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Problem Solving => Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws => Topic started by: meanlady on May 29, 2011, 07:34:52 PM

Title: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: meanlady on May 29, 2011, 07:34:52 PM
FDIL called in a panic today.  She was traveling down the four lane interstate with her mother on their way to a function and she saw an abandoned kitten in the middle by the concrete median.  It was too late for her to turn around and try to rescue it because there were no close exits and she was taking her mom to a book singing for her mom's bday. Nevermind FDIL and son grudgingly have a minute to spend with me on my birthday!    She was wanting me to go out for her and try to find the kitten in the middle of a very busy four lane highway!   >:(  It so happened that I was leaving shortly and was going to be traveling that way but I also had plans and an arranged time to meet with my niece.    I packed the cat carrier and some thick gloves and proceeded on my way.   My logical mind took over and  I thought about how dangerous this little rescue could be so I made up my mind I would not stop unless I saw the kitten and it looked like I could safely rescue it.   I slowed down to 50 in the farthest lane but I did not see the kitten.   When I call DIL and told her I didn't see the kitten she sounded upset that I hadn't pulled off to the left hand median and walked the median for her.    She started going on about how her tickets to the book signing were $35 and she really didn't want to miss her event with her mother.   Like I should turn around and walk the dangerous highway for her?   Guess she knows who in beneficuary on my life insurance?    ;D  I might what to change my paperwork?   ;D  Called this evening to see if she went back to check on kitten and of course my she and my son were at the big birthday bash for her mother.  I asked about kitten and she curtly responded that she would rather not talk about it.  Guess I am in the doghouse again but at least I am alive.  ;D ;D
Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: Pen on May 29, 2011, 07:42:54 PM
Too much! This story belongs in a movie or sitcom. I'm so glad you didn't endanger your life over this, MeanLady. We kind of like having you around!

We get similar treatment from our DIL although no kitten rescues so far.

Woof.
Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: holliberri on May 29, 2011, 07:48:01 PM
I imagine if the kitten was that important to her, she would have turned around. I would haves, lol. I think it was awfully nice of you to at least take the pet carrier. I would think common sense would tell her that kitten could be anywhere by the, time you drove past.
Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: luise.volta on May 29, 2011, 08:02:39 PM
Oh, my you are one mean lady! How is she ever going to be able to forgive you for not doing what she should have done if it was that important to her. (I think you went way beyond the call of duty with the carrier, the gloves and an attempt to find it.)
Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: Kennedy on May 29, 2011, 08:31:37 PM
What???You wouldn't stop and run along a 4 lane freeway for her hunting a cat? Shame on you!! LOL!! Goodness gracious.. How old is this young lady? Sounds about like one of mine though. She's young enough to really think that anyone in her life was put here on earth to do what she needs and wants.. Wow!! Your story made my night!!
Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: meanlady on May 29, 2011, 08:40:00 PM
I am just grateful i can see the humor in this story:).  Learning how to b a wise woman and not feeling guilty about things i can't fix.   Thank all of you amazingly strong women!
Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: lancaster lady on May 30, 2011, 12:24:20 AM
We are always totally aware of someone who has treated us badly .
Once bitten ....twice shy !
Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: Keys Girl on May 30, 2011, 07:58:24 AM
I love being in the doghouse.  I lock the door from the inside and enjoy the peace and quiet :-)

Might be an idea to change that life insurance and leave the money to a pet shelter.

Expect more ridiculous requests, and make sure to have the phone number of the State Police/Fire Department handy so you can pass it on to her and she can dial their number, cause they have sirens!

Glad you are OK.

Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: Pooh on May 30, 2011, 08:36:20 AM
Above and beyond you went considering it was her quest to go fulfill if she wanted to.  Let her eat cake!  (Oh wait, she already did..)
Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: tryingmybest on May 30, 2011, 09:10:08 AM
That is classic!  ::)
Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: overwhelmed123 on May 31, 2011, 10:01:47 AM
She is clearly VERY self-involved, but I don't think there was an ulterior motive there.  I hope life will teach her some tough, but necessary lessons!
Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: Keys Girl on May 31, 2011, 10:48:37 AM
I agree with Donna, look at your wills but more importantly your next of kin info at your doctor's office, etc.

Would you want these warring relations showing up at the hospital if you were in a car accident? 

Would you want these warring relations choosing a rehab home or a retirement home? I would suggest putting all these delicate issues into the hand of an attorney who will keep them confidential and follow your wishes should something unexpected happen to you.

Of course, don't mention this to anyone, knowlege is power and this could be used as a further reason for hostilities.

As the girl guides used to say "Be Prepared".

Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: Joyce Mitchell on May 31, 2011, 02:45:42 PM
Oh My the things that they can figure to expect from us.  This story is just redicuous!!! I am not saying that I don't believe it because I do.  If your DIL was so worried about a kitten on the highway she might hae thought twice about the book signing but no she called you.  Gotta say your a better woman than I because I might have gone a total different direction than where the cat was spotted.  I am an animal lover and have 2 dogs of my own whom I love. Unbelievable that she could even think to put your life in danger for a stray cat. I am glad to hear you never found the cat and if you did where you suppose to drop it at her house so that she could care for it??? Take care of yourself and your insurance policies.  Maybe you should leave your fortune to all the stray cats in the world :P. Just sayin........
Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: overwhelmed123 on May 31, 2011, 04:07:49 PM
So I can't figure it out, do you honestly think she was trying to get you killed, or was that part a joke?  Some of the responses have taken it seriously, which surprises me, so I thought I'd just ask.
Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: Pen on May 31, 2011, 04:27:28 PM
OW, I don't think anyone seriously said that; it's just that being injured or killed is a possibility if one gets out of one's car and walks around on an interstate highway, and it is assumed MeanLady's DIL would know that. I don't think DIL gave her MIL's safety a second thought, frankly, but I also don't think she had an evil plan to get MIL out of the picture.
Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: meanlady on May 31, 2011, 04:36:52 PM
I don't think she was trying to kill me. :D LOL!  I think I was close to the highway and she knows I am an animal lover and I will bend over backwards for most people.  I normally don't hear from her at all because she is BFF with my ex-husbands new wife.   FDIL barely looks me in the eye and tolerates me only on holidays.  My relationship with ex and his wife is not the best!   Ex was a cocaine alcoholic who abandoned us when kids were young and all he left behind was an STD.  LOL!  No child support and his drunk new wife tells me what a bad mom I was even though she never had kids and she was with my ex during his deadbeat years.  My son is just like his dad so I am sure FDIL will have her share of hard knocks. :'(
Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: Keys Girl on May 31, 2011, 06:39:44 PM
I never for a second thought that anyone was trying to kill anyone else.......my apologies if anyone got that impression.

My sole purpose in posting what I did was to agree with Donna and point out that everyone's paperwork should be ready for any type of unexpected event.
Since this whole website is devoted to helping women deal with contentious relationships, it doesn't make sense to overlook the legal aspect that could suddenly be called into play.  It's a prudent course of action, one that many people forget to change or want to deal with.







Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: holliberri on May 31, 2011, 07:10:50 PM
Oh, I think it is pretty wise for all of us to do that. Even if you have it done, the paperwork should be dusted off once in awhile for an update. It's so easy to forget and it's not a pleasant thought to begin with, that a lot of people put it off.
Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: Keys Girl on May 31, 2011, 08:01:58 PM
I have to say it crossed my mind, if there was a kitten......... how did it get onto a median through lanes of traffic? without getting injured and not wind up on YouTube?

I would keep my distance from her, take care of yourself first and leave the rescuing of anyone and everyone else to the professionals.
Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: Pooh on June 01, 2011, 05:43:11 AM
Quote from: Keys Girl on May 31, 2011, 08:01:58 PM
I have to say it crossed my mind, if there was a kitten......... how did it get onto a median through lanes of traffic? without getting injured and not wind up on YouTube?

I would keep my distance from her, take care of yourself first and leave the rescuing of anyone and everyone else to the professionals.

It always boggles my mind too Keys, but we have it happen here at least 2-3 times a year. (Our jurisdiction includes a big interstate).  I don't know how they manage to get across without getting killed.  We send animal control, which has lights and equipped to deal with the traffic and animal.  They normally also get a couple of officers too to help with traffic and to let people know something is happening.  It never fails, if the animal is skiddish, they run straight back into traffic when the control officer tries to lure it.  That's actually when it get really dangerous.
Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: luise.volta on June 01, 2011, 07:36:24 AM
Well, that's the answer. She should have called 911. Or if she called you, then it was your turn to call them. I honestly didn't know they answered calls for animals in distress. Thanks, Pooh!
Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: pam1 on June 01, 2011, 07:56:40 AM
Eh, I probably would have gone out there for it but then again no one ever said I was super bright lol.  We grew up catching and taking in strays so it really didn't strike me as something serious.  I know the highway is dangerous so if I couldn't get out there -- I would have just called animal control.
Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: Pooh on June 01, 2011, 08:58:41 AM
Quote from: luise.volta on June 01, 2011, 07:36:24 AM
Well, that's the answer. She should have called 911. Or if she called you, then it was your turn to call them. I honestly didn't know they answered calls for animals in distress. Thanks, Pooh!

Yes, they will.  IF they have animal control.  Many rural areas don't have animal control departments, but I don't know of any that have an animal control department that wouldn't go on a call like that.
Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: pam1 on June 01, 2011, 09:11:20 AM
Firefighters will go out there too. 
Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: Pooh on June 01, 2011, 09:15:33 AM
Not here they will not anymore.
Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: Pooh on June 01, 2011, 12:05:59 PM
We have many of those here too Donna, but all of ours are privately funded by individuals and organizations.  I'm not disagreeing with you, I do value human life in the scenario you gave above an animal, but I also see where each individual has the right to decide where their money goes.  I have also seen in my profession where individuals have tortured animals on purpose for fun.  In that scenario, I value the animal over the individual.
Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: lcollins on June 15, 2011, 08:59:15 AM
dont let it bother you. you tried. what else were you supposed to do. at least you didnt throw up your hands and say who cares?! lol
Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: MotherOf3 on June 19, 2011, 06:28:41 AM
Wow... I'm almost speechless.  :o  I would have laughed in her face (or in her ear).  Seriously?  You saw a kitten on the freeway and want me to go find it and rescue it?  I am as sympathetic as the next person but that is beyond strange.  And if she had the nerve to say that I was in the wrong for NOT doing it then I would kindly point out that SHE was the one that (supposedly) saw the kitten but couldn't take the time to miss an oh-so-important book signing to rescue it herself.

I find that people are often too willing to insist that others follow their ideas of what should be done, even if they themselves find it inconvenient to do so.  If she was that concerned then it was up to her to take responsibility for it.
Title: Re: ulterior motive? LOL!
Post by: justanoldgrandma on June 19, 2011, 10:40:29 AM
This is something else!  I can't say anything about your FDIL that I haven't already said...... wow!

Hopefully one f these days she will grow up and not be so sulky; probably when her own DD or DIL treats her that way!  You know, you reap what you sow!

BTW, I wasn't sure about what you meant by the paperwork (changing it) but if you really meant having her in the will or as part of power of attorney along w ds (I'm assuming all this as I don't know your history), when my dh & I finally made out a will, we gave power of attorney and left only to them what little assets may be left at our deaths.....

My sis asked, what about your dil (had only one then.)  Are you leaving her out?  We simply said, yes, ds can make out a will and leave his assets to her and any children.  In case of divorce, ds should provide for children and alimony if divorce calls for it.  (We didn't go into any of that.)

We already know dil was seriously unstable and even if she had been, w the divorce rate so high, I would hesitate leaving half of the assets to the dil bc you never know when or if the marriage might not make it...... since a divorce may occur for ds, so glad we did this bc otherwise we'd probably forget to change the will and the ex dil would get some assets (no children involved) and well, ds will need whatever is left when we die!

I'm sorry to turn this comical yet insulting sitcom into a serious discussion of wills/power of attorney esp. if that's not what you meant.....just glad we decided ds alone would be the inherited one.....

I know many of you have wonderful dils and want them to be in the will, so please ignore this should be the case!

(again, you may not have meant that!)  I just mentioned it bc the lawyer asked if we wanted dil in the will/power of attorney, and we said, uh, no!