I have had your reply up on my computer since you posted it trying to figure out what I should say. Once I was where you are but it didn't involve my children, it involved my husband. At least twice a year he would go out of town on a "guys weekend" and leave me to take care of the children. Over time I grew to resent this treatment. I voiced my resentment and my reasons but my DH just said "Why don't you just take a weekend trip too?". He had a point but I didn't want to leave my DH and children at home while I went out for a good time. I was at an impasse with a growing resentment about it. It was so unfair for him to do this to me year after year! I actually got so bad that I considered the big "D". It is amazing how much resentment can invade your relationship and turn a good one sour.
I can almost hear you thinking "So, what did you DO?" I went to a workshop that made me rethink how that resentment got there and who was responsible for it. Actually it was my own fault. I had given my DH the total responsibility for my happiness. Whether I am happy or not is my own decision and how much I let someone else "make me unhappy" is also my own choice. My workshop taught me that I was the only person who could make me happy or vice versa. I took a long look at my situation and came up with a solution.
I started doing things to make myself happy on those "guy weekends". I took the kids camping. I started going up to my DH and asking him when the next weekend was so that I could make plans for myself and the kids. When he came home the children and I were full of stories about how much fun we had had. I can only remember a couple of times camping without my DH there. It didn't take long for him to decide that he would rather go with us than go on the "guys" trip. Those camping trips stand out in all of our memories. My screen saver is filled with pictures of them and when they pop up I think about how much fun we had on that particular trip. I know my children will recall them with pleasure for their entire lifetimes, and to think the first camping trip my children went on was planned as a way to make myself happy and resentment free. I am forever grateful for that workshop. It was the beginning of my happily ever after. Yes, that was derailed by the DIL issue that brought me here and it took my reading on this site to bring me back to the path of happiness but right now, for a while, my life is blissfully happy. It is one of the things I will be thinking about this Thanksgiving.
I hope this will help you think twice about how unhappy you are letting yourself feel. I hope it will empower you to take control of your life instead of letting everyone else drive your moods. Happiness is a matter of perspective. Find something in your life that makes you happy and focus on it. Always remember what you focus on expands!
Hugs from all of us!