Do you ever wonder if anyone really loves you back after all the heart and soul you've given them? I do.
My husband abandoned my twins and I in another state. This was my soulmate, or so I thought. He cleaned out the bank account and moved in with another woman (course, I didn't find that out for another 9 months when I took him back). I waited sobbing and worrying on my sofa overlooking the walkway to the front door of my house for 2 months. I couldn't bathe (I might miss the sight of him walking up to the door), couldn't eat, couldn't function. I wasn't me. My elderly parents (hearing from my daughters) hired and paid my ex husband to come get us and bring us back. My husband had cleaned out the bank account so we had nothing to eat. We and our dog ate rice. I sold the baby grand player piano to get some food, uhauls, packing supplies, and come back – NORTH. I can't stand this weather here! Maybe it has something to do with being born in Florida, I don't know, but I could never get used to this. Here I am.
My son had problems in his marriage too. My DIL made it very hard for me to stay in contact with them. Things didn't work out and my son moved back in with me. Now they're trying to get back together (I think). She comes and picks him up for visits (he's disabled). Every time she comes we have a fight – that night or the very next day. Today he accused my 91 year old father of opening his mail (she saw my son yesterday). I try not to hate her, I really do. I look for positive things about her! If she is his choice, then I'm stuck and there's nothing I can do but work on being her mother also and loving her. Chickie, my son is her clone. He talks like a duck, walks like a duck and even ducks like a duck. They lie and use all of us.
You know about my oldest daughter. It was my first posting here.
So, I'm left wondering... Does anyone really love us back? The next question - what is love? Maybe my definition is not the same...
Yes I hope tomorrow's better. I've seen better and worse. I know it will get better. There's just so much!
My father has alzheimers, my mother has (what's the other one?). I just don't know right now. It's a bad bad day, but thank you for your kind words. That meant a lot to me right now.
I'm having a bad day. I haven't thought about all this for so long - I've been busy until now. I think I need to get busier.
Dear Coco,
You have every right to have a bad day! For goodness sake...you've been through it, royally through it.
I always wonder if anyone really loves us. I do. It seems that people are only wanted what they want, without regard for others. You're too sweet not to love...so I know you have plenty of people who care deeply for you. It's just hard these days to show it because they're so absorbed in themselves.
Stay strong and know we love you, Coco. We do :)
Thinking of you - I'm sorry you're having a bad day.
I do wonder about this sometimes, too. It's so difficult. I don't think any of us expected this treatment from our children.
Chickie, thank you. I know I'm going to have these. That was the short and simple version of what's been driving me crazy! I haven't posted, because I just don't know what to say? I guess I'm still in shock?
Penstamen thank you too. I never thought this of my son. Believe it or not, my post (explanation) was short and I cut alot of things out - just crying, not thinking. I take care of my parents and their property. I am the executor when that time comes. My father didn't deserve the accusation. He just took the mail and it was taped closed. My son threatened (to me in private) that he was going to call the police, which was pretty silly, but that did it. I told him that he may be my son, but that was my father and I wasn't having any part of this! Long story short - nuther fight. I think my DIL plants things in his head when she's around. He loves her so much he just sucks it all in like sponge. Her mother was an alcolholic, she was adopted, her father is married (4th time) to someone younger than her.
I'm just screwed...
I'm on overload. I think my brain is shorting out!
Bad days are the pits. When I get one, my focus and perceptions take me to the darkest of places and when others have one I want a magic wand. I really do. I want to reach out and ping you all better!
Dear Luise,
Would you please get one of those? Please! I would fly myself there so you could 'wand' me. See what you can do. :)
Coco, those bad days are the pits...they really really take you down...I hope with the new day coming, you'll be feeling some what better...
this is no consulation, but they always say, we hurt the ones we love the most....like Sassy told me, I'm sure your son loves you...he does...
hugs and sending good thoughts your way...
I live up North here to...always wanted to move south, even as a child, I hated the cold, and going out to play in it...
Hugs....
Creme
Luise, if you ever get that wand, please let me know where and how much it costs. I'll start saving now... Yes, bad days do put you in a dark place and they're the pits. I've thought the exact same thing about that wand. It would solve so much heartache if I could just "ping" the problems away... Like "I dream of Jeanie" or "Bewitched." I know I'm going to have these days. There's a lot on my plate and nobody to help me with it. It's been 3 years since my husband did that. I thought I was over it. I guess I never will be. I know I'll never take him back, and he's tried. He knows I loved him blindly (and now I do too). I learned to love me enough not to let him have a third chance. I know that's a hard hearted thing because you're supposed to forgive and forget, but I would be dead by now if I followed that. Sometimes you just have to look at what the person you love is doing to you, even if that's the only person in the world you can see in your view.
Chickie, Crème thank you for saying such sweet and supportive things. Today is a little better, and tomorrow will be better... I don't know what to think of my son. I've talked to him about my parents. They are on their way out and (even at their ages) have invited us into their home to live. How many other parents do that with GROWN children – AND their children! We are here for them just as they were there for us when we had a need. Right now they NEED us to take care of things here. This is their time, not ours. We can have our time after they're gone and be as selfish as we want! When I first moved back up here they (parents) wanted me to come stay at their house. I refused to do it, saying I would live on the street before that happened. They are too old to be taking us in here (I was a housewife – no job). After seeing the condition of their gardens which were full of weeds and grass (my father was an avid gardener and his yard and gardens were immaculate), I took them up on it. After I had been here a few months my father was worried I would leave, so I promised him I would stay until they were both gone. Where was I going to go anyway? So one hand washes the other. They helped me and it's just my turn. My parents are very generous with money. My father will walk up to me with a fist full of $100's and ask me if I'm low on money. I've talked to him about doing that. Even if he has it to offer people, he just can't go around doing that, and my brother has told me he's done it with him too. I absolutely turn him down, but I know he has probably done the same with my son (I talked to him about that too). My son is most likely handing it to his ex (?not sure what to call her). The reasons why they shouldn't be given hand out's is a whole other story, but they WILL come back for more and then more... My father was an officer in the Navy (retired), then retired from the government (Pentagon), then retired from chief of security at a well known hospital here (I'm in the DC area – not DC itself). Anyway, his retirement is great but he can't let some people know or they will drain him. There are a couple of people in the family who can't know. I hate it, but my son is one of them.
Enough rambling, I could keep boring you all day with this stuff. Just know that I'm very grateful to have some wonderful ears listening and supporting me. I don't know who else to talk to. I don't date and I don't really go any where when I'm not working. I'm happy I found this site! It's like a lifeline. Not only because I have support and "warm fuzzies," but because I get to give back too! I really believe giving back helps people. It does me.
It's funny, I don't know anyone's religious views (mine are sort a combination of many different religions). Anyway the saying "God works in mysterious ways," and "good things are created from bad things." I thought about this so much yesterday and it hit me. My parents were living like this and nobody knew it until I moved back here. It took that horrible thing to happen to me, but now they have help. AND THEY DESERVE IT! They have been kind and generous all my life. If nobody else was looking, then I guess God MADE me look!
So love means caring about people and helping them when they need it, like you're doing, Coco and Luise. (It doesn't mean enabling those who could be out taking care of themselves but choose not to, but that's another topic.)
How many DILs will support our DSs being kind to us in our old age when we might need help? I know some of you say it's the new "me generation" but my stepmother let her mother rot in a substandard nursing home and she certainly isn't young! I think some people are just selfish, no matter what decade they were born in.
Quote from: cocobars on January 27, 2010, 06:13:46 AM
Luise, if you ever get that wand, please let me know where and how much it costs. I'll start saving now... Yes, bad days do put you in a dark place and they're the pits. I've thought the exact same thing about that wand. It would solve so much heartache if I could just "ping" the problems away... Like "I dream of Jeanie" or "Bewitched." I know I'm going to have these days. There's a lot on my plate and nobody to help me with it. It's been 3 years since my husband did that. I thought I was over it. I guess I never will be. I know I'll never take him back, and he's tried. He knows I loved him blindly (and now I do too). I learned to love me enough not to let him have a third chance. I know that's a hard hearted thing because you're supposed to forgive and forget, but I would be dead by now if I followed that. Sometimes you just have to look at what the person you love is doing to you, even if that's the only person in the world you can see in your view.
Chickie, Crème thank you for saying such sweet and supportive things. Today is a little better, and tomorrow will be better... I don't know what to think of my son. I've talked to him about my parents. They are on their way out and (even at their ages) have invited us into their home to live. How many other parents do that with GROWN children – AND their children! We are here for them just as they were there for us when we had a need. Right now they NEED us to take care of things here. This is their time, not ours. We can have our time after they're gone and be as selfish as we want! When I first moved back up here they (parents) wanted me to come stay at their house. I refused to do it, saying I would live on the street before that happened. They are too old to be taking us in here (I was a housewife – no job). After seeing the condition of their gardens which were full of weeds and grass (my father was an avid gardener and his yard and gardens were immaculate), I took them up on it. After I had been here a few months my father was worried I would leave, so I promised him I would stay until they were both gone. Where was I going to go anyway? So one hand washes the other. They helped me and it's just my turn. My parents are very generous with money. My father will walk up to me with a fist full of $100's and ask me if I'm low on money. I've talked to him about doing that. Even if he has it to offer people, he just can't go around doing that, and my brother has told me he's done it with him too. I absolutely turn him down, but I know he has probably done the same with my son (I talked to him about that too). My son is most likely handing it to his ex (?not sure what to call her). The reasons why they shouldn't be given hand out's is a whole other story, but they WILL come back for more and then more... My father was an officer in the Navy (retired), then retired from the government (Pentagon), then retired from chief of security at a well known hospital here (I'm in the DC area – not DC itself). Anyway, his retirement is great but he can't let some people know or they will drain him. There are a couple of people in the family who can't know. I hate it, but my son is one of them.
Enough rambling, I could keep boring you all day with this stuff. Just know that I'm very grateful to have some wonderful ears listening and supporting me. I don't know who else to talk to. I don't date and I don't really go any where when I'm not working. I'm happy I found this site! It's like a lifeline. Not only because I have support and "warm fuzzies," but because I get to give back too! I really believe giving back helps people. It does me.
It's funny, I don't know anyone's religious views (mine are sort a combination of many different religions). Anyway the saying "God works in mysterious ways," and "good things are created from bad things." I thought about this so much yesterday and it hit me. My parents were living like this and nobody knew it until I moved back here. It took that horrible thing to happen to me, but now they have help. AND THEY DESERVE IT! They have been kind and generous all my life. If nobody else was looking, then I guess God MADE me look!
LOL, there is also a saying which says, "We've got to meet God Half way...
God gives us life, he puts us here and gives us the gift of free will, to do with our lives as we so choose, and most of the bad, not all, but most, are the products of our choices....so, we need to really work at things to make them right, and there is much to be said, for living our lives according to the 10 commandments...plus karma, what you give you will recieve...
I have practiced several religions in my lifetime...out of curiosity...was once a Sunday School Teacher and a Youth Group Advisor....and now, prefer to not practice organized religion, just not into it any longer....however, I do believe.
I'm so gald to see you in there this morning, thank you for coming back and letting us know how you are.
Hugs
Creme
Oh penstamen, you hit a nerve there! My ex DH put his mother in one of those nursing homes and she got depressed and lasted about three years. I was sooo upset with him! She was my best friend and she introduced us. Encouraged him to ask me out and even though I turned him down at first, she kept on him! HA!
I begged him to let me take care of her. His mind was made up though and when she went in there, he and his brothers (DIL's, etc.) went into her house, cleared it and sold it. She didn't even know she was never coming out! I was so upset with him! But, I was the ex and didn't really have a say. I went to see her in the hospital. Took her flowers from my gardens... I didn't have the heart to tell her anything though. She passed not knowing she didn't have a home anymore.
Coco, that is so sad! I can tell you that from the way the girls talk today it's this kind of thought: "I don't owe them anything. They need to take care of themselves. I have my life to lead. They'd better not be depending on us to care for the old bats, we're not."
Okay, I've got to stop this right now. I am getting so mean that I'm scaring Chickie. >:( She doesn't even like me today. :-X
Somebody needs to slap me. Please don't hurt me, I'm very sensitive. Slap me real light, in fact, try to pretend you're slapping me and don't really hit me. Kind of an air slap. :'(
Okay! Here goes chickie! SLAP SLAP!
Are you ok?
OUCH!! That hurt! But, I do feel sweet now. Thank you, Coco~!! ;D
The wish to "ping" is greatly appreciated. So much of what we are struggling with is cold hearted, not caring and selfish behavior - the very qualities we tried so hard to teach our children not to immolate or tolerate.
Quote from: cremebrulee on January 27, 2010, 06:53:48 AM
LOL, there is also a saying which says, "We've got to meet God Half way...
God gives us life, he puts us here and gives us the gift of free will, to do with our lives as we so choose, and most of the bad, not all, but most, are the products of our choices....so, we need to really work at things to make them right, and there is much to be said, for living our lives according to the 10 commandments...plus karma, what you give you will recieve...
I have practiced several religions in my lifetime...out of curiosity...was once a Sunday School Teacher and a Youth Group Advisor....and now, prefer to not practice organized religion, just not into it any longer....however, I do believe.
I'm so gald to see you in there this morning, thank you for coming back and letting us know how you are.
Hugs
Creme
Karma! I must have been REEL BAD in my past life! LOL!
Quote from: carolina gal on January 27, 2010, 08:00:20 AM
The wish to "ping" is greatly appreciated. So much of what we are struggling with is cold hearted, not caring and selfish behavior - the very qualities we tried so hard to teach our children not to immolate or tolerate.
By the way, I love your signature! So true...
Oh, I GOt it! Here I go! Feel that? I'm e-pinging!!!
WOW! I really felt that! How'd you do dat?
LOL, I felt it to????? :o
Just went back in on this thread and re-read. I am happy to be here in this safe place with so many wonderful women trying to love and understand me! Just my thoughts...
I like Luise's idea of that magic wand! It's much better than a slap. Kind of like sending out loving thoughts! Chickie, I think I am going to try to "ping" you instead of slap you after this. It's much more compassionate, and you will know you're loved. Plus, there's no sting afterwards! LOL!
Ping...ping-ping-ping! Oh, this is so much fun!!! ;D
Luise, the fairy godmother came through again!
I've lost 15 pounds and have a beautiful pink dress on! Where'd she go???
Oh Anna, thank you! Yes I am much better, and to be honest, The way everyone here "held me up" rushed the healing process (if that's what you call it when you're depressed and feeling sorry for yourself)! This has really proven to be a lifeline for me. There are some wonderful caring people here. I didn't lie to Postscript last night when I said she would be loved "for who she is" here.
We all have so much heartache in this group. It's so healing to find that acceptance. It's truly unconditional love. We have a real special group to offer that!
I'm happy your FDIL is that way. You might want to let her read some of these posts, especially this one and Luise's when she talks about her husband. It's important (I believe) for younger people to understand that they may be the same way. I think it was Chickie that pointed out in one of her posts that the body ages, but your heart and your mind don't do that. If more young people could close their eyes and imagine that elderly man or woman in a younger body, and being discarded by society and their own families... It's so sad. I'm just happy for you that you have someone like her coming in! I know you are too!
Take care!
P.S.- Do you think perhaps the FDIL will be a positive influence on the DIL you have? Where's Luise - "ping!"
I agree with cocobars. Anna, Your FDIL sounds great and like the DIL you deserve!
Anna, I'm so happy for you! :)
Me to Anna, such joyous news....
sworn to secrecy hmmmmmm
boy that is an awful thing to say to a woman....
Now I'm not going to be able to sleep!!! :'(
Quote from: Anna on January 28, 2010, 10:24:36 AM
Don't cry Creme, I'm practically bursting, & it's sooo hard to keep happy news to myself !!! I'll tell you as soon as I can !! I promise !!
(Looking down at floor very sadly) ohhhh all right....
Anna, you know we like good news here. You'll have all of us unable to sleep!
I have some guesses, but don't want to make you feel bad if I'm wrong! OH, ok... Nope, I'm not going to guess! I'm with creme!
Creme, you tie her up and I'll start tickling until she gives!!!! :D
QuoteSo, I'm left wondering... Does anyone really love us back? The next question - what is love? Maybe my definition is not the same...
Hey, you are not alone cocobars. I haven't spoken to my son/his wife in over four years. Never seen their child either. Ended all communication with a couple of terribly cruel sisters about this time, too. You see, I once took it. Thought it was mandatory. That I take their cruel remarks, their insensitive comments and their totally rude behavior. I thought it was my birthright being the middle kid.
As I post, the end of my 26 year marriage is looming large. I cannot stay with someone who abuses me emotionally, verbally and now here's a new twist: economically. I have been a stay at home and DO IT ALL mom for our entire marriage. I tried working but he took the car away and refused to do his share. It wasn't easy. I had to stop.
But all in all I am NOT going to let their failings as humans get me down. I am even more than motivated to get my life going and not look back. I have no regrets.
I can only offer sympathy and remind you to be good to yourself. This is the time when you can love you and pretty much enjoy it!!!
Don't let them get to you! They are not worth it.
Anna,
Am eager to hear the good news!!!
Quote from: HappyDays09 on January 28, 2010, 01:39:35 PM
QuoteSo, I'm left wondering... Does anyone really love us back? The next question - what is love? Maybe my definition is not the same...
Hey, you are not alone cocobars. I haven't spoken to my son/his wife in over four years. Never seen their child either. Ended all communication with a couple of terribly cruel sisters about this time, too. You see, I once took it. Thought it was mandatory. That I take their cruel remarks, their insensitive comments and their totally rude behavior. I thought it was my birthright being the middle kid.
As I post, the end of my 26 year marriage is looming large. I cannot stay with someone who abuses me emotionally, verbally and now here's a new twist: economically. I have been a stay at home and DO IT ALL mom for our entire marriage. I tried working but he took the car away and refused to do his share. It wasn't easy. I had to stop.
But all in all I am NOT going to let their failings as humans get me down. I am even more than motivated to get my life going and not look back. I have no regrets.
I can only offer sympathy and remind you to be good to yourself. This is the time when you can love you and pretty much enjoy it!!!
Don't let them get to you! They are not worth it.
OMG! Are you ok happy? I hope things work out for you there! I'm going to keep you in my thoughts and heart! You must be hurting!
I really am good to myself. I love "me" enough to see what is happening around me now. I didn't before. I hope you take care of yourself. I also hope you will put your feelings in your own post so that you can get the support you need! Everybody here cares for eachother. That is what makes us all special!
You are part of that. Don't you forget it! Come back and post, and keep posting. We all hurt and we are all here. I'm happy you are here and I hope you reach out. I know things are hard when those things happen! You have to reach, sometimes farther than you thought your arms could! Keep reaching.
You have found the most loving women here to support you!
We love you and we're here!~ At the click of a mouse...
Quote from: Carolina Gal on January 28, 2010, 04:45:56 PM
Anna,
Am eager to hear the good news!!!
Hi Carolina! I'm waiting for Luise to come through with her "truth" wand! That should do it!
hehehehehe!
Whoosh! I'm back. Oh, and I LOVE secrets! How long do we have to wait???
Happy Days: good for you! "Being married is supposed to be better than being single, or what's the point?" (Old saying I just made up.)
Big PINGS! ;D
Clock is ticking... :-X
QuoteOMG! Are you ok happy? I hope things work out for you there! I'm going to keep you in my thoughts and heart! You must be hurting!
Thanks so much!! I see many many similarities between dils with narcissistic personality disorder and my dh. I am sorry that I chose to close my eyes to it for so long.
He isn't complaining, so I feel I need to get my life in gear and get out. It may take some time being out of work for over 26 years, but I gotta try!!
I discovered his NPD while reading about some dils!
I am so very sorry, Happy. If I was there, I'd help you in any way I could. My heart just breaks for you. I'm so glad you're getting out now, though!!
Love you
Happy, I understand the "being out of work." I was in the same situation when I moved back up here after giving up on my husband (although the situation was different). I've tried several things. I worked for a temp agency who placed me at a builders site. They liked me and I liked them, so they offered me a job. I did very well selling new homes. So well, they put me at their largest and most high profile site in the area. I set it up and organized it and LOVED the job! It was so much fun and I love people so it was perfect. Another woman and I were middle-aged, and we both noticed that they weren't paying us the way they were paying the younger girls there. She left and got her real estate license - I followed. I loved real estate, but got in at a bad time. Had to quit because I couldn't afford the fee's and it takes about 3 years to get your name out there and start making money. I just didn't have the money or time to wait. Now I'm temping in offices. There is an age discrimination out there. Not with every company, but most. The younger girls get jealous if you do well and the "boss" starts giving you special projects to work on. It's like being around a room full of DIL's all trying to get at you.
I know that's an awful story, but I'm with a company now that is very kind (God said it was my turn I guess). I think if you haven't worked for awhile the temp agencies will give you lots of experience in different areas. They will make you take a skill test on the computer, so brush up on your computer skills if you need to. Another positive note about temp agencies is that you get to try out alot of different work atmospheres. This gives you some different considerations (just in case you are not sure what you're interested in). The money isn't good with a temp agency, so that's a drawback. Just weigh the pro's and con's and you'll decide what to do. In the meantime don't hesitate to shoot me a note. I will be happy to give you some advice in that department. If that's not the way you want to go, there are enough women here to give you some more ideas!
Isn't this place nice!! Where's Luise and that wand of hers! You need a ping!!
Here I am! Here I am! Ping! Pop! Pow!
My sort-of, soon-to-be ex- SIL (very complex but if you want to know, I'll explain)...is trying to get back into the work force and feels the same way about temp agencies. Sees them as a good place to get his feet wet and shop around.
Well, what the heck..he was married to my son's ex. I kept her as my DIL after they split and for the last 15 years, he has been part of the family as well, (and always will be.) He was her Guy-Friday when she owned a technical recruiting company but that was before she was rear-ended by an 18 wheeler and sustained permanent brain damage. The business went under and so did the marriage. I am not kidding. It sounds like a home-grown soap, doesn't it? Oh, well...that's true of a lot of us!
"soon to be ex-SIL?" I'm so sorry about her accident, Luise!! So sad.
I need pinging...really, someone gave me 2 plusses and I want to thank them, whoever they are. I'm getting more even now. :'(
Pssst! Danger, Poison!!!
It's ok Chickie! She will come through again and ping!
In the meantime, let me try this home-made wand and see if it works. I'm sure it won't work as good as hers, but maybe it will just make you smile!
Here goes! Ping, Ping, Pssshhhht! Oops I forgot I was supposed to ping, wasn't I?
BIG PING!!!!!!!!! ;D
C/B - Pluses are a variety of pinging! 8)
My ADIL (always-daughter in-law) was hit two years ago. It took that long for the marriage to go under. The business went very soon...when her memory failed her. She's a wonderful person. The insurance claim/legal case has yet to be settled. Now, I have an ASIL (always son in law.)
We are all still close and they all come to family gatherings...including my son's present sweetie and my ex and his wife. (We are a clan of very slow learners but at least we don't hold grudges! ;D )
I'm not surprised. Your warmth comes out in your writing. We don't really have to meet you in person, or hear your voice to see and feel it.
I have to say this, and I mean it in the best way! But Luise, going by your picture I could REALLY see you holding a wand and pinging like a fairy godmother!
Chickie, I wish you had a picture so I could put you with it! You know how you have these pictures in your mind that you imagine people look like?
Ping, Pshht, Ping Psssssht PING!!!!
That is a wonderful group you have, Luise...ex's and ex-inlaws....LORD~~!
Anyway, good for you for being so open hearted and young at heart! 8)
Okay, tell me what you think I look like...who I resemble in the entertainment field.
Let's see... Green eyes, blonde hair. Good sense of humor - slap happy at times. Goldie Hawn...
I'm probably wrong. You tell me...
QuoteI think if you haven't worked for awhile the temp agencies will give you lots of experience in different areas.
Hey thanks coco! That is a great idea. I have been handing out resumes and filling out applications like crazy. It is tough when the competition is younger, smarter, and there's younger! LOL.
Temp agencies are next!
Luise I hope everything works out for your soon to be ex sil. Hope I got that right. :)
Quote from: HappyDays09 on January 29, 2010, 04:41:52 PM
QuoteI think if you haven't worked for awhile the temp agencies will give you lots of experience in different areas.
Hey thanks coco! That is a great idea. I have been handing out resumes and filling out applications like crazy. It is tough when the competition is younger, smarter, and there's younger! LOL.
Temp agencies are next!
Luise I hope everything works out for your soon to be ex sil. Hope I got that right. :)
LOL! I understand Happy! I wore myself out handing out resumes. I have a friend who told me it was because of my age that I wasn't being hired. So next stop - temp agencies... It will also help build an impressive resume (or dress up the one you have). They sent me to a government agency who even paid for a secret security clearance. Those are time consuming and expensive, but they do wonders for your resume. I had written about the job in my first posting, but went back and edited it out so I wouldn't get in trouble. I gave too many details for the internet. I've been offered jobs since then, but I'm holding out still for that job I "know" I will be able to retire from. I have to really like it.
Three years ago I was in the same position you are in. You keep plugging. I would like to give you some positive comparisons; Our age -
We don't call in because the kids are sick
We don't call in because they are out of school.
We show up on time and usually are very honest about our hours
We are honest about the time spent of work
We don't sit at our desks and do our make-up and lipstick
When the boss gives us 30 minutes for lunch - that's all we take!
On Happy, those are just a few. I could go on.
I hope all goes well for you! And I think it will!
C/B - Pluses are Pings! ;D