I just found you and want to thank you for setting up this board. I have read through a lot of new and old post and now feel that DH and I are not alone anymore. A little background Our DS (Only Child) has been Married to DIL for almost 7 years and dated for 3 years. At first I though she was just shy and quiet and eventually would come out of her shell. For the last several years she wouldn't show up to holidays with DS. Then she would have parties that sell things. As a good MIL I would go and she would just complain about my DS about this and that in front of everyone, and I would just sit and say nothing. Then one time I just snapped, and I turned and looked her in the eye and in front of everyone I just told her That when I gave him to her, he was perfectly fine, you broke him. From that point on, I made sure I had plans for other things on the days she would have these parties.
Now DS complains she doesn't do anything with him, etc etc. I just told him hey you married her. We are very nice to her but in the last couple of years Mine and DH attitude is we are done going out of the way to do things to be nice. We are lucky in we still have a great relationship with DS, no GK yet and not sure there will be any.
But in reading the old post I see that we have done the right thing and just be nice and stay out of her life and for that I thank everyone. It actually felt good to see that it is the right thing to do. If she wants in our life that is just fine, but we have come to peace with her not being in our lives.
So once again, thank you everyone for sharing your experience, they have comforted me.