WiseWomenUnite.com

General Category => Grab Bag => Topic started by: SunnyDays09 on April 21, 2011, 07:09:54 AM

Title: What ever happened to...?
Post by: SunnyDays09 on April 21, 2011, 07:09:54 AM
I barely got to know some of you and I am leaving.  Great.  Things change, I suppose.  I know I have.  Since there isn't a "NO CONTACT" thread stickied my usefulness is unneeded, imo. 
  I do just want to say this is a wonderful place to help those that are having difficulties.  I guess my "therapy" time has ended, for I just don't feel the fit anymore.
   I am from a long time ago and was stopping by less and less getting into more health sites and so on; I really don't know anyone here.  Many have changed names, have just left or been banned. 

  So, thank you all for the support and kindness shared.  You have no idea how much I appreciate it.  But it's time to go. 
  Good luck with all you do - I hope your days are full of great things.  :)

HappyDays.
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: pam1 on April 21, 2011, 07:24:42 AM
I am really confused, HappyDays.  What thread?
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: Rose799 on April 21, 2011, 07:29:14 AM
my usefulness is unneeded, imo. 

How about me, Happy?  I'm big on health sites too, but the info you shared about gluten in 2 posts helped more than anything I got online.  I started to write, but didn't...that you're my "go to girl" for medical advice.  You know the story about the starfish on the beach?  You can think of me as the one you threw back, for giving me direction on how to help dd, & for that, I thank you...   I hope you'll come back from time to time~ 
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: holliberri on April 21, 2011, 07:34:27 AM
Yes, Happy...I am with Rose. Your information has been more than helpful over the last few days.
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: SunnyDays09 on April 21, 2011, 09:24:33 AM
I am really confused, HappyDays.  What thread?

Just meant there isn't a spot here for those that have total "no-contact" and have no desire to ever contact again.  I feel I cannot really--or shouldn't give advice for the best would be to try to mend bridges, imo.  I am too quick to say "cut em off" only out of what was done to me and that is not the way it should be.  Even though sometimes it does happen, I feel like the poster woman for what not to do. 

I can't really take part in the "what should I do?  my ils are...." for  I would never wish what I had to do on anyone and I must never suggest it.  Sooo many times I almost posted, and in fact I believe I have, to just cut the meany completely out.   I sit and read and feel the anguish thru what is written and I have nothing to offer. I truly feel deep down that they should try everything  - no contact is a last resort - and try everything again. 
  It is going on 7 years and all I can feel is anger.  Tried all of the programs, the books, whoever.  The one I am reading now seems to be helping, though.  Even though she blames me, demeans me, slanders me, I know deep down how insecure she is.  The only "woop" sort of feeling I get is knowing she didn't have me as a free nanny.  And she could have.  All I requested was respect and some honesty.  I never intruded.  I never demanded.  I didn't play the games that I have read many of the mils are playing.  So I just don't fit in.

I wasn't a mom that couldn't stand to lose her son.  I practically kicked him out of the house (nicely.  after military obligations, he returned full of woes, issues and lack of respect times three.  I suggested room/board payments that were reasonable.  he left)

He has found his place, I have mine.  I would just like if she would get a bit more acquainted with the truth.  If she were to claim I flew over her house on my broom stick she would have her mother/sisters/friends claiming it true.  So be it. No free nanny service. 

As for my input on health issues - I'll lurk a bit and see if I can offer for I do love finding a more natural approach to health - being 55 years old and on no prescribed drugs makes me feel maybe I am on to something!! :)

Thanks again.  You are truly a great bunch and I wish the best for you all!!  ?  (there is a heart there, may not show)
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: Rose799 on April 21, 2011, 09:44:06 AM
As for my input on health issues - I'll lurk a bit and see if I can offer for I do love finding a more natural approach to health - being 55 years old and on no prescribed drugs makes me feel maybe I am on to something!! :)

Thanks, Happy!  I'm sure to have more questions along the way...

 (there is a heart there, may not show)

You never fooled me...   ;D
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: luise.volta on April 21, 2011, 10:58:11 AM
I don't get it Happy. What am I missing here? Why would you leave? I don't know what you refer to on the "No contact." Everyone here is able to contact everyone via posts...and for now the Personal Messaging is operating. When a person is someone I don't want posting...they are deleted as members. What's us?
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: pam1 on April 21, 2011, 11:07:19 AM
I am really confused, HappyDays.  What thread?

Just meant there isn't a spot here for those that have total "no-contact" and have no desire to ever contact again.  I feel I cannot really--or shouldn't give advice for the best would be to try to mend bridges, imo.  I am too quick to say "cut em off" only out of what was done to me and that is not the way it should be.  Even though sometimes it does happen, I feel like the poster woman for what not to do. 

I can't really take part in the "what should I do?  my ils are...." for  I would never wish what I had to do on anyone and I must never suggest it.  Sooo many times I almost posted, and in fact I believe I have, to just cut the meany completely out.   I sit and read and feel the anguish thru what is written and I have nothing to offer. I truly feel deep down that they should try everything  - no contact is a last resort - and try everything again. 
  It is going on 7 years and all I can feel is anger.  Tried all of the programs, the books, whoever.  The one I am reading now seems to be helping, though.  Even though she blames me, demeans me, slanders me, I know deep down how insecure she is.  The only "woop" sort of feeling I get is knowing she didn't have me as a free nanny.  And she could have.  All I requested was respect and some honesty.  I never intruded.  I never demanded.  I didn't play the games that I have read many of the mils are playing.  So I just don't fit in.

I wasn't a mom that couldn't stand to lose her son.  I practically kicked him out of the house (nicely.  after military obligations, he returned full of woes, issues and lack of respect times three.  I suggested room/board payments that were reasonable.  he left)

He has found his place, I have mine.  I would just like if she would get a bit more acquainted with the truth.  If she were to claim I flew over her house on my broom stick she would have her mother/sisters/friends claiming it true.  So be it. No free nanny service. 

As for my input on health issues - I'll lurk a bit and see if I can offer for I do love finding a more natural approach to health - being 55 years old and on no prescribed drugs makes me feel maybe I am on to something!! :)

Thanks again.  You are truly a great bunch and I wish the best for you all!!  ?  (there is a heart there, may not show)

HappyDays, I think there is room for all opinions (just respectfully stated, which you don't seem to have a problem with.)  Thats what the hubbub was all about the other day, Luise clearly made her stance that WWU is open for all opinions. 

I understand if you feel that you would add more negative than good, I've been there and will probably have to occasional censor myself, step out of the forum a bit, or have Holly tell me to shut it.  (I've got medical stuff going on too)  I think your point of view is very welcome and I would hope you reconsider
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: Pooh on April 21, 2011, 02:13:49 PM
Happy...don't go.  I'll miss you.  I actually think you have tons to offer.  I agree with pam, you may advocate cut-offs more than some of us, but that doesn't make it wrong.  I think we need that side too to understand why sometimes that's all you can do.

I love your advice and wisdom and I don't ever remember you telling someone they shouldn't try and just to cut-off someone.  I think you have great insight and even though I don't have the allergy issues that you deal with, I enjoy reading your stuff on that too simply because it gives me knowledge.

I hope you stay.
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: holliberri on April 21, 2011, 02:25:39 PM
Pooh is right. I would never say "never cut anyone off." Sometimes it is necessary, just not in my case.

And...we all benefit from the difference of opinion here. Agreeing doesn't get anyone to change a thing.
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: lancaster lady on April 21, 2011, 03:17:17 PM
Happy Days :

There are sometimes when I feel I don't fit into this forum either .....but then I'm a nosey person and can't keep away !

The reason I am back online is because I ditched all my meds ! now perhaps that's something you could help me with .
I found I couldn't function normally on the concoction of chemicals they had me on , couldn't type or spell or think .
Just shows what these prescribed drugs can do to your system . I have tried alternative therapies without success , maybe just
the wrong ones .
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: Pooh on April 21, 2011, 03:35:06 PM
LL, I've been threatening to do that for two weeks too!  But I'm hanging in there and I'm adjusting so far. 
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: holliberri on April 21, 2011, 03:40:53 PM
LL, I am no doctor, and it's entirely up to you, but your condition sounded pretty serious to me. Is dropping the medicine okay? Could the doctor adjust the dose?

I'll go back to minding my own business now.
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: lancaster lady on April 21, 2011, 03:59:29 PM
Nice to know you care Holl.......I think the mixture wasn't quite right and until I see a cardiologist  my doc isn't sure what meds to put me on , but without them I feel ok so far .just on painkillers for the arthritis .....typing.this in bed on my phone ....its now midnight ,and have an art exhibition tomorrow .....paint is still wet ....lol ....gnite all ..x
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: Pooh on April 21, 2011, 04:08:18 PM
Good nite LL and good luck with your art exhibition.
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: jill on April 21, 2011, 06:19:36 PM
HappyDays,
I hope you stay, everybody's input is important on this forum.  You have shown great strength in deciding to cut off your son, it must have been the most difficult thing you have ever done.  I am sure there are some people here who have thought of doing the same thing.  Keep posting....Jill
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: Tara on April 21, 2011, 09:47:07 PM
Hey HD,

I hate to see you go.   Why don't you try a little longer.  I feel a connection with you and would like to see that develop.
Also, can you pls explain 'no contact' if you feel comfortable doing that?

Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: SunnyDays09 on April 22, 2011, 08:03:01 AM
I don't get it Happy. What am I missing here? Why would you leave? I don't know what you refer to on the "No contact." Everyone here is able to contact everyone via posts...and for now the Personal Messaging is operating. When a person is someone I don't want posting...they are deleted as members. What's us?

Because it hurts over and over and in order to stop the hurt I project my feelings in my posts.  Knee jerk reaction/reply: "cut em loose"  "don't call them back", etc.  This isn't helpful advice and I know it.  I used to hide behind funny, but it aint anymore--the nerve is exposed.   
  Can you imagine the new poster coming on board to ask: "What can I do, my mil isn't feel well and I want to help her"  and I reply "NO MORE CONTACT"  She isn't worth it!!!  Ok.  Extreme.   Kind of comical and I would be the first to giggle at the humor here - but what the heck is behind it?  When will I be able to just let it go?

( The feelings behind the  NO CONTACT is that there isn't a permanent thread.  Like under Grab Bag, so to speak.  For that ONE person---me---that has decided to have no contact.  I really can't give constructive advice to those hurting.  KWIM?  I could be the lonely troll mil in the NO CONTACT thread that all the dils avoid like the plague.  Even the old friends I found thru here have contact with their kids/families after years of none.  As happy as I am for that, there is a feeling of "how wonderful for her/them", there is also OH, NO!  I am a monsterinlaw)
 
Just reading this they will come to discover that there is a human being on this globe that would reconsider NC  in a heartbeat and walk thru fire to avoid it. ( I threw his baby pix away.  But there is one I forgot about in a dresser stored downstairs and I found it a couple weeks ago--my God he was an adorable little baby.  What misfired?)  So that's what THAT'S all about with me for now. 

Whew!  Wow. Didn't know that was down in there.  Shoosh.  In the book I have latched on to lately:  "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay there is a section I keep avoiding:  Exercise:  Forgiveness and I don't know why. 

Youse are overwhelming me here and from my entire heart (top and bottom), I thank and hug each one of you.  Feels wonderful, it does.  And maybe I was too quick to NC you all - see?  It IS me!! lol. 

Now,  I so want to find out about LL's meds!!!  Just don't ask me for mil/dil advice.   ;D

Thank you again. 

Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: Rose799 on April 22, 2011, 08:22:16 AM
I think many of us understand, Happy.   It's survival.  It's hard to recover after having every little piece of our heart broken.  Maybe you just need to add a warning label to your posts, like they do on cigarettes & alcohol. : )
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: Rose799 on April 22, 2011, 08:58:46 AM
I listened to Dr. Coleman's seminar last night.  He said mothers have a harder time disconnecting from estrangements, as we're hard wired to our dc, they think in order to help the species survive.   

Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: Rose799 on April 22, 2011, 09:08:19 AM
I think many of us understand, Happy.   It's survival.  It's hard to recover after having every little piece of our heart broken.  Maybe you just need to add a warning label to your posts, like they do on cigarettes & alcohol. : )

I meant "disclosure," not warning... 
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: Sassy on April 22, 2011, 10:43:02 AM
I remember you happydays!   I just got through an awful tax season by having "when this is over done, I'll have time to check in with the wise women" as the light at the end of my tunnel.   I wonder if Rose's idea can be incorporated into a smartly funny signature line....   

You don't have to cut us off entirely.  Maybe just give us a time out?  :P
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: lancaster lady on April 22, 2011, 10:45:56 AM
FYI :
I have sent a list of my meds to Dr Happy .....c'mon now where's that smile ???
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: SunnyDays09 on April 22, 2011, 11:49:06 AM
I have replied LL, hope ya got some time to read it all.   ;)

Gonna have to check out Dr. Coleman and  I do like the idea of a "disclaimer" in the siggy !! :)   (Although me thinks you had it right with warning heehee). 

Looks I'm the grab bag lady!!  I'll stay in that category, or maybe venture into the Internet and post some informational tidbit on a health topic. 

Luise, Rose, Tara, Jill, Pooh, Lancaster lady, Sassy, Holly, pam and all Thank You so very much.  Just don't let me loose on a noob, for awhile.   :-X

Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: Rose799 on April 22, 2011, 01:31:05 PM
I do like the idea of a "disclaimer" in the siggy !! :) 

Bet you could get some help with that if you throw in a bath bomb... : )
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: lancaster lady on April 22, 2011, 01:48:07 PM
lololol:    these bath bombs keep surfacing ...I have a basket full in my bathroom ....one at a time ladies ..!
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: luise.volta on April 22, 2011, 01:55:23 PM
So glad you are reconsidering, H!. :-) We don't have to answer any posts we don't want to or comment on any posts that we don't find supportive. We're all pretty free here. All that's asked is that what we write is respectful. We have lots and lots of members who read posts but don't post, themselves. Whatever works!
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: SunnyDays09 on April 22, 2011, 08:38:44 PM
Awww thanks Luise.  You are wonderful. 

Rose!  rofl!!!
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: Sheen on April 23, 2011, 12:45:58 AM
Hi Happy
I also hope you don't leave the forum.  Like you if there was a category for the no contact, I would be sitting right next to you as I have had no contact with my son going on seven years as well.  Perhaps we can't get much advice on our own situations but I bet we can offer some relating to what led up to our positions.
So hang out in the  forum, I will share my popcorn with you lol.
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: Hope on April 23, 2011, 03:57:02 AM
Happy,
So glad you reconsidered.  We need you!
Hugs, Hope
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: SunnyDays09 on April 23, 2011, 07:01:43 AM
Thank you Hope!! <3  (the old alt 3 does not produce heart shapes any more :( )

Sheen, please pass the organic popcorn over here - I have sea salt. (sorry about your nc.  it's rough, isn't it?)



Now I want popcorn.   ::)
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: pam1 on April 23, 2011, 03:38:31 PM
I have replied LL, hope ya got some time to read it all.   ;)

Gonna have to check out Dr. Coleman and  I do like the idea of a "disclaimer" in the siggy !! :)   (Although me thinks you had it right with warning heehee). 

Looks I'm the grab bag lady!!  I'll stay in that category, or maybe venture into the Internet and post some informational tidbit on a health topic. 

Luise, Rose, Tara, Jill, Pooh, Lancaster lady, Sassy, Holly, pam and all Thank You so very much.  Just don't let me loose on a noob, for awhile.   :-X

Hey, I love the grab bag.  It's like the down below spot, you know that hip hang out?  hahaha
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: Sheen on April 23, 2011, 07:49:16 PM
Happy, I am in Sweden and organic is all they know  lol. 
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: Tara on April 23, 2011, 08:10:14 PM
Aren't you lucky Sheen, why is organic so common in Sweden?
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: Sheen on April 24, 2011, 12:44:50 AM
Hi Swedes are extremely health conscious and there is very little additives in almost everything. Even their turkeys look like an underfed perdue oven roaster lol.  When we do Thanksgiving for more then two, we need to get at least 3-4 turkeys. I know its a good thing but there are days when I would kill for a Butterball .  Unfortunately they are just catching on to the whole gluten-free thing which makes it extremely hard for my hub to get much variety in that area.
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: Barbie on April 24, 2011, 08:21:13 AM
HD,

I remember reading your posts when I became a member and always enjoyed reading them. Like you, sometimes I've felt like throwing in the towel but I still don't have the guts to do it. I'm glad you've decided to stay.
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: luise.volta on April 24, 2011, 02:34:02 PM
We're working on it. "It" being the issues we all find difficult. Please read my recent post under: "Personal Messaging and Etiquette" And bless your hearts for your patience and loyalty.
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: Nana on April 25, 2011, 03:32:09 AM
Happy Days

I am really sorry you have been feeling this way.  I also enjoy your posts and have never judged your decision of NO CONTACT.  I did have to make this same decision some years ago.  I truly believe that a time comes when we have to stop on our tracks and say √čnough"is Enough.  I also believe that sometimes we feel desperate when people tell us..you must have done this or that without even realizing it...when we know honestly and deep  that we did nothing to deserve our love ones (son, daughter, dil, mil) to disrespect us or cut us off.
On the contrary...we took it all....just for the sake of being close to our family.

I do hope you stay...

You have been very honest with us....and that makes you a good person.

My best wishes for you.

Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: Pooh on April 25, 2011, 07:01:48 AM
Umm...also HD and Sheen, I would be sitting next to you eating organic popcorn in that thread.  I haven't had contact with my OS since December.  Haven't seen him in 17 months.  You have more company than you think ladies.

Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: Sheen on April 25, 2011, 07:30:51 AM
Think we will need a bigger bowl of popcorn, perhaps some alcohol as well   ;D
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: Pooh on April 25, 2011, 07:32:48 AM
Well since I can't decide if it's red or white wine that goes with popcorn.....ummm.....jello shots?
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: girlygirl on April 25, 2011, 09:04:20 AM
HD (HappyDays) is gone.  I used the wrong email to get back and failed to find her.  So HD is now girlygirl.   Same person, different username!
   
   First I want to apologize to Luise for any mean that I  (H/D) am responsible for in my posts and emails.
  I was wrong.  That was not my intention, she is truly someone that has helped me immensely to sort things out. 

Your kindness here, is what brought me back.  And I thank you again.  Nana, that was very kind of you to say. 

   I will begin to sound like a broken record soon:  eat organic, remove gluten, make it a priority to get some relaxation in to your daily lives and watch out for toxic "stuff". (may be in the form of a chemical, a fragrance, a food, or hey!! even a person.  You never know when you might develop a sensitivity!!  8)  )

So thanks again.  And Ima gonna pass on the koolaid.   I have heard things.   ;D

Again, I am sorry Luise. 
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: Tara on April 25, 2011, 04:18:47 PM
Oh GIrly Girl,

You had me worried.  I thought you were truely 'gone'
glad your here.
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: lancaster lady on April 26, 2011, 12:42:19 AM
I am unable to drink alcohol of any kind it makes me feel awful......and  yet somedays you feel like a glass of something ,or a pint , or a bucket ......lol
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: Pooh on April 26, 2011, 05:34:30 AM
I actually drink very little.  Maybe a couple of drinks every 2 months?  I've never liked wine, beer or the taste of liquor.  When I have something, it has to be some fruity concoction that hides the taste..Lol.  I'm a lightweight.
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: pam1 on April 26, 2011, 06:09:11 AM
Yeah, I can't stand the taste of alcohol.  That only happened after I had DD.  I do like the taste of some beers but I don't like the film it leaves in my mouth, ick.
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: Tara on April 26, 2011, 08:12:04 AM
I' m a red wine and margarita fan myself, problem is that it makes me get terribly sleepy, so I have to have just a small
amt.  Or be sure to tell the waiter only one shot of tequila in the margarita.  Nothing worse than wanting to go to sleep in
the middle of a dinner party.
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: LaurieS on April 26, 2011, 08:14:02 AM
My favorite is probably not really even wine ...  it's Arbor Mist Sangria ... great for a spring/summer drink.. fantastic with pizza.. stuffed crust, ohhh with lots of pepperoni and mushrooms
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: pam1 on April 26, 2011, 08:17:36 AM
Shirley Temples are my favorite.
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: LaurieS on April 26, 2011, 08:19:12 AM
be brave Pam, cross over... try a Roy Rogers
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: pam1 on April 26, 2011, 08:23:43 AM
What's a Roy Roger?  I like Roy Rogers bark beer.
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: LaurieS on April 26, 2011, 08:32:57 AM
Little boys don't drink Shirley Temples
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: luise.volta on April 26, 2011, 08:49:03 AM
i drink a lot...of water!  ;D I grew up when people drank to lose their inhibitions (or do they still?) Since I don't have any, it seemed like a waste of money and kidneys.  8)
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: pam1 on April 26, 2011, 08:56:10 AM
Hey! Are you calling me a little boy?   ;)
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: Sunny1 on April 26, 2011, 09:06:17 AM
Mind if I join the popcorn eating No Contact thread? I might be sticking to drinking straight Pepsi for awhile though  ;D
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: LaurieS on April 26, 2011, 09:11:02 AM
Sure you can... and you need a place to come and get your mind straight...  welcome.. but I don't eat that organic popcorn stuff myself
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: pam1 on April 26, 2011, 09:14:39 AM
Sunny, wanna a Shirley Temple?   ;D  Watch out for Laurie, she'll try to get you snockered.
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: lancaster lady on April 26, 2011, 10:49:31 AM
you guys are starting the Royal party early ...need to invent a new royal cocktail for the happy couple . :)
Title: Re: What ever happened to...?
Post by: holliberri on April 26, 2011, 11:02:06 AM
LL,

The rag mags were kicking around the name of their supposed favorite drink a while back. (I don't think I should repeat the name here...lest it gets deleted...).

Obsessed. That's all I can say.