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Messages - kaylark

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Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / adult son tells of years of abuse
« on: September 25, 2017, 09:48:18 PM »
Three nights ago my adult son told me about years of mental abuse by his father. We divorced 25 years ago. We divorced because he was physically abusive towards me. There were no signs of physical abuse towards the kids. My daughter stopped seeing her dad at age 12 but her younger brother continued. The dad had one evening per week visitation.
His dad spent years telling my son that I had tried to kill him, the dad. There are stories about my drugging him with my mother's help and then laughing as he lay on the floor struggling for life. There are stories about attacking him with an ax. Stories about cyanide. It goes on.
My son has struggled with depression for years. I have made multiple attempts to get  him into therapy and spent thousands of dollars on therapists. Throughout his childhood I made multiple attempts to find out what was bothering him. He never told me or any therapist.
Now it has all come pouring out. He is filled with hate for me. He feels I should have known and saved him. At the same time he still cannot figure out the truth. He feels his childhood was taken from him. There is no rationality to his accusations. His thinking is confused and emotionally raw.
I am devastated. I called my health provider to find a therapist, one for me, one for my son, again. There is a 3 week waiting list. I am lost. Any advice is welcome.

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