I did do the very best I could and true perhaps it was not good enough but it was the best I knew at the time. My kids were exposed to a bad divorce and neglect from their bio father but none from me or their stepdad. In fact I bent over backwards for my kids to overcompensate for their own fathers lack of interest.
But enough, I am done (I hope), sick and tired of feeling guilty for circumstances I had little control over. I truly don't mind watching them once in awhile but would love it if DD would just bring them and VISIT me rather than just drop them off and run off to her activity.
Truth be told I am angry because I have been very ill for almost a week and she knows this, knows I was in urgent care and I have not received a call to inquire as to how I am doing. She knows because she is on a group chat with my family where they have inquired as to how I feel, but it has not been enough to elicit a call from her just to check in. Nor has DS. So I am pretty fed up at this point. I am reading a book called "Done with Crying" about parent/adult child relationships and it is helping somewhat.
Sorry for the rant and thanks for your feedback.