My last post was emotionally charged with pain and non acceptance with the disrespect from DS and DIL. I have now had an eye opening experience of being diagnosed with abdominal cancer and have to look at life so differently than before. The relationship with my DS and DIL has not changed with the disrespect and disconnect even in light of my diagnosis.
As to be expected, my DH and I now will be concentrating on future surgeries and therapies to stay a head of this life changing disease. Who would have
thought that this would actually change the expectations we have had in our relationship with our DS and DIL. You must come to a place where you learn to hold on to the good in your life and try to accept the not so good. Do I wish my oldest son showed concern and wanted to talk to me about the cancer, of course
I do. Past behavior is predictive of future behavior and this is an unrealistic expectation.
As we go through this cancer journey, we are blessed with many friends and family that are very much there with emotional support including our youngest son.
This post is not about the cancer, we have had it in our family before, as I am sure many of you have also. This post is about how I am learning, as many of you posting here have, to accept estranged relationships for what they are and to embrace the healthy relationships.
I am still working on acceptance, but just wanted to share that I realized it is up to me and my DH to change our expectations and not expect our
son to change.
Thank you all for this site.