Problem Solving => Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters => Topic started by: strongdeb on August 01, 2018, 12:30:40 pm

Title: My DD has left family
Post by: strongdeb on August 01, 2018, 12:30:40 pm
Hi  Im new to this forum so please bare with me  My dd has left the family  She just sent a text saying do not contact anymore  no one knows why!!!! i have tried to contact her and ask her whats going on but to no avail  Im asking myself what did I do for her to up and act like this?  Im so sad  cry all the time  How do I go on without my DD with me? its like theres a death in the family  Im so glad I found this forum  Thank you so much  Strongdeb 
Title: Re: My DD has left family
Post by: luise.volta on August 03, 2018, 01:51:09 pm
Welcome, S. We ask all new members to go to out HomePage and under Read Me First, to read the posts placed there for you. Please pay special attention the the Forum Agreement to be sure WWU is a fit for you. We are a monitored Website.

What I learned with my son, is that what he did was about him not me. It was quite a revelation and I hated how helpless I felt. He was starting to make his own choices and imagining him learning from them...or not...was horrible for me. I had to grieve and then get past self-pity. There was no other way for me. I nearly got stuck there. I'm so thankful I found my way out of it and learned I wasn't dependent on him for my life to work. I learned, eventually, to create my own peace and joy...but it took a long time. I deserved it and I believe you do, too.

Others may have a different take on this. That's what a Forum is for. I hope you find something here that helps. Hugs...
Title: Re: My DD has left family
Post by: Stilllearning on August 11, 2018, 07:36:22 am
Hi Strongdeb and welcome!  When I first started I used a user name that included my real name.  I have since changed it so that on the off chance that someone in my life reads my posts I can have some deniability.  You might consider this thought too.

I have tried more that once to answer your post, reread it and become dissatisfied with the answer and deleted it.  If you read my previous posts you can get my story and some of my thoughts. I have written about it so much that to me it sounds stale (hence the reread and delete problem).  Anyway a short recap would go like this.... When my DS closed the lines of communication I was desperate.  I constantly called him and texted him (and of course email) trying to figure out how I could 'fix' the situation.  I cried buckets and got to the point where I could not talk about anything else and basically turned into the person you avoid at parties because you know how they will trap you and keep talking and talking about things that you  don't want to talk about.   I don't know how my DH stood it!  He knew I couldn't 'fix' it.  He knew my future DIL was a nutcase (since diagnosed).  He just wanted his wife back.  Heck, I wanted the old me back too!! 

Then I found this website.  The people here said things like "you deserve to enjoy your life" and "your parenting days are over"  and "focus on the good things you have".  They were absolutely right.  If you have the time read my old posts for the full story and if you don't find the time please know that we are all very sympathetic with your current plight.  Drop by anytime and vent more or let us know what worked for you.  You deserve to enjoy your life, I promise!