WiseWomenUnite.com

Problem Solving => Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws => Topic started by: pam1 on June 02, 2011, 06:20:35 AM

Title: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: pam1 on June 02, 2011, 06:20:35 AM
If you request your membership to be deleted, your request will be complied with along with permanent banning from WWU. If you need a break from the board, by all means take a break.  In escalating your personal situation into a public announcement to revoke membership is pot stirring and unneeded.  You are responsible for your posting habits and comfort level.  Not Luise, not the Mods.  *You* 

Should you resign up under another username we can't stop you.  However, if we catch you it is automatic banning. 

Second, emails.  It has come to my attention that emails off board have been used to intimidate and harass posters.  Please be aware in posting your email for public knowledge that this could happen -- it is the internet after all.  If you do find this happening to you please contact a Mod to rectify the situation.

Any questions?
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: overwhelmed123 on June 02, 2011, 06:22:57 AM
Yes- why was Laurie banned then, I didn't see a thread from her that was an announcement.  Did I miss it?
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: pam1 on June 02, 2011, 06:26:10 AM
Laurie requested her membership be terminated. 

Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: overwhelmed123 on June 02, 2011, 06:28:40 AM
Then she was banned, why is there a big Area 51 cover up going on about it?
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: pam1 on June 02, 2011, 06:30:49 AM
No, she asked her membership to be revoked.  She chose to leave, it is her choice and it was respected.
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: overwhelmed123 on June 02, 2011, 06:32:57 AM
Right- and then she was told she was permanently banned, but she didn't post a thread about it so I'm wondering what the excuse is there. Are you part of the cover up, too, or were you just not told what really happened?
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: overwhelmed123 on June 02, 2011, 06:34:34 AM
Oh, the software.  It was the software the whole time. Silly me!
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: pam1 on June 02, 2011, 06:36:02 AM
The forum software cannot tell the difference between a real "ban" and when a member terminates on their own.  Therefore it is permanent.  There is no cover up, no conspiracy.  Laurie emailed Kirk directly to have her membership deleted, her request was complied with.  End of story.
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: overwhelmed123 on June 02, 2011, 06:37:56 AM
And there was nothing that led up to that, right?
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: pam1 on June 02, 2011, 06:42:05 AM
I trust Laurie had her reasons for requesting her membership canceled.

Are you suggesting that the site not comply with a posters wishes concerning their account? 
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: overwhelmed123 on June 02, 2011, 06:44:44 AM
No, I'm just wondering why Pooh just said it's just the software, but you just posted this thread saying that the reason for banning was because it was "ruffling the feathers," AND additionally that if it was found out that you came back under a different name, you'd be banned for that too.  That's not software, that's human choice. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me.

Although, I don't think posters wished their email addresses become public to people they were not emailing.  But hey, you'd have to ask them.
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: pam1 on June 02, 2011, 06:48:23 AM
No, you're grasping.  I clearly did not say it was ruffling feathers nor did I give a long drawn out explanation b/c frankly, I didn't think anyone needed it.  It seems more than obvious to me at least lol you ask to cancel your membership that you don't want to post. 

Why would anyone be concerned with being banned if they declined to keep their account active?

Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: overwhelmed123 on June 02, 2011, 06:52:48 AM
Quote from: pam1 on June 02, 2011, 06:20:35 AM
If you request your membership to be deleted, your request will be complied with along with permanent banning from WWU. If you need a break from the board, by all means take a break.  In escalating your personal situation into a public announcement to revoke membership is pot stirring and unneeded. 

Should you resign up under another username we can't stop you.  However, if we catch you it is automatic banning. 


That's not grasping.  You wrote it all yourself under a post titled "clarification."  If you wanted to clarify and there's a software and it's nothing but that, wouldn't it have been much simpler to say so?  I'm sorry, you didn't say ruffling feathers, that was me.  You did say pot stirring.

I can't speak for anyone else so I can't answer your question.  I just know after what I heard, I was very disappointed to find out there are people here who pretend to be something they are not.  And to pretend Laurie just decided to up and leave out of thin air is not even believable, even to the members who don't know what really happened.
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: pam1 on June 02, 2011, 07:04:09 AM
In any case, I left questions open to clarify rules, not to rehash other posters decisions.  It is my opinion that the software glitch doesn't really matter, it is what it is and since that is our reality and the reality is that many posters who ask to terminate and make a big stink about it often come back with a new username and pot stir some more.

It is also just my opinion and I'm not speaking on behalf of any mod or Luise here -- that the drama surrounding public announcements and revoking is petty and drama fueled.  It's simple IMO, you decline to participate -- don't whine two days later that you can't log on.  Not a hard concept.  You are creating work for the tech gurus who are unpaid in running/creating WWU.  And as such, this is the best way at the time we know how to deal with it. 

I personally respect all parties privacy and I would hope others would do the same regardless of what they think happened.  It is also of my personal opinion that not everyone needs to know what has happened between two people.  I do not speak for others.

Personally OW, I'm more than a little surprised that you would somehow imply that *I* would be involved in some kind of cover up or immoral behavior.  Thought you knew me better than that.  C'est la vie

Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: overwhelmed123 on June 02, 2011, 07:07:08 AM
Pam, I thought I did too!  That's why I was so surprised to hear it from you!  I thought...Pam, where did you go?  I didn't know if you were a participant or just told wrong.  That's why I asked you about it.
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: SassyDI on June 02, 2011, 07:14:42 AM
I am so lost and confused right now lol.
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: pam1 on June 02, 2011, 07:17:27 AM
So OW, I trust you enough to decide on your own terms.  I will not violate any parties privacy in this episode but my stance leaves it entirely clear what I think.

Agree with me or not, I stand by my opinions and my loyalties remain with WWU. 

No one person or thing is ever perfect.  People are profoundly and deeply, deeply flawed.  IMO and the way I view things there isn't a side here to take, I stand with WWU. 
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: overwhelmed123 on June 02, 2011, 07:21:33 AM
Well IMO, I just think that's sad, and I did think you were different.  I wonder what happened to you.

SassyDI, you will find out in time I'm sure.  Some people here are not what they seem.  And don't email any mod to complain about another poster, because your email will just be forwarded to the poster you speak about, whether you want it to be or not.
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: pam1 on June 02, 2011, 07:28:43 AM
OW, all I can tell you is that it is simply not true.  All you have is my word. I will not violate others privacy and it is their choice whether to speak about it or not, it is simply not my place.

I have no knowledge of any mod or myself forwarding complaints/emails. 
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: SassyDI on June 02, 2011, 07:34:00 AM

Not looking to start drama just confused why everyone just up and started writing they were leaving.
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: overwhelmed123 on June 02, 2011, 07:35:04 AM
Sassy- Because there has been some very poor judgment and treatment by people who everyone trusted.

Pam- Then it sounds to me like you don't know the whole story, sorry to say.
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: SassyDI on June 02, 2011, 07:41:20 AM
Quote from: overwhelmed123 on June 02, 2011, 07:35:04 AM
Sassy- Because there has been some very poor judgment and treatment by people who everyone trusted.

Pam- Then it sounds to me like you don't know the whole story, sorry to say.


OK must be written off the site.  Sad to see everyone go.
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: Pooh on June 02, 2011, 07:44:23 AM
OW that is so not fair to say that about all of us.  I'm very sorry you feel that way.  I have never forwarded an email from a poster.

I am truly sorry that all of this is going on.  I am a member of WWU because I choose to be.  It's totally voluntary on my part.  I think it is a great place to interact with others and get different perspectives.  It also allows me to get my opinions out there, which helps me heal.  I always found this a safe environment to do that and people very supportive.

I took on the mod position, again voluntarily to help Luise out.  She was overwhelmed with things like this and was even considering shutting down the site.  I thought this was such a unique sight, that I didn't want to see that happen.  It has helped so many people, myself included.  I am not part of some great conspiracy.  I have simply enforced the forum rules, I hope in a nice way.  That's what I agreed to do when I said I would be a mod and that's what I have done.  I'm very sorry if some people are offended when they have to be reminded about the rules.  I can't help that.  I also can't help if there is behind the scenes emails going back and forth.  All I can do is modify and clarify to the best of my ability.

I am with Pam that I am remaining with WWU.  I find the good way outweighs the bad.  That is what I am choosing to do because I love this forum.  That's a personal choice for me and everyone else has to decide for themselves.  I know that I am a better person since coming to this forum.  It is the members that have given me wisdom and it is Luise and Kirk who have provided us a place to do it.  For that I am thankful.

I am also with Pam in if a member decides to leave, that is their choice and I will not post the why's or why not's about it.  If I did that, I would be doing the exact thing that I was just accused of.  I believe in their right to make their own decision.  I also believe if they choose to do that via email to Luise or Kirk, then that is also their right to not have that aired out in the forum. I also believe if a poster is breaking rules and harassing members, then Luise has the right to ban them, for all of our benefit.   If anyone thinks of me differently because of what has been transpiring, then I can't help that.  I am the same person that I have been on here for the last year...only I hope a little wiser thanks to everyone.

Now, that all being said by me, I'm not commenting on any of this any longer.  I clarified what I knew, what I believe and what I have chosen.  I hope that everyone here continues on and I hope that if you feel like you can't, that you leave knowing that you will be missed.
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: overwhelmed123 on June 02, 2011, 07:46:20 AM
So, what did Donna do to get banned?
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: pam1 on June 02, 2011, 07:49:07 AM
OW, that is your opinion and I have mine.  I would not let others drama sway my high opinion of you, however I understand your decision about me and fully support it is yours to make.  I'm not happy about it, but there is nothing I can do.  If this website taught me anything it is that I can make friends without ever having to see them and have them be just as rewarding as if they friends in real life as if they were sitting in my living room.  It's sort of how I think about here, I log in to invite you into my life and to sit in your living room too.  IMO, you are someone I came to hold in high esteem and still do. 

You may be right and maybe I don't know everything.  That wouldn't be a first lol.  Again, all I can give you is my word and proof in my character in that I would not stand beside something if I knew it to be wrong.  That's all I have.

Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: pam1 on June 02, 2011, 07:53:22 AM
Quote from: overwhelmed123 on June 02, 2011, 07:46:20 AM
So, what did Donna do to get banned?

After this, I am going to follow Pooh's lead and not discuss posters details anymore.  She is 100 percent correct IMO that if we choose to air posters private details than we would be doing exactly what we were being accused of.

Donna was banned for breaking forum rules.  Providing the nitty gritty wouldn't just violate Donna's privacy, it would also violate a few other posters who are current on the board.  I do not believe in justifying or explaining a banning situation especially when it would involved airing others personal details who were not banned. 
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: SassyDI on June 02, 2011, 07:55:37 AM
OW I think they are right for not posting exactally why.  Even though the nosey person in me would love to know.  It really though is none of our business. 
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: Pooh on June 02, 2011, 08:17:46 AM
That was very uncalled for in the public forum OW.  I am hoping Luise comes in soon and removes that post as that is wrong to expose someone's email address in here.  I have no idea why someone seems to want to involve all the members behind the scenes to create controversy, and then bring it in here, but I will point out to you that the date on that is before we became mods.  We did not become mods until May 1st. 

OW, I have always liked you and enjoyed your posts, but I truly don't like what you are doing now as that is uncalled for.
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: overwhelmed123 on June 02, 2011, 08:25:48 AM
I think sending this to Laurie was uncalled for.  Their email addresses were already exposed, and that wasn't my doing at all.  It was a mod's doing.
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: SassyDI on June 02, 2011, 08:30:36 AM
OW sorry your way in the wrong here.  Not everyone had these email adress because I for sure didn't. 
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: overwhelmed123 on June 02, 2011, 08:32:34 AM
What flavor is the kool aid?
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: Pooh on June 02, 2011, 08:34:29 AM
I have no idea what you mean as I have no knowledge of that email.  I will say this, if someone sent that to Laurie that is associated with this forum, then yes it was wrong.  But it is also very wrong for Laurie to have forwarded it on to you exposing the emails and confidence, and then you exposed it to everyone here.

I'm sorry, but hinting at pointing fingers at others while doing it yourself doesn't sit well with me.  I don't play the inuendo game in real life and I will not do it here.  Inuendos create gossip, controversary and high school childish behavior.  Oh yeah, the very things that brought us all here to begin with.  People in our lives do this to us is why we seek guidance.  Now the very people that came here for help, are hurting others by doing the same things.

Again, I'm sorry if behind the scenes you are being given information that leads you to believe things about me.  I have layed it out for your here, but I will not betray confidences in members or posters to prove my point.  If I don't know the whole story, then so be it...maybe I don't.  But I am truly not interested in playing games with people about it.  Hopefully, Luise will lock this thread soon.

I am truly done with this and moving on to those that choose to want to be here and participate in the forum as it was created.
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: SassyDI on June 02, 2011, 08:35:23 AM
Quote from: overwhelmed123 on June 02, 2011, 08:32:34 AM
What flavor is the kool aid?

If that was for me I don't know what your talking about.  I don't know who is right or who is wrong thats not the point.  The point is you don't go posting private email on a public fourm no less with their last names.  Pooh and Pam1 could be wrong for all I know but its still not right.
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: overwhelmed123 on June 02, 2011, 08:36:34 AM
Luise can lock the thread, but she's the one who did it...not Pooh or Pam or any of the mini mods.
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: Pooh on June 02, 2011, 08:43:51 AM
SassyDI, thank you for sorting through and seeing the right and wrong of the situation.  I appreciate it.  And you are right, me and Pam could be wrong.  I know what I said was the truth as I know it,  and all I can say is thanks for hanging in there.

Three things about your very last post OW.  You just changed your story because you started this with all the mods were betraying posters, and now you are saying we are not.  And two, you called me a mini mod as an insult which just showed your true character to me.  Three, you might want to take a step back and think about these messages you are getting from ?  They are complaining about betraying confidences while betraying confidences?

You guys know that I normally don't get into controversary with members, but there is so much going on out there right now that is behind the scenes and again, everyone has a choice.  OW, if you are so confident of our conspiracy, then graciously bow out and quit posting.  Continuing to post to try and prove something is just making things worse.  This site is voluntary and if at any point I decide I don't want to be here...I don't have to be.
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: overwhelmed123 on June 02, 2011, 08:46:33 AM
Mini  mod wasn't an insult, Pooh, I just meant it wasn't any of you, I would like to actually think you are all innocent in the matter as all of it came from the person who oversees the whole board.  Is Luise not the main mod?  At this point, I don't think you and Pam are involved at all, I think you were probably lied to- not your fault.  I don't see how I changed my story.  Luise betrayed posters confidence.  Sorry, I didn't want to say names before, but I don't care anymore.
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: Pooh on June 02, 2011, 08:51:59 AM
Quote from: overwhelmed123 on June 02, 2011, 07:21:33 AM
And don't email any mod to complain about another poster, because your email will just be forwarded to the poster you speak about, whether you want it to be or not.

You said any mod, then said we are not involved now.  You said that then posted an email with a date earlier than we were mods.  I will tell you I hate when my character is called into question.  I don't like when someone accuses me of things that I have not done.  I do not like when someone hints I am involved in a big conspiracy and I do not like when people save up things to use against people at a later date.  To me, that actually speaks volumes of their character.

It is Luise's choice if she wants to say anything about it, not mine.  I am defending my character and the rights of our members to not have their private information placed in a public forum.  I'm sorry you don't care any longer, but that doesn't make what you did right.
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: overwhelmed123 on June 02, 2011, 08:55:47 AM
Pooh, LOL, I am sorry I used the word, "any."  Let me set the record straight, I should not have said "any," the reason I did is because I assumed anything someone sends to a mod would get back to Luise, and that is the person who betrayed confidences.  I wasn't sure if any of the other mods were involved so I asked questions.  Now I know you are not.  So you don't need to defend your character because it's now clear no one is attacking it.   Got it?  Woosah.

 
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: overwhelmed123 on June 02, 2011, 08:56:19 AM
And I've never seen someone edit a post but then take out the tag that they edited it....I wonder what that's all about.
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: Pooh on June 02, 2011, 08:57:47 AM
And now I realized I lied because I said I was done with this.  Sorry everyone, didn't mean to lie about that, just got my dander up when I get accused falsely, lied about and someone doesn't mind hurting others to validate their point.

Ok, now....onward and upward!  I'm not lying this time...no matter what!
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: overwhelmed123 on June 02, 2011, 08:58:32 AM
Just following in Luise's footsteps...taking a lesson from her.  Didn't mean to ruffle your feathers, pooh bear.
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: lancaster lady on June 02, 2011, 08:59:27 AM
Hey guys ......

Coming in here ....I think we have heard enough bickering .
OW:
Are you going to spoil all the good that you have had from this forum in one page ?
You seem to be fighting someone else's fight .
The people who have left have done so graciously and with dignity , please don't spoil your wonderful
history with this forum .
Whatever the rights and wrongs which may or may not have happened , this is not your call to sit
judgement on .
I would sincerely ask that you stop .
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: overwhelmed123 on June 02, 2011, 09:01:07 AM
Sorry, but I feel that everyone should know what has been going on behind the scenes, people get gossiped about and the emails get forwarded and gossiped about more.  It was a shock to me because I thought there was more character than that.  I just want the people I care about here to be careful what they say and who they say it to.
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: overwhelmed123 on June 02, 2011, 09:03:52 AM
Luise forwarded private personal emails directly to Laurie, without asking for confidence or anything of the like.  Poor Barb and Kathleen probably had no idea Luise would use their private emails to send directly to the person they were talking about.  I want to know why.
Title: Re: Clarification on Forum Rules
Post by: luise.volta on June 02, 2011, 09:06:55 AM
I am closing this because of the unkindness to me and to my Moderators. We all do this work for free and we do our best. Anyone seeking perfection needs to look heavenward. Anyone who doesn't like it here can leave. Those who want to cause trouble instead of focusing on working on our life-issues together need to cease and desist. I hope that is plain enough. I will delete a dozen if need be...to get us back on track. This isn't an "I said/she said...I wrote/she wrote...I'm going to tell on you/but don't you tell on me" Forum. It's for adults. And just so I am absolutely clear here...no one publishes other people's emails and email addresses here for any purpose. ANY purpose. It is cause for deletion and I have set it in motion.
P.S. I never forward private emails. You're the pot calling the kettle black.