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Problem Solving => Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws => Topic started by: Scoop on March 22, 2011, 07:28:48 AM

Title: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Scoop on March 22, 2011, 07:28:48 AM
It looks like we'll be going to see the IL's for Easter and I'm a nervous wreck!  (Already!)

I just typed out and then deleted a bunch of silly reasons to be nervous.  None of them are particularly valid.  I just don't wanna go!  (Wah!  <foot stomp>)

Please tell me it won't go south!  Tell me that the kitten will be fine at home for 2 nights alone.  Tell me that DH will agree with 2 nights away, instead of 3.  Tell me that DD will enjoy Easter egg hunting at the IL's and she won't break any of their doo-dads.  Tell me that the IL's will not go overboard with Easter stuff for her, that they will not expect to hide more treats, that they will give their other grandkids the same treatment as DD (instead of favouring her), that they will get her something appropriate, that she will enjoy, that fits.

Sigh.  I'm so jealous of Holliberri.
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Pooh on March 22, 2011, 07:37:08 AM
Psssh.  The kitten will be fine.  DH will be understanding.  If DD breaks anything, well she's a kid, that's what happens.  The IL's will probably go overboard and give her something they find appropriate that will leave you scratching your head going, "What were they thinking?"

BUT...LOL

You will go knowing all this MIGHT happen and just shrug it off, going "They are who they are!"  Because you know how special you, DH, DD and kitty are and that's all that matters.  And you will be fine.   ;D
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: lancaster lady on March 22, 2011, 10:07:17 AM
Do all DIL  dread going to visit their IL's ?
Makes me feel like a monster ....lol
Just treat us like an eccentric old Auntie , I think it's the title that scares DILs.
People make excuses for an old Aunt's behaviour , so I think I would like to be one of those please . :)
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: AnonymousDIL on March 22, 2011, 10:23:27 AM
Sorry, LL, I'm one of those who is dreading the pending visits with the MIL. lol First Sunday in April for BIL2's surprise 16th B-day Party and then Easter. DH/FIL/BIL2 will be camping that weekend and going straight back to the IL's house (4:00ish). Guests are supposed to arrive at 3:30. Um, 30 minutes alone with MIL and SIL? No, thank you. I think I am going to be late. :-) 
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: holliberri on March 22, 2011, 10:34:55 AM
Scoop,

Deep breaths! Pooh is right, all will be fine. I'm sure the ILs will likely go overboard, but that is their doing, not yours. I was wasting a lot energy being worried/upset about that stuff when either a.) it hadn't happened yet or b.) it happened and no real harm was done.


LL,

I don't think it's inherently natural to be dreading a visit with the ILs. My ILs were find for the first year mostly...it was Christmas 2005 that things really began to sour, when my DH got very ill and no one but me wanted to take him to the hospital. He nearly died, and when I finally convinced them all to take him to the ER, the doctor told us we should never have waited.

After that, after I was left unable to behave like a wife, because I had to defer to his mother.She kept saying, "I'm his mother, I know best. This is just strep throat." It turns out, he had a periotonsular abcess (sp.?) the size of a grapefruit that was blocking his airways and esophaugus. He could not breathe, and despite him signing and me saying we should take him to the hospital...we were ignored for 8 hours.

The truth is, she was being a little self centered and didn't want the perfect Christmas day to be ruined with an emergency. Who really would want that? Dh and I certainly didn't plan that.

Since then, I will never be anywhere near them without  my own vehicle. Since then, I can say our relationship has soured. It's taken 5 years to get over it.

I seriously doubt the MILs on here have behaved like this, so I'm just pointing out that I do believe my "dread" while a waste of energy did have a very real, very valid trigger.

All is well that ends well, but
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: lancaster lady on March 22, 2011, 10:52:46 AM
I am so trying to be like none of the bad MILs listed on this forum .
After reading all the horror stories , I should now know what not to do .
however i am now being included in the wedding plans , so I must be doing something right .
Good luck with your visit HB.
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: holliberri on March 22, 2011, 12:17:38 PM
Scoop,

I didn't seen awful lot of stress specific to your ILs...do you just get stressed before travel in general?

I really do think the kitty will be fine. The kitten will miss you but that just means extra cuddle time when you get back. I do think your DD will like Easter Egg Hunting...that was always fun for us.

And...I do wish I had a little more of your assertiveness than I do have.
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Scoop on March 22, 2011, 12:52:27 PM
It just comes down to being COMPLETELY different. 

They're night owls, so DD (6yo) will stay up late, I will try to stay up, but will eventually go to bed, at which point the IL's start their 'evening'.  MIL will prepare food for the next day, then take a bath, ect, going to bed a good couple of hours after us.

We let our dog sleep with us.  The last time the IL's visited us, they said they had a rough night, trying to keep the dog off the guest bed.  I told them that I certainly didn't mind if their clean little dog slept on our guest bed, but now I wonder if this was an indication that OUR clean little dog shouldn't be sleeping on THEIR guest bed.

DD is an early bird, so she'll be up at 7 am and she'll wake me up.  So we'll sneak downstairs, trying not to wake anyone else up, as they went to bed much later than us.  I usually pack a granola bar or something, so that I don't have to wake up the IL's by rooting through their kitchen for breakfast for DD.  She wakes up HUNGRY on the weekends, because we have breakfast at 6:30 am during the week.

There will be nothing planned for us to do.  If I make plans to do something with SIL & the DN's, I get stink-eye.  The DN's are DD's age and they have SO MUCH FUN together.

If I offer to take DD to the park, we end up going alone, because that's not something that's 'fun' for the IL's.

The meals we will be offered will not be kid friendly.  I will have to ask MIL for raw veggies & bread, so that DD can eat.  It likely won't be something I like either, but I can suck it up better.  The funny thing is that it's not even DH's favourites.  That I could understand.

There will be at least one dig about not seeing us for Christmas.  It will take everything for me to not FLIP OUT on MIL over this.

There will be at least one dig about not seeing us "enough", even though we visited them last, and it's been almost a year since they visited us.

There will be some un-equal treatment somewhere.  My DH is the Golden Child, so he will be fawned over and SIL will be compared to him in a dis-favourable way.  My DD is the Golden-Grandchild, so she will get 'more' Easter junk than the DN's and she will get fawned over and compared to the DN's in a way that makes them look awful.  "Oh DD is SUCH a good eater! <pointed look at DNiece>" ... "Oh DD is SO well behaved. <pointed look at DNephew>"  And it's so unfortunate because SIL and the DN's are really awesome and I love them so much.

I know that I'm expecting the worst, but often, it helps, because if I go in expecting it to be 'okay', I'm always bitterly disappointed.  If the weekend goes well, I will be pleasantly surprised.
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: lancaster lady on March 22, 2011, 01:32:21 PM
Scoop :
Wonder why your MIL can't ask you what you and your DD like to eat .
Also why not lay out breakfast cereals at night as she is up so late .

I always ask my guests not just DIL what are their favourite foods and breakfasts etc., especially the wee one when they have certain likes etc .
Maybe need to sneak in more food , like a school camp ..lol
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: luise.volta on March 22, 2011, 04:55:02 PM
It's going to happen. You are going to be fine. And you are going to come and tell us all about it...including HB! Sending love...
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Pen on March 22, 2011, 05:29:45 PM
I am so trying to be like none of the bad MILs listed on this forum .
After reading all the horror stories , I should now know what not to do .
however i am now being included in the wedding plans , so I must be doing something right .
Good luck with your visit HB.

Good job, LL!!
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Pen on March 22, 2011, 06:09:37 PM
Scoop, it sounds awkward and uncomfortable, but not completely hopeless. Are your ILs unwilling to listen to suggestions regarding food or activities? I'm sorry they can't be more amenable to your needs. Pack snacks and activities...and try not to engage when MIL starts in with her digs. Do you have a phrase you can repeat silently to yourself? You're going to be fine...

Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Scoop on March 23, 2011, 06:19:38 AM
Thanks guys.  I know it's not completely hopeless.  It's more like death by a 1000 papercuts.  No one thing MIL does is ever a deal breaker, but man, they add up to a lot of frustration.

I don't know why MIL won't ask what we like to eat.  When I think rationally, I know that she's not intentionally making stuff we don't like.  I think it's more a matter of her thinking that Everyone likes the same things she likes.  Unfortunately, the side effect of that is that if you don't like the same thing she likes, she perceives it that you don't like HER.  (Pen - does that ring true for how your DIL is?)

Sadly Pen, my mantra is (usually) "Don't mess with me.  You will not win."  Or else I get walked all over.
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: holliberri on March 23, 2011, 06:23:22 AM
Scoop,

I've never engaged my MIL when she digs. I just stare blankly at my plate, TV, magazine, baby, whatever, and don't answer her back.

I'm not sure how effective it is...but I always pretended that if I didn't acknowledge she said it, it is like she really didn't say it at all. I just always thought it was better than asking her what she meant, or yelling at her, or asking her not to say it.

There were p/a digs this weekend as well on the Skype session, but I can't explain what happened...I just did not care that she said it. Because I didn't care, I was able to naturally and quickly change the subject. It doesn't really matter what she says; our plans, life, or dealings with DD just aren't going to change.  To me, that took a lot of the power behind her words away. So, um...er...is there a way to get yourself not to care that she says it?

MIL either knows that I would normally like nothing better than to start yapping like a chihuahua at her, or  has absolutely no idea she's even doing it at all. Might your MIL be the same?
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: seasage on March 23, 2011, 07:13:56 AM
Scoop, all of your posts above dwell on minutiae.  All the tiny little things you hate about MIL, things MIL does that bother you, etc.  No wonder you don't want to go!!!  I'd stay home too if I had that perspective.  If you are so inclined, here are some suggestions to help you out of the rut.

Walk in with armfuls of the most wonderful flowers you can imagine, flowers that YOU like.  Then you can sit around all weekend in a room filled with flowers you love.

Go outside your MIL's house and find trees, flowers, birds to commune with.  Enjoy them.

Bring Easter baskets full of your favorite goodies for all the kids who will be present.  Let DD give away those baskets.  Enjoy the faces of all the children you have made happy.

Write down everything HB does to avoid getting tripped up by her MIL.  Take that paper out of your pocket and kiss it every now and then.

Remember that WW has given you angel wings and we expect you to hover with grace, not allowing yourself to be dragged into the fray, but instead swooshing fresh breezes on all the proceedings.
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Scoop on March 23, 2011, 07:59:09 AM
Thank you Seasage for reminding me to focus on the positive.

We'll get to see SisIL, BIL and their kids.  I love my SisIL (DH's sister) so much, she's such a nice person.  We already have Easter treats lined up for the kids.

Flowers eh?  I'll see what I can do.  Bunches of tulips would be lovely.

And Holliberri, I will try to detach and just not care what she says.  It's true, it doesn't matter, because she doesn't have a 'say' in how we do things.
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Pen on March 23, 2011, 10:01:18 AM
Thanks guys.  I know it's not completely hopeless.  It's more like death by a 1000 papercuts.  No one thing MIL does is ever a deal breaker, but man, they add up to a lot of frustration.

I don't know why MIL won't ask what we like to eat.  When I think rationally, I know that she's not intentionally making stuff we don't like.  I think it's more a matter of her thinking that Everyone likes the same things she likes.  Unfortunately, the side effect of that is that if you don't like the same thing she likes, she perceives it that you don't like HER.  (Pen - does that ring true for how your DIL is?)

Sadly Pen, my mantra is (usually) "Don't mess with me.  You will not win."  Or else I get walked all over.

Visits with my DF & SM are like that - they can be clueless and self-centered. Imagine planning activities that include bad (but earnest) interpretive dance, "message" folk singers (again, bad but earnest) and a yummy pot luck of things like lentils, tempeh and goat meat? Perhaps a lovely outing for the adults but certainly not for the kiddoes. My kids were fairly adventurous about food, but that was a bit much. Don't even ask about the available food back at DF & SM's house.

Scoop, my DIL may see things that way. We don't criticize her, we go to the restaurants she likes, cook her favorites, and adjust our activities to her preferences so I haven't gotten any specific input on that. Perhaps our low-key lifestyle is seen as a statement about her high-powered, high-maintainence one. Mostly she criticizes/doesn't like us. We think she's great (except for the not liking us part.)

You might consider a new mantra....perhaps one that puts a Mona Lisa-type, enigmatic smile on your face rather than a glare?  ;)
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: tryingmybest on March 23, 2011, 12:23:48 PM
goat meat? Yikes.. :o

"Mostly she criticizes/doesn't like us. We think she's great (except for the not liking us part.)" Lady you are a hoot! She should thank her lucky stars to have you in her life!

Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: misunderstood on March 29, 2011, 03:31:00 PM
I love Seasages suggestions, how positive.

I've also in the past brought things out of my fridge that DD eats but are unlikely to be in house we're visitng by saying - well they needed using up and by commenting very favourably on the dishes we prefer.

I've also done the its lovely of you to have us how about I cook tonight - sometimes works and sometimes doesn't but might help on food preferences as even cooking the same dish a different way can be off putting for a young or fussier child.

When negative comments are directed at others try and find a positive to say about the person child in question. 
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: LaurieS on March 29, 2011, 03:52:50 PM
You know with my mil and mom.. I would say.. are you crazy  what kid is going to eat that stuff.. really now, if we can't fix a normal meal, then I'll take them to McDonalds and they will think I'm trying for Mother of the Year.
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: pam1 on March 29, 2011, 04:08:25 PM
You guys are such good MIL's.  I must have been horrible in a past life to get this lottery.  Not only are my eating preferences made fun of (they call me a snob and an elitist) they are also simply not offered to me.  LOL.  When I host, I make sure I cook their way and have something for everyone.  But nope, no way...can't do it for Pam.  She's just an east coast snob. 
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: LaurieS on March 29, 2011, 04:12:07 PM
lol are you demanding grilled fish tacos with a la minced escargot sauce, topped with organic lettuce  is only spun dry?
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: LaurieS on March 29, 2011, 04:16:47 PM
seriously Pam.. what types of food do you tend to eat?  I really do want to know. .. we've chuckled over a few things that my fdil eats.. but we do it all in a good natured way.. I hope.  but really who munches on dried seaweed as a snack and how was I suppose to just have that in my pantry?
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: pam1 on March 29, 2011, 04:17:06 PM
Only the best for me!  But dang, that does sound good. 

No, I don't even request anything.  I just don't eat meat, really.  No one usually has a problem with it cause I can eat side dishes and I'm fine so I rarely ever have to request special meals cause I just work around it.  But oh no, ALL sides must have meat in it.  Even salads, must have meat.  I think she even made homemade oatmeal with meat in it once, ham or something.  And I'm not even a vegetarian for humanitarian purposes, I just can't eat it, never really have been able too.

So on top of that, they will talk about all the elitist vegetarians (I swear, this is a hot topic for them) and how they are all sickly and pale.  LOL, when I'm like 50 shades darker than them.  lol, it's just so funny.  Every time, every dinner.  Ugh.
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: pam1 on March 29, 2011, 04:20:11 PM
seriously Pam.. what types of food do you tend to eat?  I really do want to know. .. we've chuckled over a few things that my fdil eats.. but we do it all in a good natured way.. I hope.  but really who munches on dried seaweed as a snack and how was I suppose to just have that in my pantry?

Hah, dried seaweed lol...that reminds me of this girl I went to boarding school with from Indonesia.  She came back to school from vacation and asked me if I wanted to try some Indonesian candy...of course, Pam never turns down sweets.  It was dried octupus lol. 

I basically just eat seafood, veg and fruit.  I must be a freak cause even as a kid I would order a salad at McDonalds instead of burgers and stuff.  But...oh, I like sweets. 

Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: LaurieS on March 29, 2011, 04:27:11 PM
I'm one of these that always tries to make what everyone likes.. if I'm missing one kid for a period of time I find myself even making his favorite meal...  lol ham in the oatmeal.. reminds me of the recipe I saw yesterday for chocolate chip bacon cookies
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Pen on March 29, 2011, 06:41:54 PM
WW, I must apologize for sounding small-minded on my post from a few days ago, even though no one has made a point of speaking up about it. I realized after I posted that I sounded like I was critical of the food that was served at the pot luck my DF & SM invited us to. Far from it - DH & I have friends from all over the globe and from many traditions who share wonderful, if unfamiliar, food to us. We're both very curious and eager to find out about the food of all cultures. My point was about taking little kids into consideration when planning activities. If I offended anyone I am so very sorry.
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: LaurieS on March 29, 2011, 06:59:38 PM
Oh Pen... I don't think you could insult us if you tried :)  Your post made perfect sense.

I'm not that great of a cook so our menu is a little more limited.. tonight dh is having dinner in a can... lol he's so patient at times
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: pam1 on March 29, 2011, 07:05:01 PM
Pen, I don't think you sounded small minded at all.  It did make sense, it's a know your audience type of thing and clearly your DF/SM didn't want to or care to.  It really doesn't matter what the food was, it was clear that kids and their guests wouldn't eat it.  I know exactly where you're coming from. 

Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: holliberri on March 30, 2011, 05:18:59 AM
seriously Pam.. what types of food do you tend to eat?  I really do want to know. .. we've chuckled over a few things that my fdil eats.. but we do it all in a good natured way.. I hope.  but really who munches on dried seaweed as a snack and how was I suppose to just have that in my pantry?

Um, I do. It is in my pantry. I make california rolls all the time for dinner. Seaweed is a staple around here.  :)
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: holliberri on March 30, 2011, 05:21:49 AM
Oh, Pen! You didn't sound small-minded at all. I really thought you were just explaining that kids are picky eaters and goat meat might not be a suitable option for the kids used to mac n cheese and fruit slices (not that that's what your kids ate, but I remember that being the only 2 things I ate for a time period when I was about 4-6).
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Pen on March 30, 2011, 07:03:39 AM
Thanks guys.

The kids did like mac n' cheese, but I always made it from scratch; it wasn't what their friends were used to, LOL, so we were "weird." BTW, we eat seaweed all the time. There's a seaweed salad already prepared at the Asian market that is so yummy. We like the toasted seaweed snacks as well...and kelp protects your thyroid so it's all good!

I'm proud to say my adult children eat just about anything from just about anywhere now. Birria tacos (I guess the pot luck was a good thing), grilled octopus, caviar, blood sausage, etc.
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Barbie on March 30, 2011, 07:05:31 AM
Scoop,

These are all little things that you can prepare for ahead of time.

After reading your post I wonder if my DIL feels the same way about me. I do things different than most people, I’m very set in my ways and I’m a perfectionist but the truth is I don’t think that makes me a bad person and I don’t mean to make anyone uncomfortable, it just makes it harder on myself.

I’m also a very picky eater, always have been and I put everyone’s likes ahead of mine. I think you'll be fine, if anyone can handle it you can.
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: pam1 on March 30, 2011, 07:10:13 AM
What is blood sausage?

And why do I live so far away from all you guys that can cook like this?  I love sushi, rolls and all that.  No idea how to make it though and I don't even know what I'm eating half the time, I just get one of those trays lol.  Why are we all so far apart?
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Pooh on March 30, 2011, 07:14:38 AM
Ohhhhh yuckkkk blood sausage.  You don't want to know Pam...trust me.

I am not a picky eater, but I have a rule.  I don't eat anything that I wouldn't be willing to touch when it's alive!

Pam, I married into a family of vegetarians and vegans (religious thing), and I have to get creative when we have dinners.  I am a carnivore and very southern, so we believe in cooking everything with bacon, bacon or sausage grease and ham for flavors.  I have had to learn to cook dishes without it when we are eating with them.  But that's the bottom line here.  I do it because it's the right thing to do for them.  I respect their lifestyle and always take dishes to their events that are vegetarian and cook all vegetarian when I invite them to mine.  (I'm not so good with the vegan thing yet.)
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Scoop on March 30, 2011, 07:24:34 AM
But Barbie, do you look down on your DIL because she's NOT a perfectionist?  That's part of our problem too, the things that are important to MIL, are not important to me.  If we could agree to disagree, there wouldn't be a problem.  But if I don't do what MIL does, she takes it personally.

As for the food, it's not so much about being a picky eater.  The one time, DNiece (who lives locally) stayed at the IL's when we were visiting, as a companion to DD.  (OMG - they had SO MUCH FUN together!)  MIL made "chinese food" for supper.  There was not ONE THING that DN would eat, not ONE.  And this is the GK that is LOCAL.  There was very little for DD, it was all saucy with mushrooms and onions.  MIL can have grown-up food for supper 7 days a week, when her GK's are NOT visiting.  And without even changing her menu too much, she could have had some plain white rice.  As it was, I had to ASK her to get out the baby carrots from the fridge.

I'm not asking MIL to prepare 2 meals.  MIL and I come from the same general culture, neither of us have any dietary restrictions, other than likes & dislikes.  There is a VAST overlap in what would be considered good food by everyone.  DD is a kid, she likes plain things, nothing mixed together and raw veggies.  She doesn't like onions, mushrooms or anything spicy.  I think this is pretty 'normal' for a kid's diet and not very hard to accommodate.  Especially considering this is not a strange child, but a favourite grandchild.

I think it's also the disconnect between MIL saying "I'm the Gma, I *get* to spoil DD." but then, not spoiling her when it comes to meals.

Oh man!  I just re-read my first paragraph.  Hmm, gee, MIL is not doing what I (expect her to) do, and I'm taking it personally!  CRUD!  I knew we were too similar to get along but MAN that stings.

Thanks guys!  This board has helped me so much.
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Pooh on March 30, 2011, 07:30:29 AM
Scoop, I don't think that is it at all in your case.  I guess technically it could be an expectation, but I just see it as common sense.  When we used to get couples together on weekends to play cards with their children in tow, I always fixed things the kids would eat, in addition to adult foods.  Even when we had simple spaghetti, I made one sauce with adult things, peppers, mushrooms, etc and another that was plain meat and sauce for the kids.  It doesn't have to be two entirely seperate meals.  We made hamburgers with all kinds of junk in them for the adults when we grilled, and just plain hamburgers for the kids.

I don't think you are being unreasonable...at all!

Ha!  Maybe that's it....common sense!
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: pam1 on March 30, 2011, 07:33:11 AM
Pooh, lol that's how DH and I are.  He cooks like you.  We take turns and learned how to compromise on food.  If there is something I can truly not stomach I just eat leftovers or stuff in the fridge.  And for guests, we cook for them and their likes.  The problem is that it's not really reciprocated.  I understand that I'm the minority, but it just kind of stinks every dinner or even holiday that I'm stuck with food I really can't eat.  I don't say anything and just find something but I guess it's just another one of those things that is done that isn't really appreciated or acknowledged by the in laws.  They can't even see when I do try b/c it's not like I'm vegetarian for a reason, just don't like the taste, so I try everything. 
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Pooh on March 30, 2011, 07:38:12 AM
Snack pack pudding in your purse?  That's what I would do and my own spoon.  Then I would whip it out and start eating it at dinner.  When they said something, I would just smile and say, "I'm sorry.  I appreciate everything you do, but since I am vegetarian, I know it's hard to make things just for me.  So I figured out how to not inconvenience you."

Ok, I'm not helping.....
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: holliberri on March 30, 2011, 07:39:40 AM
LOL, Pooh. I know passive aggression can be bad thing, but  sometimes it feels SOOOO right. Haha. That made me laugh.
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: holliberri on March 30, 2011, 07:41:36 AM
...and actually, it's probably warranted where one will have to starve in lieu of it.
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Pooh on March 30, 2011, 07:59:31 AM
It does feel good sometimes, although I know I shouldn't either.

I just got a picture of Pam pulling out snack pack pudding, a spoon, those little individual packs of cheezits, oreos, chips and piling it in front of her, so she can have a meal.

Ok....I'm still not helping....... ;D
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: holliberri on March 30, 2011, 08:00:11 AM
Yes you are, you're helping  me giggle through the last bit of training I have.
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Pooh on March 30, 2011, 08:02:04 AM
Wait!  If you offer to share your snack pack, does that make it more considerate?  Stick a six pack in there and offer spoons?
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: holliberri on March 30, 2011, 08:04:27 AM
Ya know, wouldn't it be great if like, 3 family members looked at the  dinner and said, "Blech, pass the pudding?"
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Pooh on March 30, 2011, 08:05:31 AM
Ha ha ha...now you have me giggling
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Scoop on March 30, 2011, 08:32:42 AM
Okay, I'm laughing too, because I'm thinking of how big my purse would have to be!  And how funny it would be for me to drag this piece of luggage to the table!
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: pam1 on March 30, 2011, 09:11:59 AM
You guys are funny lol.  I eat what I can, it's just the dang principle of it.  And the fact that it's not just one meal in a day, she wants to do all 3 meals.  It's all just so overwhelming. 
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: luise.volta on March 30, 2011, 09:31:43 AM
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Pooh on March 30, 2011, 10:16:18 AM
Oh great...thanks Scoop!  Now I have a visual of you dragging in one of those backpacks on wheels to the table.
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: LaurieS on March 30, 2011, 10:36:49 AM
You guys are funny lol.  I eat what I can, it's just the dang principle of it.  And the fact that it's not just one meal in a day, she wants to do all 3 meals.  It's all just so overwhelming.

Yes Pam, she could and should.... can't you feel all the love and sympathy we have going for you here :) 

If you were here, I'd make you shrimp on the barbie .. I think that's how they say it in Australia .. we'd follow that with a multitude of meatless side dishes and fermented fruit juice.  I'm leaving dessert to Scoop and Pooh.
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Pooh on March 30, 2011, 10:53:55 AM
Homemade red velvet cake with fresh cream cheese frosting?
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: LaurieS on March 30, 2011, 10:55:30 AM
Homemade red velvet cake with fresh cream cheese frosting?

Yeah that's it lets load her up with some red dye #40
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Pooh on March 30, 2011, 10:58:11 AM
Like she'll care after you liquor her up....
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: LaurieS on March 30, 2011, 11:00:18 AM
yeah but drunk and poisoned I'll bet she balks when Pen comes running over to feed her some of that nasty sounding blood sausage (I'm not even doing a web search for that)
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Pooh on March 30, 2011, 11:05:17 AM
Let's just say it's exactly what it sounds like.  And you better like the Twilight series.....
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: pam1 on March 30, 2011, 02:07:50 PM
OMG...

Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Barbie on April 03, 2011, 08:32:21 AM

You ladies are too funny!

Scoop,

I just read this and had to think really hard for the answer. I don’t look down at DIL although she may think I do, I wish I knew how she felt, we don’t talk, she won’t talk to any of us, the little bit that I know about her are things that DS has told me as she wants nothing to do with us, she won't even come around any more. She’s a perfectionist in her own way, DS says DIL and I have a lot in common, it could be that we're too much alike, trying to look back, I don’t know how things got to where they are now, I never thought we would get to the point of not speaking and DS doesn’t know how to handle the situation. 

I'm not sure why your MIL doesn't take under consideration what you guys like to eat, maybe she thinks it's something you guys like but won't make yourselves, we have someone in the family that prepared weird foods like that thinking it was a real treat for everyone that we wouldn't make because it was very time consuming. And why she doesn't have any treats for the grandchildren beats me but I'm sure she's not trying to be mean, maybe she wants them to learn to eat a little bit of everything. I don't know how old your MIL is but back in the days, kids didn't have all the choices they have now, they ate whatever was on the table.
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Pen on April 03, 2011, 04:32:04 PM
yeah but drunk and poisoned I'll bet she balks when Pen comes running over to feed her some of that nasty sounding blood sausage (I'm not even doing a web search for that)

The blood sausage I had wasn't nasty at all. It was light and fluffy, no bloody blood anywhere. The name is gross, I admit.
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: LaurieS on April 03, 2011, 04:36:42 PM
Pen.. I'm afraid that the name alone would stop me from trying it.  At what type of event did you try this gourmet treat?
Title: Re: I'm so jealous of Holliberri!
Post by: Pen on April 03, 2011, 04:40:13 PM
Dinner out with friends from a country south of the border.