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"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."

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Topics - DixieDarling

Grab Bag / The Bubble Just Broke
November 09, 2013, 10:15:11 am
Good Morning Ladies,
I am still very new here and haven't figured out how to go back and read each of your stories. So please excuse me if I ask a question every one else knows the answer to.
Your deep love for your children is why it hurts you so much. If it was someone you didn't know or like it wouldn't bother nor hurt you. That is all I meant saying nothing can hurt you more than those you love.
The sadness I feel reading what some of you have wrote is strong. I'm so very sorry for the pain you are feeling.
I haven't had to deal with  many issue concerning my AC , so I am clueless. But I do feel horrible for those who are going thru it and want to understand more.
Our children with the exception of the son in the Army has settled within a few miles of us. And I've always been grateful for that.
Our son in the Army is building a home here year after next and his family will be living here full time. I was so happy and thrilled thinking all our children and grandchildren would be together. The kids would grow up knowing their cousins.
Well my bubble was popped last week.  :( Our middle son's is moving with his family 4 hours away. (Its his work)  Our grandson is almost 7 years old and been living next door since birth. I am going to miss him the most.!!
When he came to stay over last weekend he had a little speech all ready for me.
He said, " Don't worry Mimi we can facetime all you want to and I'll visit every chance I get. Daddy will let me use his cell phone to call you and he said if you get missing me to much you can call me.  It was all I could do not to cry. He was so sweet and behaving so grown up.
How selfish am I? I read some of what others are going thru and I have no right to feel sad I know. But I do. I'll miss them all so much.
I also wanted to comment on this, Fantine said,
"Ms. Luise is right that we all had lives before we had kids" - I've been a Mother my entire adult life. Had my 1st child at 19,  So who I was before kids really hadn't been decided. This where I have had to struggle. Trying to find out what I would like to do and how to do it? My family has been my only focus almost my entire life. And I'm blessed to be still very involved with the most of them. But I would like to discover who I am. If that makes any sense?
Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws / Our DIL
October 19, 2013, 07:59:43 am
Hello Ladies,
I'm new to your group. I've been reading a lot on this site and I'm impressed with not only the advice I've seen given here but the gentle kind way in which its given. So I thought that maybe someone here could help me?
I need suggestions on how I could get to know my newest DIL without bothering her? I'll try to give a little info about each of us. Maybe it will help?
I really like my DIL and to be totally honest she impresses me in so many ways! I'll name a few reasons why,
1) Our son is so happy that his face glows when he's with her.
2) Saying she's smart would be a gross understatement.
3) She is a hard worker and a wonderful RN
4)One of best home makers I've ever met! I know that to many women that isn't important but it always has been to me. So to see this young lady not only cooking a meal but actually plants a large garden and puts stuff up and uses it all thru the year. Their home is always spotless and decorated wonderfully!
Be honest how many women do you know at age 23 that can do these things anymore?

We have 3 DIL's total and I get along with the other two just fine. I've always been very aware to not butt in or crowd them. I don't show up without calling. I'm in love with my grandchildren just as most Grandmothers are. But that is what I am the "grandmother" not the parent and I don't over step.
Our sons have been blessed with fine wives. Women who to me are family.
Ok, here is what I'm having some trouble with.
I haven't found a way to connect with my newest DIL. I know she's busy and I don't want nor expect to be her BFF but I'd like to be able to talk to her when we are around each other. They've been married a tad over 2 years and now expecting their 1st child. She is an only child and lost her Father her Sr year of high school. She is very close to her mother and I just can't seem to get a foot hold on building a friendship with her. She is always polite and everything and its hard to explain. I just feel like I'm stumbling around her.
Does anyone have a suggestion about something I could try? I don't want her to ever think I only care because of the baby. So it would be good if I could start something before he's born.
I'm sorry this is so long. Thank you for reading it and for any suggestions. DD?/b]