October 26, 2021, 08:23:50 PM


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Topics - IssaQueen

I am hoping for some perspective here. My FH and I have been dating for two years. At first it was long distance, as I was on the West Coast and he was on the East Coast. After her proposed 6 months ago, I transferred my job and moved to be with him. That is the good part. The bad part is my FMIL  and I do not gel. She has not taken to me in the least and I in turn, have a hard time relating to her. Our personalities are very different and I am not sure that gap can be bridged. I have always been polite and respectful, but am very reserved in the presence of FMIL-I am sure she sses it as standoffish, but I cannot help it. I am an introvert anyway and esp when I suspect that someone does not like me, which I am sure is the case with FMIL.

FH has talked with his mom, but things have not improved much. But here is why I am writing. This past Sunday, FMIL invited us to Sunday Dinner-I did not go, but  FH did. My parents were in town for 3 days-they have never seen the area where I live and I was spending time with them. FH told his mom that I did not come as my parents were in town. FMIL was very upset by this and maybe even hurt. She asks why didn't she know that my parents were in town, why did she not get a chance to meet them? She is really insulted by this and now I am in the doghouse more than ever.

I do not see the issue. My parents were in town to spend time with me-they had dinner with FH and I their first night here-and they did not request to meet FMIL. I did not think it was necessary or important. FH and I haven't begun planning the wedding yet-we are getting hitched in late 2018-and there is plenty of time to meet before then. So it will happen eventually, both parents meeting, but  I don't see why it had to be the first time my parents visited.

To be fair, my mom is my best friend (along with my sister and my friend since 2nd grade) and I did tell her of my troubled relationship with FMIL. But at the same time, I do not consider this a snub by myself and my folks toward FMIL.

Was I wrong?