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Topics - nikncon

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Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / My son is making me feel guilty
« on: November 21, 2017, 07:17:44 PM »
Hello.I was a member several years ago.I always enjoyed this group especially Luise.Hi .It’s  Nikncon.Things have gotten better,
.DS has a new job,new condo,new town,new puppy.DH and I helped with the move in Aug.Now near Christmas.DS emails me and says to forget Christmas exists.We went to Florida for several years.We don’t anymore.DS says that we were in Florida for several years .He was always invited down and came once.We always celebrated with him before we left.I feel guilty now because my new husband of eighteen years did go away mostly after Christmas.I was so hoping to have him and his puppy here with us.Should zi reply to his email .What Should I say? His dad passed away when he was 24.His young brother two years later at twenty one.Two suicides.I feel awful.Help.

Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / What would you do?
« on: May 03, 2013, 06:46:56 PM »
Hello friends.I need your advice.My DS is coming to visit for a few days.When he called DS asked if the two of us could go out for dinner one night and would DH mind.DH is not my son's father..I would love to go with DS but I don't want to hurt DH's feelings.I'm sure that DH would say sure no problem but I feel guilty about leaving him home alone.If his DS would want to do that with his DF I would be happy for them to have some time alone together.Helpxx

Hello friends.I got a phone call from DS this morning asking why I haven't called him in three weeks.Well!!! I told him that he sent me an email asking me not to call,send cards etc about two weeks ago .So that's why I haven't contacted him.DS said that the card that I sent didn't help.He is still going for councilling but I  don't think that the doctor he is seeing is helping him much.I suggested that DS try to get another psychiatrist.One that doesn't just try out different meds on him and sees him only once a month.DS agreed .I know that he loves me .I was thinking of calling some psychologists myself to see if I can get him into therapy. Psychologists charge $250 an hour and are not covered by DS's insurance.I would love to help DS find the help that  he needs.But he would probably be furious if I did.So I will not do anything except listen to him and keep in contact.Just thought that I would let you know what's going on.Not easy seeing him go through this.Hugs.

Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / Worried again!
« on: March 19, 2013, 12:56:15 PM »
Hi ladies.I haven't written for a while but I do read your stories every night.My DS has talked to me since Jan.I know that DS loves me and has a lot to contend with right now.His job,his therapy whether he is moving or not.I haven't heard from DS for two weeks now.I am worried and would like to know how he's doing.Maybe.If I know and it's not good I'll be worried.If I don't call I will still be worried.I sent DS a very nice card with a message about how things in life are not always as we want but there is always a lesson to be learned.I bought it and the words were already written.I just signed "love you " Mom.Should I wait until DS calls or call him email?? I know that if he has nothing new to say about his situation DS is probably waiting to see about his job etc.So ladies your opinions please?? :(

Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / Val passed away.
« on: February 22, 2013, 07:18:42 AM »
My sympathies to Luise and her family and friends.Your family at WWU are always here for you as you have always been for us.Hugs Nik.

Grab Bag / You are in my prayers Luise.
« on: February 19, 2013, 05:08:01 AM »
I know that Val is not doing well. He is in a nice comfortable home and your daily visits are comforting for both of you. Take care.xx

Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / Happy Valentine's day.
« on: February 14, 2013, 05:15:58 AM »
It's been very quiet here lately but I am thinking of you often.Hope everyone is having some happiness today with a loved one or by yourself.You are number one.So treat yourself to something special today.Hugs to all WW. :-*

Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / What do I do now?
« on: January 21, 2013, 04:56:20 AM »
I  just got an email from DS?He says that I can call him once in a while but that he doesn't see himself ever coming to visit us again.DS said "no more pretending" I have no clue what to do.I don't want to do or say the wrong thing. Help! :'(

Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / Very sad New Years Day.
« on: January 01, 2013, 05:39:46 AM »
Good morning WW.My DS has sent me an email this morning saying that he' s moving on.He says that he is glad that I'm happy but that he had things to get off his chest.I left his DD after 25 yrs. DH had severe emotional problems.After council ing I finally left the home .Since my DH was in a depression I moved with an older lady and rented from her for a year.I did my best to see my OS and his YB who was 18 at the time every week.My OS had moved away already and was working in his profession.My YS lived with DD.After this year I met my now DH.After my first DH committed suicide I moved in with my new spouse who helped me with my grief.H He was also very good to YS .Two years later YS also committed suicide.I was devastated.Now my family was only OS and DH.We have been together for eleven years and does everything he can to make me happy.He also is kind to OS when he visits though OS is often moody.OS has a very good heart and I love him dearly.He has been in council ing for many years but after many unsuccessful relationships is still alone.DS has so much to give.The email says that he hasn't had respect for me because I was a catalyst in his DD's passing.OS says that I have DH but he has lost DD and DB and has no one.OS says that I can call him if I want to talk about this.DS doesn't know all the emotional abuse and all the outbursts that DD put me through while I tried to keep the family together.I feel sorry for DS and only want his happiness.I don't know what to do.Should I call him and discuss this?I am a snowbird and won' t be home until April.Should I wait and talk to him face to face?Should I tell DH about this email?He will be upset since I have been worrying about DS for the 11 years that we have been together.I would appreciate your advice.Not a very good way to start the New Year.

Grab Bag / Send a gift or not??
« on: October 02, 2012, 07:42:58 PM »
Hello .I need your input.My sister and I used to be pretty close.Talked at least once a week.I took care of our mother for ten years.My sister called her every night but visited for one day once a year.When mom passed two yrs ago in Nov my sister didn't come to our mother's bedside or take care of anything.My DH and I did it all.We are both in our fifties and sixties.I have called her and tried to keep in touch.She rarely answers my emails.Her birthday is next Monday.I don't know if I should send a gift or a card or nothing at all.Could you please give me your wise comments.Louise if I am in the wrong forum I'm sorry.PS she is the only family I have left.She has two sons which I didn't meet until they were four and six.My DS saw his cousins aboutii four times in twenty seven years.He has no contact with them because he says that he doesn't know them.My  sister never kept contact with my son since he was 18.He is 37.I do keep contact with my oldest nephew and I call once in a while and talk to brother in law about my computer problems.My sister is at work usually.I tell him to say hello to her tell her I called and to call me when she isn't too busy.No call.BD gift or not??

Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / Should I go or should I stay?
« on: June 24, 2012, 04:28:50 AM »
Hello my friends.I would like your opinion.My DS is in his first fitness competition in August.Not my cup of tea but he is health nut and works very hard to be in great shape.He also has a teaching position.DS calls me at least twice  a week to chat and visited us two weekends ago.If you recall I was hurt when he had surgery last Nov. and didn't want me there.So we were in Fl.Got updates daily from friends and now ex fiance.DS says that he may only be on stage for ten minutes on one day and ten the next.I booked a motel for a few nights to go cheer him on.I am only family he has.DSF also.DS now says that it will cost us too much.Motel gas since it's threehours away,meals entrance to event which is over one hundred dollars a piece.I want to be there though it is very expensive.I gave DS a small amount of money to sponsor him.DS has quite a lot of sponsors as he is well liked bu a lot of people.I am proud of his achievements.I assume other competitors will have family there.DS thinks that it's too expensive and that it will be aired on Pay Per View and we can watch it from home.Should I ignore his wishes or tell DS that we want to be there for him at the event even if it's expensive? Anxious to hear your replies. :-X

Grab Bag / Movie at theater about Adult Children.
« on: March 08, 2012, 03:40:15 PM »
Hi Luise.I don' t know if this is the right place to place this.Jeff  Living AT Home with Susan Sarandon.Could be something as moms we could surely relate to .Has anyone heard about it?Hope to go see it soon.The actress was on Dr Phil .

Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / Things are looking up.
« on: January 20, 2012, 07:20:43 PM »
 ;)Well WW my DS finally went back to work .He had to face his fellow workers and his ex future wife..He was so nervous that DS had not slept for a few nights.He did call tonight.Work went fairly well.The staff /friends said how sorry they were about his and  ex's breakup of engagement.After school ex and DS spoke .Ex was crying and said that she had so much going on with her ex her DC moving in with her ex in the fall.etc.My DS told her that he was doing all sorts of things to better himself and after he went through the surgery felt so much better now with be,ing able to sleep well ,taking classes to improve himself etc and now she decided that she no longer wanted to try to work things out.DS told her that now he is moving on, no longer  there for her even if she has problems with her ex or her DC etc. since she broke the engagement .She was crying a lot but DS left the office went home .After he called I told him how proud of the way he had handled himself.My DS is finally growing up emotionally.I am sure  in his next serious relationship that he will be more prepared .A big step for DS after all the pain he and I have been through in our lives.DS really loved this girl and I know still does but is realising that this would have been a very difficult amd complicated marriage and probably would not have worked out in the longrun..I feel so much better.You Ww were so right.DS would have to do this on his own and he did. ;D

Grab Bag / Dear Luise:
« on: January 19, 2012, 07:13:32 AM »
 Dear Luise.I feel like you are a mother to me with all your sound advice
 about my son's breakup with his fiance.My mom passed away three years ago at
 the age of 89.I miss her dearly and our time together.Talking to you makes
 me feel better.I wanted to tell you how sorry I am about your DH's health.100
 Yrs old!!.That is wonderful.Will keep you in my prayers. Hugs

Grab Bag / The Fitness Pal
« on: January 09, 2012, 10:31:50 AM »
Hi Pooh.Could you please help me post my weight loss on our wwu site?I did register  on Fitness Pal and did a profile.Thanks  :)

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