We have our 8 year old granddaughter regularly. We've gone RVing with her, and have even traveled to other countries on vacations. These two extreme examples, as how our sons/ DILs trust us with their child/children... are so extremely opposite -- it's ridiculous.
I'm not asking them if we can take our grandsons, ( 6 and 4), on vacation. I simply asked if the older son, could come over for an afternoon, and paint some pictures with me.
My son exploded, screaming at me: "What I say is law! No way will we ever let the boys visit you alone! You may just drive off to - who knows where- with them! "
(.... I know -- we were speechless too.)
So my question is.... How much should we grandmothers swallow, just for the sake of harmony? Frankly, I feel such an overwhelming disappointment in my son... I can't even put it into words. He had a wonderful childhood, (which he has told us many times). There is absolutely no reason for him to treat us like this, other than -- he chooses to support his wife's insecurities and panic attacks.
As much as I love my two grandsons, I feel even sorrier for them. They are smothered and crushed from her dominance. The older one has so many different ticks, I've lost count. The younger one is terribly aggressive, and as I've mentioned in another post, my DIL has even been kicked out of a kindergarten because of her dictating angry behavior.
My husband and I don't want to be added to their club of manipulative suckers. My youngest grandson's birthday is coming up. I can imagine they will ask us to come over, and they'll act sickly sweet, as if nothing has happened. I'm not sure what to do. What's worse? Staying in contact, and tolerating their behavior? Or breaking off all ties and hoping that someday, when my grandsons are old enough: they'll come visit us on their own--if we're lucky -- before they turn 40.