Problem Solving => Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws => Topic started by: farrelly80 on November 13, 2011, 06:36:03 am

Title: Should I try again
Post by: farrelly80 on November 13, 2011, 06:36:03 am
Hi all
I still have had no contact from my son since the birth of his new baby 8 weeks ago. My DH tried to ring him last week but even though he did answer his phone he brushed him off. I think the longer the cut off goes on the harder it will be to reconnect. Should I try texting him to meet me for a chat to try to move things on or just carry on playing the waiting game. What do you wise women think, am I fooling myself there is still a spark of love for his parents left in him or just leave him to it and carry on with my life with DH.
It hasnt worked in the past but maybe with the time passing he misses us?
Oh what to do????
Title: Re: Should I try again
Post by: jdtm on November 13, 2011, 06:53:17 am
This is a "dammed if you do" and "dammed if you don't" situation - at least, I think so.  Have you sent the baby a gift yet?  Something special - like a handmade quilt or sterling silver baby bank or even a unique book (one perhaps of poems, etc.).  If contacting him by phone/email hasn't worked in the past, then there is no reason to believe it will work now.  If you do decide to send a gift, be careful in your signature; - use something like - "Hope everyone is fine - looking forward to seeing the new baby - Love Dad and Mom".

I suspect your son realizes he is hurting you but not to the extent of your pain.  Trying to get him to understand this will not help you - it can be so difficult "pretending" everything is O.K.,but often, I think, that is what we need to do if we have any hope of keeping some relationships.  Not fair ....
Title: Re: Should I try again
Post by: pam1 on November 13, 2011, 10:18:31 am
farrelly, everything I've read said let them come to you --- the more you try to contact them, the longer it takes for them to reconnect back to you.  Basically, I think it has to be their idea or it won't go well.

Title: Re: Should I try again
Post by: lancaster lady on November 13, 2011, 10:28:32 am
hi Farrelly,

The fact that he brushed off your DH just last week means he's not ready .
He now knows that you are keen to see him and are thinking about him ,as you've been in touch .
I agree with Pam , as hard as it is , sending hugs ...
Title: Re: Should I try again
Post by: farrelly80 on November 13, 2011, 10:31:34 am
Thanks for your replies
I do know that its probably best to leave it for now
the waiting is hard
YS doesnt think they will be in touch anytime soon as DIL has got what she wanted and wont want to change anything
Will keep praying and hoping
Thanks again x