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Quote from: NewMama on November 08, 2012, 05:42:44 am
Thanks everyone for the replies. Hearing from other helps me get some perspective.
DH threw me for a loop when he last minute cancelled Thanksgiving on MIL, and I knew she was going to take that out on me. And sure enough she did, telling DH it's ok and then complain to me that we were supposed to come visit and didn't. I used to push him to go when he did stuff like that, but stopped. I think next time he does it I'm going to have to tell him it's making my life miserable and to stop. Whether or not he believes his mother is acting that way remains to be seen.
The Christmas gift thing is interesting, I see different families doing it different ways. My brother has always done the shopping for our family, and SisIL does hers. DH and I used to each buy a gift for everyone, but when DS arrived we were perplexed as to where to put his name on gifts. We decided that instead of each of us buying a gift for someone else, we'd buy 2 or 3 three things and put from NewMama, DH and DS. So he does the gifts for his side now, and I do mine. I still end up with the longer list since my side is bigger, but DH seems way less stressed about Christmas now. He still doesn't get why my FOO buys him gifts, no matter how much I tell him that since he married me, they see him as 'one of us' now. And I see his family the same - they're my family now too, but he doesn't see things that way. He's also not a sentimental guy, and doesn't care for holidays. Part of the reason he doesn't get that bailing on his mom on holidays hurts her feelings.
Quote from: Pooh on November 08, 2012, 10:04:48 am
That did make me think of a question though. For those that leave his FOO to him as far as gift giving, do you do this across the board? Like friends, his AC (if it's a blended family, etc.)