September 27, 2020, 08:28:25 am

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"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


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Messages - conroemom

1
wow, that sounds like my son to the tee. Since leaving him alone and not starting up the conversations his been bit more mellow now. It's good to hear others having the same issues as me, and I'm starting to feel that maybe this is a norm for growing up sons. Thanks for telling me your story, made me feel better.
2
Makes sense Stilllearning.

I have started pulling away from him. Letting him start conversations and not asking too much questions. Some days are good but most of them are not.
I wish I could crawl into his head and figure out what's wrong. He doesn't have much of a social life. And is always alone. I worry alot about him.
3
Yesterday was my mom's 79th Birthday. That morning I asked him if he would be there (my 20 year old son) he snapped at me anger and said yes. I don't know what I have done to him to treat me like this. Since he turned 14 he has changed and I don't understand why. His very smart and he has some good days (not many) He works hard almost 12+ hours Monday through Friday, he pays rent, 1/2 car insurance and he makes his car payments. His not a bad bad kid. But when it comes to me he treats me like he hates me, and I don't know why. I start questioning myself, what did I do to deserve this from him.

  anyways, at my mom's surprise birthday party I walked in and his sitting on the couch with this anger look. If looks could kill I would have been dead. I try to converse with him asking if he was a drink or cake or if he would like to bowl. he snaps at me and says no. I leave him alone and do my own thing, i noticed he got up and walked to my mom and gave her a hug and he walked passed me, I called out to him 5-6 times and he just kept walking never turning back to look at me. I can't believe he acted like this in front of my entire family.

I was hurt, I started to cry, I texted him and told him that was rude and to do it in front of everyone, he texted me back saying "Oh well."

I know I am a good mom, I have done so much for him to treat me like this, and I don't understand why. Today we have not talked at all, and I simply don't want to interact with him at the moment. I have asked him in the pass what do I do to deserve this kind of treatment, I have asked him in the past why does he hate me so much. (he says he doesn't hate me.) But he doesn't answer why he treats me this way.

At times I feel like doing the same to him, so he feels what I'm feeling but I can't, it's not me. What can I do? How can I bring the sweet 11 year old kid that he was back. We use to be so close and we would do so much together. I know I'm not a bad mother, I've been so good to him. Please help.