September 27, 2020, 09:19:00 am


"Welcome to -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."

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Topics - Amytx5

Hello, This is my first post and Im thrilled to have found this site. I will try to shorten a LONG story but I tend to be long winded. I am a stay at home mom to 5 children. 4 sons ages 22, 17, and 14 yr old twins. 1 daughter who will be 21 in Aug. My daughter who is dating a man 6 yrs older then her, left our home in the beginning of her Senior yr in highschool. She was dating bf for 4 mths at the time. As soon as she turned 18, he told her she didnt have to follow our rules anymore and she agreed. She moved in with my inlaws, (mil is an alcoholic, fil is enabler) we have been separated from inlaws for 7 yrs.  Inlaws were more then happy to take our daughter in, buy her a car, a new laptop etc... anything to keep her from coming back home. Our daughter did leave initially because we had 3 arguments about her bf's controlling behavior.  BF is also the father of a 6 yr old boy that he had with a 15 yr old girl. This "Man" is a manipulator, control freak, has no morals, values or work ethic. He is a "the world is against poor me" type of person and our daughter thinks he is her saviour. He has been physically and verbally abusive to our eldest son, my brother and my husband and myself. My daughter and I have attended counseling to no avail, it always ended as a screaming match. She moved in with bf 6mths after she graduated hs and has been with him ever since. She recently decided to get in touch with her older brother via text and decided to try to mend some fences with us. There has been very limited texting , basically very superficial, the weather, work, basic conversation, extremely limited.   I have been so emotionally void, I almost let this situation destroy me and I have finally recovered and startting living again. I am afraid to let her in, I have dreams of the relationship we had, when our family was all together. She was a wonderful sister/daughter. This is her first boyfriend and she has completely been brainwashed. I want to try to let her in, but I am anticipating that a conversation is coming about marrying this man. I will NEVER accept him into our family and he will NEVER be allowed to treat any other family member like he did before. My daughter left 6 of us, my parents, my brother and his 3 children, my great aunt and her family. All for this man. He should be in jail for his relationship with a 15 yr old, and then for my daughter when she was 16. (We were unaware of their relationship at that age) I have so much anger and frustration. We had a beautiful family and all for selfish wants/needs, she walked away for a man that has nothing to offer her. I dont know how to relate to her now and as soon as i mention her bf and not accepting him, im afraid the war will begin again. Any thoughts?