August 13, 2020, 03:51:56 am

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"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


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Messages - MDorCA

1
Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws / Navy son in law
August 20, 2018, 11:48:55 am
My daughter just recently got married by court. It was never the wedding I dreamt for her. Supposedly it was just so that he'd get his pay increase and they could afford a bigger wedding. But now he stays at our house on weekends with her in her room. It's really hard for me because no one out of our home know of them being married and being married intimately. My daughter knew of our values prior and she stated that it was just to be able to afford a formal wedding. His family are very religious and none of them know they're already married.

I have a hard time every time he's here. Both of them literally do nothing but stay in her room the entire weekend. They attend Sunday church with us and there too no one knows their married.

I have suggested she moves with him and does the married life in its entirety, but she and I had planned on working together prior to her marrying him. I feel like they deceived and manipulated us to just be able to be together. Mind you he stays here every weekend, which we thought was just temporary, but it's been 4 months now. She does his laundry here and he enjoys all the amenities my husband and I provided for her. My daughter feels like I'm throwing her out of the house when I suggest she moves with him. I'm not, I just don't want to continue with the games..... I feel disappointed in knowing she probably won't have a wedding. Or if they do his family is spared of all the details of how this all played out. They get to see and hear the fake planning while I sit here seeing/feeling like he's a moocher. I get angry because I feel my daughter compromised our family values for this guy. Financially my husband and I barely make it. I have lost so much trust in her. I feel like they/she manipulated this whole thing. I have a big problem against her. Any suggestions? ??? Obviously I can't talk about this in my own circle. I can't even share this with my husband in fear of possibly adding another to feel as I do.