November 29, 2020, 11:55:30 am


"Welcome to -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."

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Topics - Frustrated Oma

Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws / Conflicted
February 20, 2018, 03:30:58 pm

I am new to this forum.  I am also a new grandparent.  When my son met his wife, we absolutely loved her.  She was always so sweet and said how she came from a broken family so she loved the fact that we were all so close.  After they became engaged we began to notice a change in her as well as my son.  They hardly shared any wedding details with us and they became more distant.  They did a great job with their wedding and we told them so, we also gave them a very generous gift.  The visits were less and less and they seemed to always be busy with her Mom and sisters.  They didn't come for any holiday except Christmas as there were gifts involved.  They told us they were pregnant and we were very happy.  Throughout the pregnancy, there was never any news about doctor appts unless asked and then very vague answers were given.  On the day our Grandson was born, my son never called to say she was in labor or that the baby had been born.  I just happened to find out because I texted to see how she was feeling knowing her due date was past.  Now they live 20 mins from us  so it's not like this was happening in another state.  We went to the hospital and was able to hold our Grandson for about 5 minutes because she had all her sisters, their boyfriends, Grand mother and mother in the room.  We were able to see him twice the first week he was home and then were told they weren't accepting any visitors.  After a few weeks went by I asked again to come by and was told no.  Then I got upset and told my son he hurt my feelings.  He blew up at me.  Told me I smothered him his whole life and to leave him alone.  Eight weeks went by before we had another conversation, only to find out his wife prefers a life with her family only.  I just don't know what to do or where to put this in my brain.  I have been to consuling and I still loose sleep at night over this...  Why would my son who really did have a happy childhood and always told us how much he appreciated us now think this is ok?