WiseWomenUnite.com

General Category => Grab Bag => Topic started by: belarus on June 26, 2013, 05:08:57 PM

Title: lesbian relationships
Post by: belarus on June 26, 2013, 05:08:57 PM
my daughter is 18 years old now, since 17 years old she got involved with the lesbian girl who is 21 years old. She kept everything a secret, but  now it is not a secret anymore. She practically lives with her, comes home just to spend a few hours at night. I cannot accept the relationships. Is there anything I could do? She is disrespectful toward me, she lost her best friend because she wants to spend her time only near her girlfriend.
Title: Re: lesbian relationships
Post by: luise.volta on June 26, 2013, 08:30:51 PM
B - Welcome! Please go to our Home Page and read the three posts for "newbies" under Open Me First. The Forum Agreement is especially important, so you can see if WWU is a fit. We have a monitored site. We ask this of every new member. Thanks.

I think it is hard for most of us to get that our AC get to make their own choices and learn from the consequences...or not. It's not up to us to appprove or disapprove...and if we disapprove and let them know it, they may think we are not being respectful of them. I know it was really hard for me when my eldest son hit 18 and marched off the Viet Nam via the Marine Corps. I was so opposed to it that I could hardly stand it.
Title: Re: lesbian relationships
Post by: Pooh on June 27, 2013, 12:30:05 PM
Welcome Belarus.  I would say that since you can not accept the relationship, being disrespectful to you is her way of lashing out at you.  That's just a total guess on my part.  You have the right to decide if you can accept the relationship or not, and she gets the right to accept if she will accept your non-acceptance (boy, that was a mouthful).

To me, I see this as the same situation that if your daughter was living with a male, that was doing something you couldn't accept.  Like dealing drugs or something.  You would get to make the choice there as well if you would accept the relationship and she would probably be disrespectful about that too.

I am, in my own life, willing to accept certain things, and not willing to accept other things.  I have to accept the consequences of my choices just like they have to.