March 28, 2024, 07:53:38 AM

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"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


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Topics - SuzyQ

1
Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / Difficult AD
April 05, 2018, 12:42:18 PM
Hello everyone- I think I found this forum by mistake, but certainly glad I did. I will try to share my story as succinctly as possible.Eight years ago me and my female spouse were asked to take in my two nieces.One was 3 the other a year and a half. The eldest left home at 17 because she didn't like the rules we put in place.Nothing out of the ordinary, no sleepovers during the school week, no boys in the bedroom, help with chores etc... We were not sad that she left as she was very difficult and had a lot of issues that years of counseling couldn't help.She left and never looked back. My other niece who we refer to as our daughter is now 19 and we are starting to feel confused about our relationship with her. Since  she turned 18, there has been little sharing from her to us.She decided to begin dating a boy with whom we really don't know besides his name and what he looks like.She shares nothing with us about ANYTHING their anniversary, what he gives her for gifts, plans that they may be making etc. However, they share everything that they are doing with his parents.She stays with his parents over the summer and seems to feel very at home with his family, but won't bring him around our house.Yes, he knows that we are a same sex couple. Lately, I spotted some very unkind things that our AD was saying on social meeting and it was extremely hurtful as we have been nothing but gracious, understanding, loving, and kind but yet we aren't worth her sharing things with us. She gets money when needed, asks for help with her car repairs and the like.However, now we really don't know where to go from here.Maybe we have been too nice. I don't want our relationship to be damaged, but we are tired of getting "dirt kicked in our face." Thanks