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Problem Solving => Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws => Topic started by: Scoop on April 24, 2011, 08:00:56 pm

Title: What's up with this?
Post by: Scoop on April 24, 2011, 08:00:56 pm
So we got back from a weekend at the IL's and I have a question.

When I was dreading the visit, someone recommended that I bring a big bouquet of flowers.  I liked the idea, so I turned it into me bringing an Easter Bunny cake.  I had DH talk to his M, to make sure it was okay.  I brought the cakes, the icing & the candies and DD, DN, MIL and I put it all together.  I made sure to involve MIL, and at the end, we took pictures of the girls and the cake and another one of the girls, me, MIL and the cake.  I tried, I really tried.

So in the meantime, MIL had ordered an ice-cream cake and ended up with a huge ice-cream cake AND the Easter Bunny cake (and we were only 9 people).  It totally came down to "loyalties", I served up "my" cake (per MIL's directions) and she served up "her" cake.  The kids had the bunny cake and SIL & BIL had some of each.

I guess if we were on a good footing, I wouldn't think anything of it, but as it was between us, I was mad about it.  I think that no smal part of it is that I'm noticing a trend where MIL won't eat food I've made.  I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm dirty.

Conversely, in the sake of fairness, my MIL has no concept of how much food to make for 9 people.  (I shudder to think of the food they must throw away.)  So maybe she didn't think it would be too much?  She didn't send any food home with SIL and we didn't take any either.  (For the record: it was offered for us to bring the 2/3 of the bunny cake back, but it was at the last minute, the car was packed, we were heading out the door.  To me it was a stalling tactic to delay our leaving - as usual.)

So what do you think?  Understandable?  Or rude?
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: LaurieS on April 24, 2011, 08:06:54 pm
Understandable or rude on your part or hers?
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: holliberri on April 24, 2011, 08:09:19 pm
I just left a house this afternoon that had more cakes than that and less people. I had my dad's cheesecake, but I neglected the chocolate cake and the raspberry almond coffee cake. But, my Aunt is a food hog. She makes sure her family is fed with leftovers for a good week.

I think overestimating food is a common mistake. Perhaps she just doesn't plan well? It could just come down to taste or what she felt like having at the time.

Stalling tactics are common, but manageable. MIL likes to put in a batch of brownies 5 minutes before our scheduled departure. Yes, she BAKES our takeaway goodies as we're leaving. Now, DH and I give her a departure time one hour earlier than we intend to leave. In essence, she is losing "psychological" time with us.

Besides, if the food is going to waste, at least your cake isn't, when you worked pretty hard on it and it was a good idea. I hope the rest of the weekend went okay.
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: LaurieS on April 24, 2011, 08:11:44 pm
 I'd rather over estimate then to ever underestimate when it comes to food.. besides I'll eat leftovers .. especially leftover cake.
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: pam1 on April 24, 2011, 08:14:14 pm
Scoop, how old is she?

My MIL does this and it seems to be a depression era type thing.  She also is a food watcher and if she thinks her food isn't being eaten, she will only eat hers. 
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: luise.volta on April 24, 2011, 08:25:51 pm
Dumb!
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: Sheen on April 24, 2011, 11:21:17 pm
Not sure about Easter but over here on your birthday it is customary to have seven different types of goodies, such as cakes, cookies etc.   The kicker is you have to make it yourself  like wassup with that lol. 
As far as the bunny cake, ice cream cake issue, not sure you could conclude that it was an intentional slight towards you. Alot of people don't really think of ice cream cake as cake persay so maybe she felt yours was the cake and hers was the ice cream which would offer an alternative or an addition to it.

As far as offering the bunny cake to take home, maybe she felt that kids would enjoy having the bunny cake to take home and perhaps didn't think of it until last minute. 
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: AnonymousDIL on April 25, 2011, 07:08:10 am
Sheen, where are you from? I totally like the 7 kinds of goodies thing (although I aggree wassup with making them yourself! lol)
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: Keys Girl on April 25, 2011, 07:35:00 am
Scoop, go with the original advice and bring flowers the next time.
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: FAFE on April 25, 2011, 07:38:48 am
I made enought homemade mac & cheese to feed a family of ten for weeks.  There were only 5 adults here.  Everyone went home with mac & cheese, ham and green beans!   There's no competition when we have family get to gethers, etc.  Everyone brings whatever and I always take a cheese dip/chips, at least one veggie, a dessert, and usually some kind of bread. 
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: Sassy on April 25, 2011, 07:42:44 am
If you're not sure you were treated rudely, and you have to wonder if you "should" be offended, then no reason to choose to be unhappy.

For perspective, I served 3 different desserts at my Easter dinner for 6.  I like that people could choose, or have more than one treat.  Have you considered that MIL simply wanted to eat ice cream instead of cake. 

If the worst thing about your visit is that MIL didn't eat what you wanted her to, or that she served more than one dessert,  or that the thought struck her as you were leaving that that your children might enjoy leftover bunny cake more than she would... it sounds like you had a wonderful visit.  Appreciate the good stuff.

Next time, you can avoid the feelings of possible rejection by bringing flowers. 
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: Pen on April 25, 2011, 07:46:48 am
IMHO it could be any of those things from poor planning, to wanting to make sure there was enough, to being an intentional slight. But really, what does it matter? If it was intentionally done to hurt you, and you decide to be hurt and angry about it, you're ruining your day not hers. If you choose to turn it into a funny moment of hostessy (is that a word?) concern with having enough dessert then she appears to be worrying for nothing or overly concerned with dessert, IYKWIM (oink.)

I understand how hard you worked on the bunny cake and feel you should have been allowed to bask in your glory, I really do. Don't let anyone take away your pride in your accomplishment! It sounds as if your cake was the hit, actually...

Here's how she could have handled it if she was really concerned that your offering wouldn't be sufficient: She could have stashed her cake in a cooler or spare freezer in the garage (or bought a non-perishable one) and waited to see if yours showed up. I've done that with my DF & SM who sometimes insist on bringing something like the main dish or dessert and then "forget."
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: Sheen on April 25, 2011, 08:02:19 am
AnonymousDIL

Originally from Ny but have lived six hours north of Stockholm, Sweden for the last 9 years.
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: AnonymousDIL on April 25, 2011, 08:04:10 am
Well, then let it be known that The Swedes are the most awesome people on the planet!
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: LaurieS on April 25, 2011, 08:06:11 am
ahhh Pen.. the old, look what I happen to have :)

All I know is we didn't have any dessert last night.. a piece of that bunny cake would have been greatly appreciated here at my house.
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: Pooh on April 25, 2011, 12:04:07 pm
We always have multiple desserts too.  If I am making something that is geared more for kids (I have made the bunny cake several times), I normally offset that when a more "adult" dessert.  Cheesecake, rum cake, etc.  Since she pitched in and helped, which by the way, was very gracious and thoughtful of you, and had pics made, I would consider that a success!

I have also, at the last moment offered the people with children to take home the kid-friendly stuff at the last minute.  Cupcakes, sickly-sweet birthday cake, etc.  It has no hidden agenda with me.  Simply I figure the kids are more apt to eat them and old age making me not remember to the last minute!

Did everything else go well?
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: AnonymousDIL on April 25, 2011, 12:15:02 pm
We had the IL's for dinner yesterday and they were tasty... LOL.... Seriously now, lol, MIL brought her Jello cake. DH told her that she was in charge of dessert. I did not make anything for dessert because it would seem rude to me. I wouldn't want my MIL to think that I didn't appreciate the effort she put into the dessert. Sooooo, I completely understand where Scoop is coming from. If the roles had been reversed, I would have most definitely been offended by the appearance of the second cake because I was asked to bring it.

I have also just showed up to one of the IL's cookout with dessert (which only 2 people tried). I was a little offended, but chalked it up to them being unwilling to try new things. No skin off my back, now I go empty handed lol

That being said. I don't remember, Scoop, were you asked to bring dessert? Did you offer? Did you just show up with it? Could MIL have already had the ice cream cake ordered (I would have told you so and suggested something else for you to bring)? Maybe she wasn't trying to be rude.
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: Pooh on April 25, 2011, 12:30:43 pm
I can see that ADIL.  I guess I have never considered it rude to have multiples...just the opposite.  I like to offer variety because people like different things so I think I am being considerate.   :o  Of course, I try to ask questions beforehand too.  If my DIL told me I was in charge of desserts, I would have asked if I was the only person bringing desserts so I could bring a couple of different kinds.  If I was told that no, several people were being asked to bring them, then I would bring one.

I was told to bring a vegetable and caffeine to my DH's Easter dinner.  I asked if she knew what veggies someone else was bringing yet, so we didn't end up with 5 things of green beans.  Then my DH's niece FB'd me and asked me to bring her favorite chicken casserole (kids..lol), so I called my MIL and asked her if that would be Ok with her.  She said absolutely.  I think asking questions clears up many meanings sometimes.
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: pam1 on April 25, 2011, 01:56:22 pm
Like with everything, even the nicest thing can be done rudely.

It took me the longest time to figure out what my MIL was doing in regards to food.  I've never seen anyone with her food etiquette, not even since meeting her.  She's a food watcher and hoarder.  And we come from completely different hosting backgrounds.  I provide all the food as a host, she is a potluck host for every meal. 

I felt like it was rude that she kept bringing food to my events, even when asked not too.  Because it is rude.  However, she comes from a culture where it is customary to bring food.  I think she could handle it a different way but she doesn't, so now I quit worrying about it.  I just put her food in the fridge etc.
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: luise.volta on April 25, 2011, 02:10:08 pm
 I'm no good on this thread because Bunny cake and ice cream is cake and ice cream to me. I ain't got no class...
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: LaurieS on April 25, 2011, 02:16:42 pm
oh Pam there is always room for one more dish... But yes if I had been asked by the hostess to make my scrumdelicious potato salad and upon arriving find out that she also made her I would be a little taken back... I mean really my potato salad is good.. how can someone tell me it's good if her mundane potato salad is sitting right next to mine :)  In the case of the cakes.. you would have thought that a different type of dessert could have been made and not a duplicate.  Besides it's Easter.. I think the bunny cake really trumps the ice cream cake.
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: pam1 on April 25, 2011, 02:23:29 pm
lol Laurie

I meant my MIL will bring a watermelon to a bbq without asking the host, the host already has watermelon.  Then MIL goes on and on how hers is so much better, the type of watermelon she gets, the rind is easier to hold.  I'm not kidding, she's a food watcher.  Constantly watching and remarking on what everyone is eating, trying to angle and push her food.  It's exhausting, I'm telling you, I'm a reasonable person so I would just serve the dang food if it wasn't for the stuff that goes along with it.  It's easier just not to play.

That's why I think even the "nicest" things can be done rudely.  I just refuse to play anymore, ok thanks and stick in the fridge.
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: Rose799 on April 25, 2011, 02:31:05 pm
I bet she'd have trouble topping this one, Pam1...

http://www.sugarderby.com/blog/2011/3/15/the-ultimate-ice-cream-cake-cookie-pie.html
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: LaurieS on April 25, 2011, 02:31:50 pm
what nationality is she Pam.. don't give out to much of your personal information.. lol but that is odd behavior.. but then again with your mil it seems pretty normal for her.

My son gets so mad at me.. I have a horrible habit.. HORRIBLE .. of asking everyone while seated at a restaurant what they are going to order.. before I make up my mind I have to know what everyone else is having.. lol.. I do it all the time.. I even annoy myself doing it.

I don't know if it comes from having kids at one time and we had to figure out what everyone was going to have so I could approve or disapprove their choices and help them order.. or because I was a waitress for years and well then it's obvious why I was asking :)

I also listen to how my family orders ..oh my gosh that is another really bad habit of mine.. but my dh will always forget to say no salt on his fries.. 9 out of 10 times I have to remind him.. or my dd hates any form of gravy and she'll not remember to ask if it comes with gravy.  I think I annoy my family the most at food events :)
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: LaurieS on April 25, 2011, 02:35:31 pm
Quote from: Rose799 on April 25, 2011, 02:31:05 pm
I bet she'd have trouble topping this one, Pam1...

http://www.sugarderby.com/blog/2011/3/15/the-ultimate-ice-cream-cake-cookie-pie.html

Oh My.. I just bookmarked that Rose.. looks like a bit of work but wow that looks fantastic
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: holliberri on April 25, 2011, 02:39:06 pm
Hm...I believe those will be my 1st birthday dessert. It's a good thing I am not inviting 100 people!
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: LaurieS on April 25, 2011, 02:46:13 pm
you got time for those Holly?  Now there is a  job your mil might delve into and leave you alone for days in advance
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: pam1 on April 25, 2011, 02:49:02 pm
They are of Eastern European descent but I don't think that has anything to do with it.

She's not well and is a hoarder in all other areas of her life.  Her parents also had a really rough time during the Depression and have seemed to handed down a lot of oddities to her that she's not been able to shake.  Instead of looking at a situation like too much food for a two person household and only 2 refrigerators....she will go out and buy a 3rd one, a 4th one etc.  She's up to 5 and a deep freezer now.
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: pam1 on April 25, 2011, 02:49:47 pm
Quote from: Rose799 on April 25, 2011, 02:31:05 pm
I bet she'd have trouble topping this one, Pam1...

http://www.sugarderby.com/blog/2011/3/15/the-ultimate-ice-cream-cake-cookie-pie.html


LOL Rose, believe me...she could top it. 
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: pam1 on April 25, 2011, 02:56:48 pm
Oh I just realized too that I do the same thing Laurie.  I ask what everyone is getting, I listen to the orders.  Sometimes I just order for the whole table, I used to waitress too, it was my first job. Man, I loved that job too. 
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: LaurieS on April 25, 2011, 03:20:11 pm
Quote from: pam1 on April 25, 2011, 02:49:02 pm
They are of Eastern European descent but I don't think that has anything to do with it.

She's not well and is a hoarder in all other areas of her life.  Her parents also had a really rough time during the Depression and have seemed to handed down a lot of oddities to her that she's not been able to shake.  Instead of looking at a situation like too much food for a two person household and only 2 refrigerators....she will go out and buy a 3rd one, a 4th one etc.  She's up to 5 and a deep freezer now.


It won't be good if the electric goes out... My mom is what she calls a bargain hunter.. so she has a house full of stuff that were all great bargains if you need a plaster statue of a man smoking a pipe... and my mom is also somewhat of a food hoarder as well.. I don't care if it's two tablespoons left it will be saved and it will be served at the next meal... while I find it completely nerve wracking I also try to understand that this in part is how they made it in the world..their thriftiness has allowed them to own a nicer home etc... trying to convince them that if they stop with the bargains that that would be money in the bank but I guess we all have our own value system. 
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: pam1 on April 25, 2011, 05:32:48 pm
Laurie, if that was the end of it, then we'd be good.  I swear I'm a reasonable person lol

A lot of the food is very old and she still tries to serve it.  I caught her giving children very old bacon once and she assumes that since she cooked it -- its good.  But, there is also a show of force concerning her food.  Her daughters get the good, fresh stuff.  Sons get the old left overs.  We get the stuff that is pulled out, not eaten, put back in the fridge over and over again.  I don't trust her as far as I can throw her with food.  I also think that since she is aware or shows awareness with her daughters families that it is something she can control, but chooses not too.

Put it this way, I cleaned out her refrigerators once and there was over 10 packs of bacon expired more than 2 years.  It wasn't in the freezer, but the fridge.
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: SassyDI on April 25, 2011, 06:33:15 pm
Quote from: Scoop on April 24, 2011, 08:00:56 pm
So we got back from a weekend at the IL's and I have a question.

When I was dreading the visit, someone recommended that I bring a big bouquet of flowers.  I liked the idea, so I turned it into me bringing an Easter Bunny cake.  I had DH talk to his M, to make sure it was okay.  I brought the cakes, the icing & the candies and DD, DN, MIL and I put it all together.  I made sure to involve MIL, and at the end, we took pictures of the girls and the cake and another one of the girls, me, MIL and the cake.  I tried, I really tried.

So in the meantime, MIL had ordered an ice-cream cake and ended up with a huge ice-cream cake AND the Easter Bunny cake (and we were only 9 people).  It totally came down to "loyalties", I served up "my" cake (per MIL's directions) and she served up "her" cake.  The kids had the bunny cake and SIL & BIL had some of each.

I guess if we were on a good footing, I wouldn't think anything of it, but as it was between us, I was mad about it.  I think that no smal part of it is that I'm noticing a trend where MIL won't eat food I've made.  I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm dirty.

Conversely, in the sake of fairness, my MIL has no concept of how much food to make for 9 people.  (I shudder to think of the food they must throw away.)  So maybe she didn't think it would be too much?  She didn't send any food home with SIL and we didn't take any either.  (For the record: it was offered for us to bring the 2/3 of the bunny cake back, but it was at the last minute, the car was packed, we were heading out the door.  To me it was a stalling tactic to delay our leaving - as usual.)

So what do you think?  Understandable?  Or rude?


Not rude but I do think you serving up yours and her serving hers is kind of making it competive.  The hosts needs to either serive it all or if its like my family its called come and get what you want.  I think having more then one dessert is ok after all she could have already had the ice cream cake planned befor you offered.  oh by the way last thanksgiving we had about 8 of us including my then two year old dd and I think we had about 5 pies.  I think its very normal.
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: holliberri on April 25, 2011, 06:33:44 pm
That recipe will probably save me time....I will just have to price it out.

Mil only bakes as we head out the door...the kitchen isn't her forte.
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: SassyDI on April 25, 2011, 06:50:57 pm
Quote from: Laurie on April 25, 2011, 02:16:42 pm
oh Pam there is always room for one more dish... But yes if I had been asked by the hostess to make my scrumdelicious potato salad and upon arriving find out that she also made her I would be a little taken back... I mean really my potato salad is good.. how can someone tell me it's good if her mundane potato salad is sitting right next to mine :)  In the case of the cakes.. you would have thought that a different type of dessert could have been made and not a duplicate.  Besides it's Easter.. I think the bunny cake really trumps the ice cream cake.


I am a potato salad snob I will eat pretty much only the one I make and my dad's.  Everyone else never ever tastes the same to me.  DH always asks my opinion on the potato salad.
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: LaurieS on April 25, 2011, 07:03:00 pm
Quote from: pam1 on April 25, 2011, 05:32:48 pm
Laurie, if that was the end of it, then we'd be good.  I swear I'm a reasonable person lol

A lot of the food is very old and she still tries to serve it.  I caught her giving children very old bacon once and she assumes that since she cooked it -- its good.  But, there is also a show of force concerning her food.  Her daughters get the good, fresh stuff.  Sons get the old left overs.  We get the stuff that is pulled out, not eaten, put back in the fridge over and over again.  I don't trust her as far as I can throw her with food.  I also think that since she is aware or shows awareness with her daughters families that it is something she can control, but chooses not too.

Put it this way, I cleaned out her refrigerators once and there was over 10 packs of bacon expired more than 2 years.  It wasn't in the freezer, but the fridge.


No that isn't good Pam.. not at all
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: Tara on April 25, 2011, 09:22:04 pm
Hey Scoop,

I wanted to stay that if it was me who brought and made the bunny cake which sounds adorable, it would still be disappointing
if it didn't get eaten due to MIL's icecream cake.    This may not be your style, but I always note if my food is being eaten when I bring
some to a family event and feel happy when its eaten up.    I appreciate your intention to do something warm and friendly.

Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: LaurieS on April 25, 2011, 09:27:43 pm
I do agree with you Tara... I would have eaten one of the ears ... all by myself :)
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: lancaster lady on April 26, 2011, 12:55:20 am
Pam ........does she eat the out of date food herself ?Or just save it for her favourite people ........did I mention we own a deli ? We get elderly ladies buying the same thing every day for a week ! When you mention it they become stroppy ! Age makes folk forgetful ........they know they need an item but forget they bought it the day before ....    It's sad .
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: Pooh on April 26, 2011, 05:31:11 am
Oooh Pam.  You have a bigger problem than MIL being a food retard.  You have to contend with worrying about getting sick.   Oooh...I wouldn't eat anything she brought!  Bless your heart.

I will say that I am guilty of some of the things that are being brought up here.  I have a thing about not going anywhere empty handed.  I will say that if someone specifically tells me not to bring anything, I bring flowers or a nice candle, or something.  I also don't bring anything that will try to compete with the host or hostess, but I am guilty of bringing food to someone's house.  I usually stick to a dessert and I ask first, but I am guilty.    I guess I get that from my Mother, who always brings something too.  I also ask everyone what they are ordering at a restaurant!  Lol.  I think I do it because I am afraid someone else saw something really good on the menu that I missed.
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: holliberri on April 26, 2011, 05:50:43 am
Yup, I ask everyone what they're eating purely for my own selfish reasons. I don't want to miss something good.  :D
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: pam1 on April 26, 2011, 06:02:28 am
LL, no she doesn't eat the old food.  That's why I have a hard time accepting "that's just the way she is."  She has a thing with males and females, DH has been working on that now with her and a counselor.  She treats her male children as if they are lesser beings and female children as higher beings.  It's very sad.  I know she has issues and I do try to pretend (as was suggested) that she has a disease that she couldn't help getting and has no control over it.  Sometimes I buy it, other times I think she's just never had anyone put her in her place lol.  Sometimes I'm more angry at FIL for enabling this, it's terribly sad.

Pooh, I'm very careful about her food.  I've done a variety of things like getting take out to bring over (which she loves) to only eating and fixing DD's plate from what other people made.  Which is why I'm grateful to the potlucks. 

I bet most of us are guilty of things, even annoying ones.  I guess when I bring stuff up I'm talking about a pattern, there's more to it for me than just asking a question all the time.  I wonder if that was where Scoop was coming from, maybe MIL has done other food stuff and it's just something that got to Scoop.  Sometimes there is just so many layers and it doesn't always occur to me anyways to type it all out, that post would be loooooong lol.  I know when something annoys me there is usually something behind it, a build up. 
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: AnonymousDIL on April 26, 2011, 06:05:59 am
Quote from: Holly on April 26, 2011, 05:50:43 am
Yup, I ask everyone what they're eating purely for my own selfish reasons. I don't want to miss something good.  :D


I'm not above changing my order lol. The old "Oooooh that sounds good. I'll have that instead..." lol

Quote from: pam1 on April 26, 2011, 06:02:28 am
I bet most of us are guilty of things, even annoying ones.  I guess when I bring stuff up I'm talking about a pattern, there's more to it for me than just asking a question all the time.  I wonder if that was where Scoop was coming from, maybe MIL has done other food stuff and it's just something that got to Scoop.  Sometimes there is just so many layers and it doesn't always occur to me anyways to type it all out, that post would be loooooong lol.  I know when something annoys me there is usually something behind it, a build up. 


I know for me it might not be just about the food. Sometimes it feels like nothing I ever do is ever good enough for MIL. Sooooo for me, I would view it as a message that my cake wasn't good enough.  :-\
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: AnonymousDIL on April 26, 2011, 06:13:57 am
I just thought of something....

Once I took "Heavenly Hash" to one of the IL get togethers. It is a dessert salad of marshmallow, whipped cream, coconut, cherries, and pineapple. Mmmmm Soooo yummy.... Well, only FIL, DH, and BIL1 had any. (It is 30+ people at this thing). I don't take it any more, BUT since then someone has started making Watercress Salad? It basically looks the same, but isn't a "dessert"

I find that a little odd for some reason.
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: Pooh on April 26, 2011, 06:36:47 am
Quote from: pam1 on April 26, 2011, 06:02:28 am
  I know when something annoys me there is usually something behind it, a build up.


Absolutely!  I know I am like that.  It takes quite a bit to get me annoyed, but once I am, then any little thing they do annoys the far out of me.  GUILTY!
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: Scoop on April 26, 2011, 06:45:44 am
Thanks everyone!  I knew I would get some good perspectives.

So basically, the competing desserts would not have been competing had they been served together.  And it's only a competition if I accept the challenge.

Also, all the background and all the little things that are behind it, really do make it more of a dig.  However, it's true, it's only a dig if I actually let it get to me.  So I'm not. 

I'm already over it. 

And really, the girls had SO MUCH FUN putting the cake together (and eating the candy), and the important people did fuss over the cake and congratulate them for how delicious it was.

No, we didn't end up bringing any home.  The cake tins had already been thrown away and there really was no (easy) way.  And with all the Easter goodies, DD isn't going to miss it, and nor will my hips or sit-upon.
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: Pooh on April 26, 2011, 06:48:16 am
Sit-Upon!!!!!

ROLFL!
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: LaurieS on April 26, 2011, 07:17:51 am
Great way to view it Scoop... I didn't realize that we were all so wise and gave you such direct insight ... but... we're not done discussing it :)  and now look you have pooh reliving her girl scout days with sit-upons.

I got in trouble Pooh for refusing to carry mine with me everywhere I went... I was not above getting my behind dirty
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: pam1 on April 26, 2011, 07:25:09 am
Scoop, good on you for finding the positive in it all.

And Laurie, I have no doubt you were getting in trouble at girl scouts.  All I remember from girl scouts was how to make a fishing net out of panty hose
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: holliberri on April 26, 2011, 08:39:22 am
I remember sneaking over the the boys scout camp to make out when I was 14.  ;D ;D
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: LaurieS on April 26, 2011, 08:51:42 am
I was making smores at that age Holly.. see somethings never change
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: luise.volta on April 26, 2011, 08:54:25 am
I was a girl scout. My uniform was one of the few things that I remember that was bought for me new. I had two older sisters and it was the depression. (No one had a sense of entitlement!) When I was 16, I was still in a Girl Scout Mariner's troop and a counselor at camp. Still sing those songs.  :)
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: LaurieS on April 26, 2011, 09:07:57 am
I hated with a passion being a girl scout... while the boys were out walking rope bridges we were forced to use our sit-upon.. the smores..oh those had to be cooked by the leaders because young girls were to dainty to be near fire. 

My boys were both Eagles scouts.. the oldest took flying and gliding lessons.. they took trips to Canada..Scuba Diving etc.  My daughter gave up in short time as she was only selling cookies in front of the local convenience store. Maybe it use to be different, but I can't see any of the girls finding this enjoyable enough to make it through the ranks.  On a good note.. my dd was taken in as the lil sis and got to participate with the boys often (not as in the Holly-way)
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: AnonymousDIL on April 26, 2011, 09:10:47 am
Quote from: Laurie on April 26, 2011, 09:07:57 am
I hated with a passion being a girl scout... while the boys were out walking rope bridges we were forced to use our sit-upon.. the smores..oh those had to be cooked by the leaders because young girls were to dainty to be near fire. 

My boys were both Eagles scouts.. the oldest took flying and gliding lessons.. they took trips to Canada..Scuba Diving etc.  My daughter gave up in short time as she was only selling cookies in front of the local convenience store. Maybe it use to be different, but I can't see any of the girls finding this enjoyable enough to make it through the ranks.  On a good note.. my dd was taken in as the lil sis and got to participate with the boys often (not as in the Holly-way)


I made it as a Brownie all of 3 weeks! LOL It was BORING! lol
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: pam1 on April 26, 2011, 09:12:57 am
Yeah, I never even made it to girl scouts, I was only a Daisy
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: holliberri on April 26, 2011, 09:13:26 am
IDK, Laurie...I think that depends on the troop. I was in until I was 17...I earned my Gold Award. We did white water rafting; Niagara Falls and camping a lot. There was some silly stuff: like a makeover session at the mall. We went to Assateague and camped there. I earned my Gold Award, but I never told my friends in High School. When it hit the paper, I was mortified. Geek!
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: LaurieS on April 26, 2011, 09:17:45 am
Quote from: Holly on April 26, 2011, 09:13:26 am
IDK, Laurie...I think that depends on the troop. I was in until I was 17...I earned my Gold Award. We did white water rafting; Niagara Falls and camping a lot. There was some silly stuff: like a makeover session at the mall. We went to Assateague and camped there. I earned my Gold Award, but I never told my friends in High School. When it hit the paper, I was mortified. Geek!


It's always the troop and the leaders... when my dd was in it.. a group of moms were talking and I explained why I hated it so, so many years ago.. So one country born mom pipes up and she was dead serious as she says.. then what if we let the girls do something that is more hands on.. like plucking a dead chicken ... lol.. I just looked around in disbelief
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: holliberri on April 26, 2011, 09:24:45 am
OMW...I did have to clean up horse stables once. I didn't kill anything though.
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: Sunny1 on April 26, 2011, 09:34:00 am
I remember being a Brownie for what seemed like forever and then I finally became a girl scout and was sooooo excited to go to camp. When I got there I ended up with a counselor that forced me to eat lima beans, which I hated. Then after my roomies talked and were noisy all thru the first night, we were forced to clean the latrine the rest of the camp....yup...outhouse.

I quit girlscouts immediately after that. Wouldn't even camp for a long time...but wow do I laugh my butt off now about it.  ;D
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: LaurieS on April 26, 2011, 09:37:06 am
The boy scouts troops leaders son was caught at a b.s. event held at our county park of painting anti gay and black slogans in the rest room.  At first everyone was going to pretend it was there already... I made my husband pitch a fit and so the leaders son was forced to repaint the bathroom, the leader then claimed that his child earned some kind of merit badge and actually gave him the badge.. so yes like everything in life.. it's comes down to the individuals not the organization.. Even girl scouts was created for all the right reasons.
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: holliberri on April 26, 2011, 09:38:50 am
Yes. Right reasons being Thin Mints.
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: LaurieS on April 26, 2011, 09:49:50 am
ok.. thin mints are meant to be loved.. I'll give you that much.. have a great day all.. bye
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: Pooh on April 26, 2011, 11:05:31 am
I was never a Girl Scout...but I was in the Explorers!  Lol.  Started out in the Veternary Explorers, then went into the Doctor's Explorers (changed when we visited a hospital morgue) and ended up in the Police Explorers.  No uniforms and just lots of field trips.  ;D
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: luise.volta on April 26, 2011, 11:55:14 am
Well, very cool. Police Explorers lead you to your career, right?
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: Pooh on April 26, 2011, 12:01:10 pm
Quote from: luise.volta on April 26, 2011, 11:55:14 am
Well, very cool. Police Explorers lead you to your career, right?


No, you would think it did.  I was in Business Management for the first 17 years of my adult years.  I didn't discover this career until I was 35 and it was purely by accident.  I did always admire the Law Enforcement profession but after riding with them for a couple of years, I realized I wasn't cut out for it.
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: holliberri on April 26, 2011, 12:07:51 pm
So, I'm sorry if this is a silly question...is Explorers a group for kids?

It sounds interesting, and if it is, I'd like to keep it tabbed as a possibility for DD.
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: Pooh on April 26, 2011, 01:12:00 pm
It was for teenagers back when I was growing up Holly.  I think it started at age 12 and went until 18 or graduation, if it still even exists today.  Different role models from all different kinds of professions would mentor a group of teenagers.  You picked groups based on professional interests.  All the different groups would have their own meetings and field trips, and then all the groups would come together 3 or 4 times a year for cookouts, campouts and such.

I started for the first year in the Veterinary Explorers, but after getting to experience working in a Veterinary Office, I realized I could never make it through the putting animals to sleep part.  The next two years I switched over to the Doctor's group, and I loved it until we did an all night hospital tour one weekend.  They ended our trip into the morgue and I realized I could never make it through that part.  So I did the Police Explorers and I loved it.  I did realize that the job was 75% paperwork (the side you don't see) 5% traffic stops, 5% real calls, 5% court time, and the other 10% spent getting yelled at, cursed at and spit on.  I decided then that although I admired what they did, I didn't want to do it.  Funny now....I spend much of my time in dispatch getting yelled and cursed at, but I don't have to deal with the spit! 

I would hope that the program is still alive and well.  I thought it was the perfect combination of fun, wisdom and real world insight.
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: holliberri on April 26, 2011, 02:02:54 pm
It sounds awesome. I think I need a program like that right now. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: Rose799 on April 26, 2011, 02:40:42 pm
Quote from: Holly on April 26, 2011, 02:02:54 pm
It sounds awesome. I think I need a program like that right now. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.


I don't either, Holly...
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: Sheen on April 27, 2011, 04:25:09 am
Girl Scouts, Brownies here and even a stint as a brownie leader  lol.   Just got a box of thin mints for Easter along with two boxes of GS cookies that I guard with my life lol.  Also did a round of Rainbow girls  but still have no idea what to be when I grow up either.  Wouldn't it be neat if we could take all the knowledge we have now and go back and do it again.  :)
Title: Re: What's up with this?
Post by: overwhelmed123 on April 27, 2011, 06:30:25 am
Man, I would have loved Police Explorers!  I did an internship in college at a PD in the forensic department training with the forensic investigators.  That was one of the neatest things I've done.  Wish I had the guts to do it even with the pay being so awful.