March 28, 2024, 11:55:42 AM

News:

"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


Show posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Topics - gezeebezee

1
My adult daughter (29 years) was discharged from the hospital at the end of October after being there for close to 100 days.  She had a staph infection that attached itself to her heart and attacked her lungs.  She had been sharing a duplex with another woman and became very sick and delirious.  I took her to the emergency room where a doctor told me that she might not make it.  She did after having open heart surgery to replace a valve, right leg and left foot amputation, and had her pleural cavity scraped during a VATS procedure.  It is a miracle she survived.  She was an on again off again heroin addict, and it is assumed this infection was caused from the use of a dirty needle.
While she was in the hospital she was so appreciative of me and her father.  Always apologizing for what she had put us through and expressing her love.  I stayed with her the entire hospital stay.  Now that she is back home she has turned on me in the worst way.  She refuses to take care of herself.  When I suggest something (like brush your teeth or shower) she screams at me to leave her alone.  She tells me I am controlling and that I have a mental problem.  Before Christmas I had given her some money to buy gifts.  She went shopping with a girlfriend and bought gifts for her dad, her girlfriend, and a young man that has been coming around but nothing for mom.  Christmas Eve when she opened her gifts she left the room and went into the bathroom and cried her eyes out because I wouldn't give her a phone back that had dope dealers numbers and all kinds of distasteful content on it (I had the service to the phone turned off). When she came back into the living room I made a comment about the crying over the phone.  She went into a tirade and ended up spitting on me.
She continues to be hateful and demeaning towards me.  I went to counselling and the dr. didn't really give me any suggestions on how to deal with her.
She is currently working on having a prosthetic fitted but most of the time uses a wheel chair.  She is always late for appointments even though I try to get her up in plenty of time. If I try to hurry her along she just screams at me and throws something at me.  I make her appointments late in the day because she sleeps a lot.     
She tells her friends how horrible I am (not that I care about what her friends think).  She uses and manipulates her so called friends so that she can get around and "get away from mother".  I have done nothing but help her any way I can including providing health insurance for her. 
It just makes me sad.