Just wanting to give you some history here: DIL's mom was with her while DIL gave birth. I never asked to be in the room, knew that was not my place. DIL's parents live thirty minutes away, DIL is close to her mom, she is an only child. DIL and I do not have a bad relationship, but it is not a close one. I would have wanted to have a stronger relationship with DIL, but she has never really seemed to have a need for such a relationship and I did not push.
Anyway, my husband and I get to son and DIL's house. My son is beaming with pride as he greets us. DIL's mom comes in with the baby. She proudly tells us how well my son did during labor, that the baby's nickname is nicknamed Cissy (baby's name is Cecile) and that the baby looks just like their side of the family. DIL's mom hands me my granddaughter, warning me to be careful of her head and not to drop her.
I felt my stomach drop. I have two children, I know how to hold babies. I didn't need to know who the baby looked like, I wanted to see that myself and the info about my son doing well in labor seemed to me like DIL's mom was gloating and rubbing it in that she was there for the birth.
Anyway, my husband and I visited for three hours. DIL did not come out from her room, I was told she was not feeling up to company.
The next day, my husband and I came back with takeout-enough for my son, DIL and her mom. DIL's mom tells us she never eats takeout and lists the reasons why it is bad for you and that DIL doesn't allow "junk" in the house. My son admitted that DIL has been interested in eating healthy since she was pregnant and that yes, she was not crazy about takeout, but it was no big deal.
After my son said this, I again, asked about DIL and her mom said that DIL again, wanted to rest, she would not be seeing us.
I asked my son if DIL's labor was that hard and he said that DIL just really wanted to sleep while she could. My husband and I stayed for almost four hours. Like the day before, DIL's mom never left us alone. My son went and got the baby and the MIL watched us like hawks. I felt really uncomfortable and said to DIL's mom that if she wanted to run errands or check on DIL, we would be fine. DIL's mom said she was fine and wanted to stay in case "anything happened."
What did she think was going to happen, that we would take the child and run off?
The last day of the visit, we only stayed two hours. My son took lots of pics of us holding the baby and some video as well. Again, no DIL, but her mom stayed right there. I asked about DIL, again told she was not up for visitors.
My husband and I left. I was very hurt at how I was treated by DIL's mom, like I was not good enough. Then I find out today a different story.
My son and daughter run a business together. About 3 hours after my husband and I left for home my daughter went to my son and DIL's to drop off his cell phone charger. She told me that when she dropped it off, DIL was sitting on the couch, joking, laughing with her family, who were there visiting.
My daughter, who knew that DIL did not visit with us when we were there, told DIL she was glad she was feeling up to company, because she had heard the opposite story. My daughter said didn't say anything, she stopped laughing and knew she had been called out. My son was not home when this happened, he had gone to the airport to pick up more of DIL's family.
I am insulted by how my husband and I were treated. DIL was not up for company when it was her husband's kin, but for her own family , she is fine. Do I tell my son about how I feel or say nothing?