January 21, 2021, 06:55:41 pm


"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."

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Messages - Wonderland2

Grandchildren / Rejection by adult sons
February 14, 2014, 10:10:10 pm
I am the mother of three sons (51, 47, & 44). Each is married and each has two children. Since the wife of the eldest son arrived into our family there has been a gradual erosion of our sons's loving attitude towards us until now. Each has rejected us completely, and the middle one is overtly aggressive. In fact I am afraid of him.
We have been good to each of them providing home loans, business advice and wise counsel over the years. Our grandchildren have delighted us but at at various times we, for no apparent reason, been prevented from seeing them. Often that will suddenly change and we are allowed to see them again - go figure!
However, the situation now is that the two older grandkids, who are adults and university graduates will not see us.
When we ask our youngest son about his two sons at high school he will not answer us, and he won't answer anything else either just saying that he wants to be left on his own.
There are two younger sons of our middle son and up until two months ago we could see them when we wished. Last week their father had a meltdown when we popped in to their home after being interstate for two months: the boys (9 & 4) were thrilled to see us. Their father appeared and told us to leave immediately and if we didn't he would call the police. He said that he was getting a restraining order against us so that we would never see the children again. His behaviour was atrocious and loud. We have been so upset . . . My husband and I adore these two beautiful children,
I am sooo very sad and feel desolate and broken hearted.
We have done nothing wrong that we can figure out, it is a repetitive pattern in this family first started by our first DIL. I'm sure she has problems, that she hasn't spoken to her brother nor her parents for years typifies her behaviours. They are all good people.

Thank you for reading this, I have no sisters or brothers only distant cousins and my parents died many years ago. My in-laws are lovely kind people but I can't burden them.