Each phase or stage of parenthood/family/child development seems to have a name of some sort and typical behavior or expectations. Pregnancy, prenatal, post natal, new parents, terrible twos, f...ing fours, school age, tweens, teens, empty nest. I'm looking for the name of the stage/phase before empty nest where the children are now independent adults who don't need their parents (from their point of view living in the moment) yet beginner adults still living at home with a lot to still learn from the parents perspective of the long term. Is there a name for this phase? Is there a website that discusses this phase, how to communicate, how to maintain ties, etiquette with their girl/boy friends sleeping over. How to recognize the beginning middle or end of it. I would like to learn as much as possible so I can be a productive member of my family keeping it healthy and happy both now and in the future.
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What I learned way too slowly was that my biological role was completed when my children became 'adults'. (I use the term loosely.) It was time for me to keep my wisdom to myself, encourage them to move out and make sure they knew there was no moving back in. That's what my parents did and when my children became parents, that's what they did. Tough love.
It's the beginning of the task of making their own choices and learning from the consequences, or not. I had been there for them with support and answers for so long that my identity was tied up in that and I found it extremely difficult. As a result I went through a lot of denial and self-pity...but/and it worked. They have found their own way and I have found that there is life after parenting. I still see pitfalls and sometimes have a hard time keeping my mouth shut because I have lived longer and am still wiser...or think I am. However, we have become wonderful friends. Now, since I am 91, our roles are starting to reverse. I find that amazing! For instance, my youngest son, 63, is our Webmaster.
We have a category on this Website that contains 'Resources' where you will find recommended books and there's also a vast archive of posts to refer to that are brimming with wisdom and compassion. We've been around for ten years.
Hope this helps.