I think in many cases our children/GKs have come to 'expect' our gifts, because that's what we've always done. AND, if they have established a pattern of not giving us anything, even 'thanks', that continues, too.
A card? Those things are from another era - bygones.
I know it hurts, but have come to realize that my children/GKs are focused on themselves now. It might change as they get older, and then, maybe not. I remind myself that I give to show love, not to get anything back. But when it becomes a source of aggravation and even anger, I will stop, because I don't want to participate in bringing misery into my own heart.
Sounds like you are at the crossroad already and it feels strange to choose a different way.
For me, I would consider having family gift, such as flowers or food, delivered, letting them all know I was thinking of them and loved them.
Lastly, my town has many who are impoverished and there are ways to help them, so, I am blessed by giving to those who really appreciate it, yet they can give nothing back. It's a matter of the heart.
Blessings and peace to you through holidays!