January 23, 2021, 03:44:15 pm


"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."

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Messages - Lynn

I have two daughters that are 10 years apart. My oldest started having behavioral problems when my youngest was born. We figured it was normal and did the best we could to deal with it. Now my oldest is now 31, a single mom of 2, and lives about 45 minutes away with my youngest daughter in a house that my husband and I own. The only thing that we ask is that she pay the mortgage (which is half of what the going rent is in that area)and keep the house up which she struggles to do. I receive very little communication from her unless she needs money or a favor of some sort. I tried expressing that I would like to spend more time with her and my grandchildren as I felt our relationship had become a bit distant over the years. She tells me that she doesn't want to sound mean and then implies that I was a terrible mother and brings up things from her childhood that never took place. Then she blames me for not taking her on vacations when she was young like her friends parents did and so on. I explained that unlike some we actually lived within our means which on a couple of occasions when employment was lost saved us from losing our home. All she seems to focus on is what we didn't provide her. She acts as if we were absent parents while she was growing up which isn't true at all. My youngest doesn't share in her views and is actually wanting to move closer to my husband and I. I struggle with not giving up on trying to have a better relationship with her. My relationship with my mother is nonexistent and I didn't want the same for us but I almost feel like I am forcing the issue.