September 27, 2020, 06:34:00 pm


"Welcome to -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."

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Messages - JaneF

Thanks Pen! It's been a busy afternoon. I had to take my grandson to the doctor for after surgery check up. Thinks are healing great, released to do regular gym activities, and band class! He couldn't lift his tuba until doctor release. I have a meeting at work 8 am, then a meeting for my girl and IEP stuff at 10 am. Mercy! Have a great evening all.
Hello. I went back and read your post titled saddened. I totally understand this situation! I have experienced the very same thing with my dsughter! I agree with your choice not to accept him after what has occured. My husband and I tried to accept my daughter's husband, now ex husband,  but like in your situation he never vhamged! Horrible things then happened to my grandchildren because my daughter made the choice to stay with this man as long as she did. I agree with you not bailing her out financially also. I made many mistakes bailing my daughter out in the past...I regret it, but I can honestly say that if it had not been for my grandchildren, I wouldn't have helped her like I did. I had to look at myself and admit I had enabled her at times. I was glad to read that your DD chose to get another job to take care of her own responsibilities. That is a learning experience for her. From reading your posts, the ex boyfriend has serious issues at best, and in my honest opinion he may never change....he sounds a lot like men i have known in the past! 
Well thank you for the kind words! But in all honesty, it has been quite a challenge at times for us all. I adore my grandchildren, and I love my daughter....BUT, there days when I am feeling very exhausted (I work third shift, my husband works first shift), sometimes I am very cranky because of lack of sleep, and I have to admit I'm frustrated at  times because I really feel like by this time in my life (age 55), I should have my freedom instead of doing this. I wouldn't be honest if I denied those feelings. I am glad I made the choices I did because the children and my daughter benefitted from it. The oldest is at a show choir competition today, hope she has a wonderful day! I am home with the boys. One has a bit of a cough, some congestion, so I had to give some medicine. Both boys have been very good today. I'm baking a pineapple upside down cake because my grandaughter wanted to do that for her boyfriends valentine gift...she had to be gone today so I did it for her. I prepared valentine gift bags for all 3 kids, my husband, and my mother. I will go spend time with her tomorrow! We have plans to have lunch, and enjoy a trip to the library! We are avid readers. My father passed away less than a year ago, so I went to see my mom after years of a poor relationship. We have spent many, many hours just talking and sharing thoughts. I'm so very glad to say our relationship is better than its ever been in my life, and I'm grateful for that. She and I have both learned a lot, and changed a lot. Well, time to check the cake! Have a most fabulous evening !
Hello. I'm not sure if anyone will remember me. I have thought of you all often. I needed to take time off to focus on the grandkids, and daughter issues.  I have so very much I want to tell you! First I'll say the kids are doing well.  They have grown so much! The oldest, the girl we have always raised will be 17 in June, and she's a beauty. Such musical talent, we are both proud and amazed. She is in her 4th year of band, plays flute. Taking piano lessons, plays some ukelele and acoustic guitar. Sings like a dream and has even recorded 2 original songs at a studio.  Not ready to market yet, but she is still writing songs. She won the high school talent show last year, performs in public now! More on her later. The oldest boy will be 13 in June. The ex step father still in prison and has yet to be charged with molesting this child. He is in first year of band, plays tuba! Went through counseling and diagnosed bipolar. He's a sweet boy. He just had emergency surgery last week. Appendix. He's recovering nicely. He goes to the middle school now 7th grade. He has really grown in height and weight. He is doing great. The youngest is now 7, and cute as he can be! But oh my what a handful he is!!! Giving his teacher a run for her money. He has sensory processing disorder, and we are trying to get testing for autism spectrum. He is being referred by teacher for gifted class! His vocabulary is amazing!  He is a great reader,  way above his level teacher said. My daughter has been out of prison almost 2 and a half years. Doing well. Still drug free, going to school now! She divorced the one that is still in prison. We still own our very large home, but purchased newer one this year. Hope to catch up with you all soon!
Good afternoon on another busy day!  Thank you for all the kind responses.  We had an orthodontia appointment today, had to purchase a pair of shoes and black socks for Marching Band competition coming up the 28th, homework to do...and I am resting while the children are out on the trampoline!  Big sister is watching them for a few moments (she is 14 years old now).  I did leave a voice message on the therapists phone this morning.  This man was seeing the kids while in the foster home.  I had asked him if he felt the counseling should continue (I asked this during a phone conference with DFS present!), and his response was NO, they need to just be with their family!  lol  But I WILL be watching for issues, and already spoke to a child counseling place I had taken the oldest boy to before.  They agreed to see him if I feel it is needed, so we have that covered!  We are all excited to be going on our 3 day camping adventure.  Quite frankly it will be a time of much needed rest and relaxation without appointments or homework etc.  The little one is continuing to have dry nights!  YAY!  He enjoys the money every day for the piggy bank.  I have smiley faces on the calendar for those days as well.  Even though DFS and foster mom said the older boy was also having bedwetting issues, he has not had one single incident while here STILL!  We had the lovely BLT'S for supper last night, and it was a hit.  Not sure what is for supper tonite as my dear husband stopped at the grocery store after work...we will see what he has chosen!  We have freezer stuff, but we forgot to thaw something...too excited about our trip I think!  The orthodontist appointment went well, she is doing a great job taking care of brushing and her retainer is cleaned correctly too!  Awesome!  Kid Zone and Youth group at Church for the 2 older ones was good they reported last night.  Have a most joyous weekend, and blessings to you all.  J
I meant sharing how "OUR" day went in my last post!  Good grief.
Ahhhhhh!!!  lol  I have had the boys for 11 days now, and they are doing quite well.  Even though DFS and foster mom said there were problems with oldest one having angry and aggressive issues and bed wetting...I have seen NONE of those things as of yet!  He does get upset easily when having to be corrected, so I explained to him my job is to correct him when it's needed, but it does not mean we do not love him or want him here...he is much better now.  He likes his teacher and has made friends.  He has joined Book Club, and he enjoys going to Kid Zone on Wednesday afternoons at the Church for arts and crafts and games.  The little one has been dry (bedwetting) for FIVE days in a row!!!  He is thrilled because he gets a nickle from Papa to put in his crayola piggy bank each day he's dry.  For all he has endured, to be quite honest I think he is doing fantastic!  His behavior is much improved, and we still hold back on sugar and red dye which seems to help.  The boys are eating like crazy!  They are enjoying the enclosed trampoline Papa got for them too.  He was supposed to be able to start to school today, BUT DFS neglected to send necessary paper work in time, so he will miss the first few days...nice huh?  I STILL do not have correct paper work to prove I am allowed to get medical treatment for them should the need arise!  They said they would mail it and that was only yesterday late in the afternoon.  Those people really rub me the wrong way.  We were really having difficulty finding childcare for the little one from 7:30 am until a few minutes after 8 am due to the shifts my husband and I work.  Soooo, my husband took the little one in and visited with one of his bosses about our dilemma, and now he is allowed to go in to work later so we no longer need the childcare!  AWESOME.  We are taking a 3 day camping and fishing trip at the end of this week because the kids have no school on Monday.  We are all looking forward to that!  They all have a pole and are excited to get to try them out.  The little one has plans to pack everything he owns I think.  lol  He thinks he may need every toy and ball he has!  We will take kid appropriate movies for quiet time in the evening or for bad weather (which we are not supposed to have).  We are settling into a routine, and enjoy having our evening meal together and sharing how are day was with each other.  Tonite Papa said we should have BLT'S...yummy!  The kids will like that I'm sure.  Well, time for a few errands before the little one asks for a snack!  Take care all.  J
Good afternoon ladies!  I am so very very tired, but I am also very relieved.  Family Services had foster mother turn my grandsons over to me last Saturday.  After a long road trip (about 7 and a half hours), we were totally exhausted of course.  Family Services (called DFS here), still has control and jurisdiction however.  They told us we have to go through foster parenting classes and lisensing or they will snatch the kids back.  These people frankly make me ill.  I have been trying to enroll the youngest in an early childhood program through the school, an Head Start due to his having an IEP at such a young age.  DFS did not give me a single piece of paper proving I have been given these kids, so he cannot be enrolled yet.  I was angry at the phone conference on August 30th.  I found out the oldest grandson age 10 had run away a week before , but nobody told us.  The foster mom said she was embarrassed!  She said she called every caseworkers phone number she had and not a one returned her call!!!  FINALLY a few hours later a different worker called her.  Foster mom had to call sheriff to locate this child.  He had gotten over 5 miles away by then in the terrible heat, not to mention they live way, way out in the "boondocks"!  The therapist at the phone conference was great though.  He was counseling the 10 year old (he was the one who turned his mom and step father in for the meth lab).  He said the child has PTSD.  I asked if I should do as DFS insists and get him into counseling when he arrives here...and he said and I QUOTE "No, he needs to be with his FAMILY!"  lol  I LOVED it! lol  DFS refuses to begin the process of allowing my husband and I to obtain guardianship however.  This makes no sense to me at all.  They said not until their mother is released from prison.  Odd.  The childrens father is still shooting meth and living 15 minutes away from us.  He has a caseworker through DFS and this same one plans to come work with us here at our home but I am concerned about that being a conflict.  We are NOT anything like him, or his family.  Obviously.  I spoke to the childrens guardian ad litem today, and he said since my daughter and the bio father wish to consent to our having legal guardianship all we have to do is have them sign the papers and go to court for judge approval...however DFS is telling me NOOOOO.  lol  Of course they are!  I spoke to my attorney today as well.  If we do not take guardianship we get the state funding...or we can get DFS out of our hair and then be able to raise them without interference, and forego the funds.  My daughter is due for release (if all goes like she says is planned) on October 16th!  Her husband that was charged as well is currently in long term rehab awaiting his trial date still!  He is stalling as long as possible because he will probably do serious time, but who knows?  We are very busy right now, but the 10 year old is in school and happy.  He likes our Church and attends a "kid zone" group on Wednesdays after school.  Then we go to dinner at Church 5:30, big sister does youth group and Praise Team practice after that!  Good news she also made Show Choir YAY!!!  She has her very first marching band competition on the 28th of this month too...awesome!  She is at a school dance this afternoon and we will pick her up later.  The little one and I spend the days together after I get off work at 8 am!  YAWN!!!  I catch a bit of sleep after husband gets home afternoons!  When he goes to school (hopefully quickly!!!), I will sleep while he is gone.  We are taking the 3 kids on a 3 day camping trip this month.  Can't wait for that to happen!  We bought a very large enclosed trampoline for them to enjoy (papa and I even get in and jump!) lol.  The boys adore their campsite bedrooms as I knew they would.  They have ravenous appetites!  Gotta run for now!  Thanks for allowing me to blab once again.  J
FAFE, thank you so made me laugh in spite of myself about the Nazi thing!  lol  I have every intention of contacting congressman, attorney general and who ever else I can get to listen, trust me!  I just simply have not had the time with working, taking care of the DFS demands, and appointments etc.  I really want to file a formal complaint about the man caseworker the most though, he made this granny MAD!  I have the perfect family DFS nEEDS to be doing something about actually!  My ex son in law, who is my grandsons biological father, is sadly also a terrible drug addict.  He uses IV (meth) mostly.  His health is almost totally destroyed now and my best guess is he will be lucky to survive to be 35 years old.  He is 32 now.  He lives in a house with his mother, his aunt, his half sister, a half brother, and a couple he dragged home a few months back during a stay at the Salvation there are 3 little nieces and nephews in this home ages 5, 3, 1.  The entire bunch of these people (excluding the children) are raging addicts.  They use IV drugs, among pill popping.  They all smoke cigarettes like crazy and sell their food stamps for more drugs and smokes.  I have heard the conversations when my ex son in law was visiting the grandchildren in foster care myself.  They also sell and trade the FREE government handout cell phones with FREE 250 minutes a month on them, and they all live on either welfare and disability or have no income at all.  No joke.  THEN he told me a few days ago that the little kids are filthy because their mother (his half sister) has been on a meth high for 4 days without sleep, and they have messed in their britches, and they all had to have heads shaved due to head lice!  I am just shocked at this.  He told me he knows someone that planned to hot line this situation...and I hope they do.  But here they are giving me this unecessary grief, when a year and a half ago they gave me these same two children to care for when my daughter had them out of her care!  Nothing has changed in that year and a half with me or my husband, so it is uncalled for.  I may use just that example when I begin calling or writing to my congressman and whoever else will hear me!  THAT is where DFS needs to be, not here trying to bully me.  Good grief.  J
Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / Re: Hello, I'm new
August 09, 2013, 03:06:20 pm
Hello and welcome.  I understand your anger and your pain.  I too have experienced some of what you speak about with a son.  I think the other gals have done a great job as always in their replies.  I was lucky my son grew up and views things much differently now.  Keep coming back, Luise and the ladies are very supportive and it's great to have a place to just talk out your feelings...they let me rant often!  J
Thanks again for the replies, you have no idea how much it helps.  It has been another very difficult and stressful week I'm afraid.  I have called the childrens guardian ad litem every day since he returned from vacation, but no response back.  I finally called his office again today and said bluntly that I have been calling him every day, and I called well over a month ago and no reply then either, and I need to speak to him!  She put him right on the phone.  lol  I told him about first being threatened by a DFS (CPS) caseworker, told him I was lied to about the fact that if fingerprinting and background check came back clean I could have the children placed here then, I told him that on August 7th this same caseworker told me he would be back Monday the 12th of August and he would then need a diagram from both myself and my husband of our family tree for three generations (what the heck for???), even though we already gave our parents names, birthdates, all sibling and birthdates, their kids etc...then the caseworker said he'd speed up our case a bit by bringing me BLANK report forms to sign, then he would fill in later...does he take me for an idiot?  lol  I told the childrens attorney that DFS has also known for well over 6 weeks that my daughter and the kids biological father wish for me to have guardianship, yet they have not even petitioned the judge to get that ball rolling.  I told the G.A.L. that I am in fear because this particular caseworker already told me he wouldn't approve me for foster parenting due to the impact it might have on my 14 year old grandaughter I'm raising.  Hmmm, really, so when did this guy become a licensed therapist to know how my grandaughter would be impacted...and besides we are taking (trying) her brothers, not foster kids.  I have had it with this caseworker and I did tell childrens attorney I had spoken to my attorney (true), and if I do decide to file suit, and I may, it will not be on a state level, it will be in Federal Court (been doing my research).  I have been so stressed and upset trying to jump through the hoops, I totally forgot to go to the required physical I had scheduled with my doctor at 2pm today.  I am so very upset, now doctor is mad I'm sure, but it was not intentional...and I simply was exhausted and fell asleep, I DO work third shift after all and it's hard to stay awake for so many hours.  I'll be happy to pay for the office call, whatever.  The doctors office was supposed to call me back to reschedule my appointment, but they have not done so.  Story of my life.  lol  I am also upset about some "requirements" the caseworker said he had to do.  For instance one question he asked was if we have a good support system for if we need to talk to anyone if we are upset or stressed.  Boy they look for anything don't they?  We said yes we have good friends and family...well so the guy said even though you say that I am REQUIRED to write a NEED down, so he said he would put my husband needs to remember to use his support when needed...who said my husband didn't do that?  I am livid at the junk he is pulling.  I am at least hopeful that the kids attorney will be helpful now.  He did not seem very happy about what has been going on (he has been on vacation for a month).  He told me when we were ending our conversation he is calling the other DFS caseworkers in the other county about what has been going on.  I also let this man know I had been trying to get help for these children for YEARS and DFS never did anything and I told them something was going to happen to endanger these kids and it sure did.  I got his attention now.  On a good note, grandaughter is doing well and loves her now youth group.  She is at a lock-in tonite actually there with that group of friends.  Scavenger hunt is planned, then movies and games!  She is so happy her braces are off and her teeth are beautiful.  Not sure how to put this without breaking rules, so please delete if needed, but I love our new place of worship, and have made some good friends there already.  Pastor is wonderful and makes you feel welcome and as if you are part of a family...I am blessed.  Oh I left out another thing I told kids attorney, drat!  I told him I was upset that the kids would have to begin school there, then be plucked out and moved again after they already have suffered so much trauma, and I felt that was not in there best interests.  I told him about little ones IEP issues which add to that not being good for him.  The weather here has been great for August, which is lovely too.  Ladies, I so appreciate your allowing me to come here to release the stress.  You all are truly amazing, and just letting it out took about a ton of weight off my shoulders it seems.  Thanks so much.  Blessings to all.  J
Thanks for the support ladies.  At least I got to call and speak to the grandsons last evening and tell the little one Happy Birthday...although the foster mother lives out in the country and only has a cell phone, no land line THUS no signal most of the time!  We lost signal and had dropped calls 5 times during the time I was trying to visit with the children, and I intend to have THAT issue addressed as well.  I do intend to begin calling congressman, representatives, and the GAL will be back from vacation on Aug 6, and I will most certainly be giving him a call!  Sadly last night the foster mother informed me the boys were going to begin school apparently they have NO plans to hurry this up at all, so I am once again angry.  School begins here in about 3 weeks, so who knows how long they plan to play games with me.  Can't they get an emergency court hearing and change the permanency plan to get those children in their permanent placement?  I THOUGHT that was a goal for DFS or CPS...another load of bologna if you ask me.  I really am opposed to them being jerked and changing schools on top of what they have already endured.  I honestly see no reason why they should not be placed here, then we can get the guardianship established etc.  I am sure they are really tired of hearing from me, and they really don't like what I have to say to them...but it appears I am the only one who genuinely cares for the best interests of those boys.  J
Waiting Happily...I like that.  Thanks Luise.  I am really trying to "wait happily", but the thought of the boys beginning school in that place where all the kids and their parents know the situation, and the kids were being mean to my grandson, I feel sad for him.  I don't like the idea of him starting school and being jerked out and having to change schools once again.  So hard on a kid, especially one that's been through as much as that one has.  Also I just want to hold them and hug them and read bedtime stories and tell them they will be SAFE now with grandma and papa and big sister.  I'll try to be more patient, but I have to admit the red tape and the ridiculous process is making me nuts!   :P  Blessings to all of you here.   J
What another week it has been.  I am sad today.  It is my youngest grandsons birthday, but no party invitation for us.  I have his gifts sitting here ready.  My grandaughter is sad too.  We are still jumping through ridiculous hoops by DFS, CPS whatever you call them (I prefer another term!)...Luise you can edit that out if you want, I just couldn't help myself!  The braces are off and grandaughters teeth are lovely.  She is very happy, and we are happy for her.  This week on our "Home Visit" by DFS, CPS we had to show proof we were married, income proof, have our photo taken in front of our home (to prove we have that too????), had to bring one of the dogs in to the guy to prove the shots and tags are current ....HUH???  They wanted our religious affiliation too.  Proof of homeowners insurance, car insurance, then the guy wanted all of our parents names and birthdays, all of our siblings, and were they married, any children and then what their employment was too!  I really do not know what this has to do with me taking my grandsons in, but whatever.  This fella told us possibly the boys could be placed here as soon as fingerprints and background checks come out and are clear...well, they did, and nope, no date for placement still...another lie.  It's looking like the doctor appointments I have set for them to do meds and well check will need to be cancelled, as well as back to school hair cut appointments.  The older grandson is still not on his ADHD meds.  I have their school clothes ready and the older childrens school supplies are ready as well.  Little britches has a "pack pack" as he calls it for IF he ever gets here and gets enrolled in Head Start program.  Grandaughter had her sports physical yesterday too, and plans to try out for volleyball this month...we wish her luck, but she knows if she does not make that then she can do other things...what a great kid she is.  She is now attending a "youth group" at (not sure how to put this so as not to break the rules) our chosen "spiritual place"???  Sorry, and if that is not allowed feel free to remove that too!  She loves it at any rate, and has made new friends.  I feel comfortable there and welcome also...nice feeling.  We plan a little mini vacation this month to do some camping, hiking, walking the dogs, cooking outdoors, fishing etc...we were sure hoping to have the boys with us then of course.  My daughter calls daily, and sounds more like her "real self" more each day.  The bipolar meds are working, and her head is clear and drug free.  She answers all of my difficult questions honestly, though it is hard to hear sometimes.  I have to hope this terrible chain of events will be a lesson like she claims it has been.  Time will tell of course.  I live in the SHOW ME state!  lol  At least her willingness to grant my husband and I complete guardianship of her children is a wise choice for her, and she says so.  She now knows they need stability, and to be safe, and knows I will provide them that.  When she is well, she is such a different person to be honest.  Her bipolar disorder is so severe, and then the awful choices she makes adds to it.  Her disability will be reinstated upon her release, whenever that is.  I have wished a million times she was free of that horrible mental disorder...but it is what it is.  Of all things to inherit from her dad huh?  (my ex husband).  He chooses to have nothing to do with his children or grandchildren, as that would cramp his style!  He is the one who misses out though.  The grandchildren really do not know him at all...probably for the best considering how he is.  My husband has always been "papa" to them.  He is a kind, gentle spirit, and I adore him.  I am getting heavy eyes as I sit here, I may need a power nap.  My sweet dogs are cuddling here with me and are fast asleep.  My grandaughter has a friend over and they are playing nicely.  Thanks for allowing me to vent once again.  J
STILL waiting for the grandsons to be here, and to be honest I am sort of between sad and furious!  The caseworker doing our "home study" is not making my life easy, and that is putting it mildly.  We were made to go do fingerprinting AGAIN, even though it was done only a year and a half ago when the grandsons were placed in my home back then.  They came in and looked at our home then too, but they have been here twice already and will be here again the 30th of this month.  I said to the caseworker "why can't the boys be placed here while we do the home study", and "I really feel my time would be better spent getting the children into counseling and getting the little one enrolled in head start before there are no spots left, and he has an IEP already at age 4, so this is quite important for him".  The guy said this to me...are you ready?  "If you are too busy to do what we want you to do, then maybe you are too busy to take these children".  Lets just say this...I was livid, (understatement)...and I said and I again quote "Don't you threaten me!!!!!!"  I want to speak to your supervisor and immediately!  The hoops we are having to jump through increase each week.  We both have to write autobiographies even!  My problem is that the paperwork, mountains of it that ask the same questions over and over and over again, are all geared towards those going to be foster parents, and we are not.  So a question like would you be willing to take in a child of a different race or culture? is moot!  How do I answer that...I have explained we are not going to be foster parents.  My daughter has told CPS and so has the childrens biological father that they would like to sign over guardianship of the children to really this is all unecessary.  When I said this to CPS they told me that since the original PLAN was for the children to be reunited with their mother (my daughter), we will need to take this in front of a judge to get him to APPROVE the change of plan!  What???  So they have no problem giving these kids back to a parent who had not one meth lab on the property the kids resided in, but THREE, the step dad was bouncing one childs head off the refrigerator and bloodies his eye, the boys are locked in the bedroom from the outside while they dangerously cook meth...and the judge needs to approve the change?  Ladies, I have to shake my head at that.  The system has gone totally mad.  CPS wants proof we are married, proof of our income, our religious affiliation, we have to have physicals to prove we are able to care for the kids even though we are raising their sister already etc.  Oh yeah, we had to provide 9 or 10 references too.  One is our pediatrician, one is the middle school principal, one is the teacher one grandson had last year while here, one is the daycare provider for my grandaughter for several years until she reached school age....but NOW, CPS wants our pediatrician to write a paragraph stating she appears to be in good health (how dare they question that!), and also is asking the doctor if he feels taking on foster children will impact my grandaughter negatively!  LOL  LOL  LOL  These people are something else!  We are not taking foster kids but I can't get them to see that clearly I guess.  I can picture going to our pediatrician and saying fill this out please.  Then he says oh you are taking in foster children?  I'll say no.  He will look at me with a puzzled look and probably think I have lost my mind!  I called my attorney this past week.  I am tired of fooling with idiots.  She referred me to an attorney in that county (over 3 hours away from our home town).  Unfortunately we will be spending money that could be used for the childrens needs, but we have no choice.  I really appreciate all of your kind advice I really do.  But I have to be honest is NOT in my nature to bow down and kiss these caseworkers feet when THEY ultimately have been guilty of neglecting to protect these children, not me.  Since the parents both agree to the guardianship actually, this makes all of the paperwork and stuff unecessary.  Their bedrooms are both ready, and with my grandaughters great artistic flair they are quite fabulous rooms!  We will ultimately be given the boys we know that.  They just want to make it harder simply because I am quite vocal and question their objectives, and they don't like their power trips disrupted!  LOL  Too bad...yep, this particular grandma will fight like a lion for these sweet kids...let the fight begin.  On a good note my daughter seems to be doing okay, the bipolar meds are helping her now.  I hope she will do as she says she will and fight to recover from the evils of drug addiction.  Time will tell, and only she can do that.  I continue to write to her each and every day except one day a week for a break for me.  My grandaughter writes a few times a week and draws her pictures and writes poems, and sends song lyrics of songs she enjoys.  The braces come off this next week already, and her teeth are beautiful!  Thanks for letting me rant once again, it truly helps just to vent.  Blessings to you all.   J