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Problem Solving => Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters => Topic started by: greeneyes100 on December 30, 2009, 04:00:25 am

Title: TOGETHER WE CAN RAISE OUR SELF ESTEEM
Post by: greeneyes100 on December 30, 2009, 04:00:25 am
Time for some postive imput girls. How can we change our lives. How can we have great self esteem???? It is time to stop the abuse. It is time to take back our power.  The old sayng is    When the going gets tough the tough get going. Do you agree it is time to make the change, to make yourself count. Enough is enough. We dont have to become angry or resentful, just loving ourselves, caring for ourselves and letting our love ones know what we will accept and what we will not accept. When we do we must stand by our words and then we will earn the respect we want and deserve even if it takes a long time to get from those we love, if we dont we will respect ourselves which is more important. Once the decisioin is made you will feel so much better about youself. I know because that is where I am...looking for your imput   D
Title: Re: TOGETHER WE CAN RAISE OUR SELF ESTEEM
Post by: 2chickiebaby on December 30, 2009, 04:19:38 am
okay...
Title: Re: TOGETHER WE CAN RAISE OUR SELF ESTEEM
Post by: greeneyes100 on December 30, 2009, 05:21:48 am
what do mean by okay
Title: Re: TOGETHER WE CAN RAISE OUR SELF ESTEEM
Post by: 2chickiebaby on December 30, 2009, 05:29:20 am
I meant, Okay....we need to be more positive and stronger like you said...
Title: Re: TOGETHER WE CAN RAISE OUR SELF ESTEEM
Post by: greeneyes100 on December 30, 2009, 05:41:23 am
please I am not trying to be smart, I am 61 years of age with 4 children and 10 grandchildren. Believe me if we do not honour,care and love ourselves we will always accept being abused. I have to be honest I do not accept that any more from my children or others. I came to this forum with a question, I read what was said and I took action,because I wanted a better way of dealing with my problems,which I found on this site, it was a good sounding board which I needed to clear my thoughts, my mind and now I am dealing with my children and DILs the only way that is good for Me. I can only speak for myself. I have distanced myself from all that have taken advantage,abused,belittled,disrespected so that I can have a more peaceful life. Because I care about my life and I care about me.  D
Title: Re: TOGETHER WE CAN RAISE OUR SELF ESTEEM
Post by: 2chickiebaby on December 30, 2009, 05:47:25 am
Greeneyes,
I know you're not being smart....I agree with you!!  We need to focus on ourselves more.  So sorry if what I said came out wrong...!!!  I'm with you :)
Title: Re: TOGETHER WE CAN RAISE OUR SELF ESTEEM
Post by: greeneyes100 on December 30, 2009, 05:55:14 am
thanks, I truly appreciate your reply. What I have learnt is to only allow yourself a small amount of time per day to concentrate on the problems in your life. I set a time say 3.30pm until 4pm to think about my personal probs. then I get on with my life. I have spent more time on this site LOL because I can see some people are so stuck on their problems and not getting on with living. does that make sense? that is why I asked about goals for 2010. that is why I mentioned self esteem. we have to keep living with all or any problems that will come up in our lives, we can not only just concentrate on them otherwise we are not living a full life.
Title: Re: TOGETHER WE CAN RAISE OUR SELF ESTEEM
Post by: 2chickiebaby on December 30, 2009, 06:05:11 am
I understand...and you're right.  I guess I need help on how to begin.  Thank you!!!!

Ask Jenny, she'll know the answers. :)
Title: Re: TOGETHER WE CAN RAISE OUR SELF ESTEEM
Post by: just2baccepted on December 30, 2009, 11:40:03 am
Quote from: greeneyes100 on December 30, 2009, 05:41:23 am
please I am not trying to be smart, I am 61 years of age with 4 children and 10 grandchildren. Believe me if we do not honour,care and love ourselves we will always accept being abused. I have to be honest I do not accept that any more from my children or others. I came to this forum with a question, I read what was said and I took action,because I wanted a better way of dealing with my problems,which I found on this site, it was a good sounding board which I needed to clear my thoughts, my mind and now I am dealing with my children and DILs the only way that is good for Me. I can only speak for myself. I have distanced myself from all that have taken advantage,abused,belittled,disrespected so that I can have a more peaceful life. Because I care about my life and I care about me.  D


Greeneyes I'm so impressed with you b/c you do want to feel better.  Me too.  It sounds to me as though you are really trying and putting forth much effort to change your situation or your feelings.  I think when we're in such a situation as ours the only thing we can do is work on ourselves so that we are the ones who can feel better.  I know I have given my MIL/FIL too much power over my own self esteem b/c I knew that they don't approve of me.  But I realized the only people I have to impress are God, myself, and my DH.   I try not to cuss but I've found myself saying at least once a day "who gives a flying flip what MIL/FIL think about me!!!!!"  It feels good to say it!
Title: Re: TOGETHER WE CAN RAISE OUR SELF ESTEEM
Post by: greeneyes100 on December 30, 2009, 03:34:46 pm
Wishing every one a peaceful, loving New Year
Title: Re: TOGETHER WE CAN RAISE OUR SELF ESTEEM
Post by: 2chickiebaby on December 30, 2009, 04:41:18 pm
you too, Greeneyes...(I have green eyes too!)  hoping your new year will be blessed with peace.  :)
Title: Re: TOGETHER WE CAN RAISE OUR SELF ESTEEM
Post by: mom2 on December 30, 2009, 07:56:04 pm
Quote from: just2baccepted on December 30, 2009, 11:40:03 am
Quote from: greeneyes100 on December 30, 2009, 05:41:23 am
please I am not trying to be smart, I am 61 years of age with 4 children and 10 grandchildren. Believe me if we do not honour,care and love ourselves we will always accept being abused. I have to be honest I do not accept that any more from my children or others. I came to this forum with a question, I read what was said and I took action,because I wanted a better way of dealing with my problems,which I found on this site, it was a good sounding board which I needed to clear my thoughts, my mind and now I am dealing with my children and DILs the only way that is good for Me. I can only speak for myself. I have distanced myself from all that have taken advantage,abused,belittled,disrespected so that I can have a more peaceful life. Because I care about my life and I care about me.  D


Greeneyes I'm so impressed with you b/c you do want to feel better.  Me too.  It sounds to me as though you are really trying and putting forth much effort to change your situation or your feelings.  I think when we're in such a situation as ours the only thing we can do is work on ourselves so that we are the ones who can feel better.  I know I have given my MIL/FIL too much power over my own self esteem b/c I knew that they don't approve of me.  But I realized the only people I have to impress are God, myself, and my DH.   I try not to cuss but I've found myself saying at least once a day "who gives a flying flip what MIL/F!!!!!"  It feels good to say it!
[

Just2b and greeneyes,
I'm with ya both ! I am sick of being used, abused and walked on.. no more crying and begging for me.
This is a new year and I am gonna be kind to myself this time around !! plus " who gives a flying flip what my son and dil think of me !!!! ( I love it j2b ) and it does feel good to say it !.. by the way.. my eyes are green too !! Happy new years Ladies !!!!
Title: Re: TOGETHER WE CAN RAISE OUR SELF ESTEEM
Post by: greeneyes100 on December 30, 2009, 08:38:22 pm
there is a saying by positive thinking people
WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF YOU IT IS NONE OF YOUR  BUSINESS
another
YOU CAN PLEASE SOME OF THE PEOPLE SOME OF THE TIME BUT NOT ALL OF THE PEOPLE ALL OF THE TIME
another
WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH THE TOUGH GET GOING
Title: Re: TOGETHER WE CAN RAISE OUR SELF ESTEEM
Post by: greeneyes100 on January 01, 2010, 01:51:23 am
Look for the good in life and appreciate the small things,take time to smell the roses
Title: Re: TOGETHER WE CAN RAISE OUR SELF ESTEEM
Post by: mom2 on January 01, 2010, 07:55:22 pm
Greeneyes,
I think you are so right on !!
I love my kids as much as the next mom but don't want to be their punching bag anymore !!! I think I have already accomplished this though. I told my ds/dil, that rather than being treated with disrespect I would prefer not to see them anymore ( them... him too ) I've had it ! 
I don't get the disrespect and arguing anymore.. I don't see them very often but there is peace so it's okay by me.

I'm with ya  green.
Title: Re: TOGETHER WE CAN RAISE OUR SELF ESTEEM
Post by: greeneyes100 on January 01, 2010, 08:18:59 pm
Hi MOM2  yes life is more peaceful. I do not need the put downs,blackmailing,this way I have a say in what I want,it is a hard decision,but when made a form of relief comes over.
Title: Re: TOGETHER WE CAN RAISE OUR SELF ESTEEM
Post by: Peace on January 02, 2010, 10:46:47 pm
Hope you ladies enjoy this poem that was given to me when I felt so down myself.  It helped me pick myself up and move forward.....tell me what you think, pro or con?

CHANGE BEGINS WITH CHOICE
Any day we wish; we can discipline ourselves to change it all.  Any day we wish; we can open the book that will open our mind to new knowledge.  Any day we wish; we can start a new activity.  Any day we wish; we can start the process of life change.  We can do it immediately, or next week, or next month, or next year.
We can also no nothing.  We can pretend rather than perform.  And if the idea of having to change ourselves makes us uncomfortable, we can remain as we are.  We can choose rest over labor, entertainment over education, delusion over truth, and doubt over confidence.  The choices are ours to make.  But while we curse the effect, we continue to nourish the cause.  As Shakespeare uniquely observed, ââ,¬Å"The fault is not in the stars, but in ourselves.ââ,¬Â  We created our circumstances by our past choices.
We have both the ability and the responsibility to make better choices beginning today.  Those who are in search of the good life do not need more answers or more time to think things over to reach better conclusions.  They need the truth.  They need the whole truth.  And they need nothing but the truth.
We cannot allow our errors in judgment, repeated every day, to lead us down the wrong path.  We must keep coming back to those basics that make the biggest difference in how life works out.  And then we must make the very choices that will bring life, happiness and joy into our daily lives.
And if I may be so bold to offer my last piece of advice for someone seeking and needing to make changes in their life ââ,¬â€œ I your donââ,¬â,,¢t like how things are, change it!  You are not a tree.  You have the ability to totally transform every area in your life ââ,¬â€œ and it all begins with your very own power of choice.
--Jim Rohn

If you feel like you are in pit, there are things people do that does not work.  They look down to see how deep they are or they look around to see how ugly it is. Instead look up!  Pray and be patient!  God sees your heart and he will answer your prayer in His due time ââ,¬â€œ but He is looking at your heart! 

Title: Re: TOGETHER WE CAN RAISE OUR SELF ESTEEM
Post by: greeneyes100 on January 02, 2010, 11:14:37 pm
How true. It is the choices we make in life. If we follow the same road that is where we will end up.  That is why I said I only alow myself a certain amount of time to worry about a problem. That is a choice. I chose happines and contentment.

THANKS FOR SHARING  PEACE   IT IS GREAT
Title: Re: TOGETHER WE CAN RAISE OUR SELF ESTEEM
Post by: cocobars on January 03, 2010, 07:37:09 am
This is ultimately what we are all wanting here.  Better self esteem and awareness equals love and good feelings all the way around!  We have to learn to value ourselves before anyone else will see that value.  What a thought!  We can make that happen with work and support!

By the way, I have green eyes too.  Light green that are mistaken for blue!  HA!  Mine have a black circle around the iris which makes them look sort of piercing.  My DH used to say he couldn't look in my eyes when he first met me.  I just though he was bashful!  LOL!
Title: Re: TOGETHER WE CAN RAISE OUR SELF ESTEEM
Post by: 2chickiebaby on January 03, 2010, 07:41:45 am
I want to apologize to everyone.  Need to focus on us here and learn to grow where we are and it doesn't matter what others think.   Venturing off here is not a solution for us.

Coco, I'll bet your eyes are so pretty.  I think mine are pretty too, though darker green than yours.  I'm a green eyed blonde. 
Title: Re: TOGETHER WE CAN RAISE OUR SELF ESTEEM
Post by: cremebrulee on January 03, 2010, 08:39:00 am
Peace, thank you, that was a fantastic and profound way of looking at things...I'm glad your here and you shared this upbeat poem...

Title: Re: TOGETHER WE CAN RAISE OUR SELF ESTEEM
Post by: Peace on January 03, 2010, 09:56:37 am
You are so welcome!  Believe me, I have poems and quotes posted around to remind me of the choices I need to make everyday - remember - living in the moment.  It is not easy but the past wasn't working for us so we keep moving forward one step at a time.  Please don't think "I am there yet" or I wouldn't have looked for a site like this to talk,  look for support and vent.  We are all going to have our bad days as well and a place like this to come to is a wonderful gift.  We all hurt but need to support each other to rid ourselves of the guilt that we should NOT be feeling! 
Title: Re: TOGETHER WE CAN RAISE OUR SELF ESTEEM
Post by: 2chickiebaby on January 03, 2010, 10:05:46 am
Thank you for giving me that....I need to know I have permission to vent and be mad if I want to.  So, thank you!!

I sure wouldn't want the DILs to think I was whining.  Poor things can't spell so they spell it "wine", like the fruit of the vine. 

Really, thank you, Peace.  I do need help.
Title: Re: TOGETHER WE CAN RAISE OUR SELF ESTEEM
Post by: 2chickiebaby on January 03, 2010, 10:17:43 am
Why can't they spell?  Stomach is spelled like that.  Not stomache....are you freaking kidding me?  We're suppose to be holding our stomaches in pain.  We get upset when we are ignored, losing our "N" supply.   WHAT?

The entire world is not made up of "N's".  The Boogey Man is not out to get you.