October 01, 2020, 06:51:29 am

News:

"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


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Messages - bosscat

1
I am new to this site but am so enjoying it and what a wonderful topic!!  I haven't done aything for
myself today - but tomorrow I am going to get my hair done then get my nails done.  Talk about
decadent!!  Being Scottish there is always a little bit os guilt about being so self indulgent - but I am
just old enough to realise that life is not a rehearsal!!  So all you ladies out there - go on - have a
''spoil myself day!!   Enjoy!!
2
Hello there - Boy are you having a tough time!!  Your daughter is and will always be your baby - butsometimes we have to exercise some tough love and some of it may not go amiss with her.  She is an emotional bully
who is taking advantge of you and who can sense that you will be devastated if you dont do her bidding.
I think you should focus more on the innocent GC who did not ask to come into her world.   He is a defenceless
baby who needs your care.  It sounds like your daughter is a totally self willed yong woman who will happily tell anyone
daft enough to listen what a ''victim'' she is.  She is lucky to have such a caring mother but sadly it seems
you will have to take charge of your GC while the mother goes her own way  Be strong and tell her a few
house rules.  Remember you have a life too and your daughter has a lot of growing up to do.

Good Luck
3
HELLO - MANY THANKS FOR REPLY AND PLEASE ACCEPT MY APOLOGIES
FOR UNINTENTIONALLY BREACHING ONE OF YOUR RULES.  I AM NEW TO
FORUMS LIKE THIS - SO HOPEFUL YOU WILL FORGIVE MY INNOCENCE.
AM ENJOYING THE SITE AND TAKE COMFORT IN KNOWING THAT THERE
ARE MANY OTHERS HAVE BEEN IN THE SAME SITUATION.  WE CAN HOPEFULLY
ALL GAIN STRENGTH FROM ONE ANOTHER.

CHEERS
BOSSCAT
4
Helpful Resources / Re: "When Parents Hurt"
March 26, 2013, 11:39:30 am
Hi - I live in the uk so have never heard of Joshua Coleman but will
Google the name and see what come up.

Thanks
5
it seems to be a mothers lot that our kids never seem to grow up.   we always
look on them as or babies - no matter what age -  and they seem to look on us
a being -  without feelings. We always have to say and do the right thing - never
getting it wrong - never having our own worries and never getting sick!   Sometimes it's not a good idea to get too involved in our kids lives especially
if they are adults.   I rarely hear from mine - but on the few ocassions he rings
I alwas tell him I have been thinking of him and hownice it is to hear his voice.
Then I just swallow my emotion in the knowledge that if I told him off for not
ringing - he would just go cold.   Good luck and stay strong
6
there is not one emotion that I do not recognise and have not felt so I know exactlyjow itis to be estranged from your child/children.  I was esranged from my son for 7 v.long v.painful years
due tomy ownmother poisoning him against me!  My mother was always v. controlling and manipulative and set each member of the family against the otherand told me when I gave birth to my baby that 'one day I will break you - one day I will take him from you'.  Well she very nearly achieved that as I had a complete breakdown due to the stress.We brought my mother to
live beside us when we retired by which time she had heart failure and there wasnobody to take care of her - so I had to look after the person who had parted me from my son - make a fuss of her  Mothers Day - Birthdays - Christmas etc.,  my belief system also required that I had to forgive.  art of her was sociopathic - part of her wanted to enjoy seeing my pain (which I would never let her see!)  Al these years I left the door open for my son.  i gave up sending him birthday abd Christmas cards  - but I did keep him upto speed about any family matters or anything that I felt he shoud have known - giving him the choice to reply or ignore.  He ignored.  All this time the pain was just awful especially as my mother told me about ecerything that was said about me!!  Al I can say is - be strong - if you have a Faith - then pray - try to keep busy (doing the
ironing was always hard as it set my painful thoughts off)  Try to avoid things that allow your mind to trigger off the pain even if it means just going for a walk.  If you have a true and trusted friend - dont be afraid to talk to them (but not too much!)   Your children are still chidren and the world and all its twists and turns have not touched them yet - so be patient - nobody escapes the painful times that life throws at us and never stop believing that you were/are a good mother - her MOTHER for goodness sake - never top believing that one day when you least expect it she will come back to you.  As for me - my mother never heard or saw my son again once she moved - so she hurt herself - but the minute my mother died and I got word to him - he came back into my life. The pain never totally leaves you and in honesty mymother didn't hol a gun at his head making him listen to her.  He has never soken about it all and that hurts too - but I suspect he has guilt - but I cannot forget.   
Good luck and hold in there.  I keep my fingers crossed that it aill change for you.