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Messages - BellaMama61

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You have it in a nutshell.   DD could've avoided all of this by simply telling him that.  She has found puppies, thought they were hypoallergenic,  did get him all excited about this and I had to tell her  (emphasizing that the dog choice was NOT MINE BUT THEIRS.  I had to tell her they were not and it would limit my visiting if at all.  Floods of tears I think because she'd thought it would magically work out.  We had asked her to let us know their decision and that was thr phone call that exploded with him telling us basically butt out.  He has a perfect right to this but yes, she didn't tell him as stated she is unable to speak up on any topic to him. That's for them to work out.   And yes we found his reaction childish but also feel he was caught off guard. Thanks for not jumping down my throat. And yes, a poodle was not originally desired.  My daughter found out about them.  To my SILs credit he's the one who was unaware of the severity of my allergies.   Once he was, he is the one who suggested a hypoallergenic dog.

I do agree with this.  But I was only informing him, of my medical issues  not directing him in what he should do.  We have never and would never attempt to stick our noses in that way.  To let someone know that their decision to get a dog will preclude us ever coming over is just honesty.  Imagine if we didnt!  In no way did we ever expect that just letting him know that we'd be in trouble if we visited would cause his temper tantrum and rudeness to us. I believe that you may have misunderstood here although I do thank you for the input.

Hi all, I am brand new here.  One daughter grown whom we've always been super close to as our only child. She married a nice guy two years ago whom we have always treated as our own. All was well til he wanted a dog.  That's fine but I  (MIL) am er room type allergic.   When we told him this, and expressed our concerns over never being able to visit them at all he was very rude.   He basically threw a giant temper tantrum ( he's a spoiled and wealthy kid ) and for some reason our daughter just goes along very passively with every decision from the house to the decor, the car and now the dog.  Evidently he hadn't realized my allergies were that bad (they truly are. I can handle a hypoallergenic dog and said so).  But he wants what he wants when he wants it.  We were told on the phone  "we love you but a dog IS HAPPENING in the rudest;, most lay down the law way one could imagine. We were horrified, not least by the fact that our daughter was mute.
I received a bouquet of flowers the next day (threw them o.u.t. as I was disgusted at his behavior.
He has hidden from us for the past three weeks although has. Chimed in on phone calls says "we love you". Etc.
Now we hear today that they are getting a poodle. Not the dog he wanted but hypoallergenic.   I am being told that I matter to them by my daughter.
She's frantically trying to smooth the feathers here.  What do you think?  I'm crying buckets over this awful rift mostly because our beloved daughter just sat there and let him talk to us like that. She's never been someone who could ever even speak up as she hates confrontation.   His personality overwhelms hers and rather than fight she goes along with everything he wants to do.
Could use some advice!!!! Thank you all!!!

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