Love to you ladies , always there when I need you XX
I hate to harp on about this but we are now being offered time to see our GC .
After their family get together for lunch we could possibly see them before bedtime . Or after school for an hour .
As next weekend we are away with the family .
I for some silly reason thought I was family , oh yes I forgot the wrong family
Finding it hard not to say what I feel .
Feeling like the poor souls with a begging bowl just to see my GC .
Need to cloak up my heart again , we get let in , then have the door slammed once again .
Why ? I'll never know that answer .
Hi Pooh Bear
So lovely to hear from you again and I HEAR you loud and clear .
I will never be allowed to have full access to my gc , I know that but it still hurts .My DIL has major issues which I don't want to add to , so I smile and move on .
When I think I'm good enough I'll post a painting on here for you  ..😊
Hope you're healthy and happy Pooh .
Sending bear hugs xx
Grab Bag / Re: Today Was My 89th Birthday
April 11, 2016, 02:30:40 pm
Dearest Luise
Happy Belated Birthday !
Had I known, those scones would've found their way to you .
Your site saved me all those years ago from the depths of despair , for that I will always be grateful .
Many happy returns to you . Sending hugs 🎂🎉 x
I am at the moment Luise .
However we are planning to retire this year and planning to sell up .
More time to travel and fulfil some dreams .
Thankyou Pen lovely to hear from you ,  I have accepted how things are and will be . Just every now and again things stick in my gut and make me both angry and sad .
I feel once I retire I will make plans to travel , if they occur around holiday times sobeit !
Love to all , sending hugs .
Many thanks for your kind words .
It's that horrible word expectations !
No expectations , no disappointment .
I think I will ban holidays as that's the only time I have expectations .  I decided to escape to my art world and spent three hours painting. It worked . The day has passed and I survived .
So lovely to hear from you again Luise , I've missed you and your words of wisdom . I won't leave it so long next time .
Sending hugs .
Hello everyone ,
Long time no see .
I'm here once again to talk to old friends to gain some self respect once
again .
Those of you who know my story will say oh no , thought you had a happy
Ending , but that leopard didn't change it's spots !
Still no holidays shared with GC , still no Easter egg hunt , no Christmas
morning , no Happy Birthday cakes .
Always , always , bottom of the list for family holidays .
Part of me says no more , but that would be me cutting myself off
from my GC .It's hurtful still , hard to be that happy GM no matter
what .
Just having a bit of a moan to understanding ladies , whilst my
GC enjoy their Easter with other GP again !
Hoping your Easter is happier ......🐦