Some of you may want to check out a diagnosis called "chronic sorrow." I found information online when I was trying to find help getting out of my sadness spiral regarding my disabled adult daughter. Most of the listed symptoms and feelings fit what I had been going through for 30 years.
It then occurred to me that having an adult child who rejects his/her FOO for whatever reason might trigger chronic sorrow for some of us. Perhaps if we can name it and validate it we can better heal from it. Just a thought.