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Problem Solving => Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws => Topic started by: 2chickiebaby on October 27, 2009, 02:00:16 PM

Title: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: 2chickiebaby on October 27, 2009, 02:00:16 PM
What are everyone's Thanksgiving plans this year?  I think I've told you mine but I'd love to hear what yours are. 
Title: Re: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: AnnieB on October 27, 2009, 02:20:25 PM
My mother (82), my  son (h.s. senior) and I are going to my 2nd son's wife's mother's house. Only an hour away.  I am making three pies -- apple, pumpkin and peanut butter (grandson's favorite) 

This will also be my son and DIL's 1st anniversary - I have spent some time with her mother and father, so I expect this to be fun.   They are a much livelier group than we are!

My 1st son and family live abroad (the wife is not speaking to me anyway).  They don't celebrate Thanksgiving, so they won't even feel left out though in previous years we've done a Skype greeting and spent time with them. 

They were stateside earlier this year (before the problem) and didn't bother to come visit and meet the new sister-in-law and family, so I guess it's no big loss to them.

Title: Re: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: 2chickiebaby on October 27, 2009, 02:23:31 PM
Anna, I didn't know you had Thanksgiving in Canada, course I didn't know you lived in Canada  ;D

I love it when there's a new baby to love.  It seems like that makes everything more joyful.  Maybe the whole world has Thanksgiving!!!  Who knew?  :D
Title: Re: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: Ihopeuknow on October 27, 2009, 02:26:26 PM
We're doing Thanksgiving at my parents with my two younger siblings (both still at home).  In years prior we did Thanksgiving at my parents and then spent the weekend with the ILs.  I don't think that's how things will go this year.  I'm going to try to convince my husband that we should at least go and spend the day with them, but it's up in the air. Thanksgiving is by far my favorite holiday <3
Title: Re: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: 2chickiebaby on October 27, 2009, 02:28:56 PM
oh, Annie!  We're pie lovers here.  I don't know what we're bringing to close DILs but oh my gosh, I hope it's not my cornbread dressing!!! I'm sure I'll be bringing my candied yams. The Cornbread dressing is too much trouble.

I just pray that I can make it through....! If distant DIL is the least bit kind, ever, I fall for it and boy, do I pay for it later.  Must do the dance of the eggshells.  I wish I could knit or crochet.  Double Dadgummit!!!!!!   

Title: Re: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: Pen on October 27, 2009, 02:36:08 PM
2 chickie, I found this cool hoop crochet thing at Joanne's or Michael's a couple of years ago. I don't knit or crochet but I can do this! Even my developmentally disabled daughter can do it :) Anyway, it's something to do...check it out.
Title: Re: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: 2chickiebaby on October 27, 2009, 02:38:03 PM
Okay!  I'll give it a try....anything to make me look at something else. 
Title: Re: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: 2chickiebaby on October 27, 2009, 02:41:22 PM
Second Monday in October.  That is so interesting......I love hearing about other countries.  We're kissing cousins, though!! 
Title: Re: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: 2chickiebaby on October 27, 2009, 02:51:21 PM
AnnieB...this breaks my heart for you!!  I've had a DIL to come here to our town and not even call for us to see the grandkids.  I know how this hurts. You are so strong.....!!
Title: Re: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: Pen on October 27, 2009, 02:57:13 PM
AnnieB, I almost said 'I can't believe they did that' but that's not so true anymore after hearing all the stories on this site.

Our daughter is coming for the day, maybe the night. I do all the cooking with a little help from her (she's dev disabled.) Last year son & DIL came by after having a big feast at her folks, but I can't picture that happening this year. My daughter only gets to see her brother on major holidays so that's sad for her. We'll see - if it's just the 3 of us that's OK.
Title: Re: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: 2chickiebaby on October 27, 2009, 03:09:51 PM
I'm so sorry, Penstamen!!  I know how you feel....really, a Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving that I envisioned hardly ever happens to anyone, I don't think.

Did I tell you that we had Thanksgiving breakfast here one time so we could fit ourselves in? 

Title: Re: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: 2chickiebaby on October 27, 2009, 03:11:09 PM
10 minutes?  That's amazing.....
Title: Re: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: AnnieB on October 27, 2009, 03:24:59 PM
I'm going to focus on who is at the dinner -- it should be fun and the food will be good, there will be 9 of us at least, so I am happy :)
Title: Re: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: 2chickiebaby on October 27, 2009, 03:32:08 PM
Anna?  They never showed up?  That's so sad.  I have a friend who is constantly trying to show me how to act with distant DIL and not allow the bully to get away with it. 

I don't get it.  I can't. I'll either learn or I'll keep having this happen.
Title: Re: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: just2baccepted on October 27, 2009, 05:48:06 PM
We'll be spending it alone.  This will be the first year.  My family is very fractured.  Drug abuse, criminal activity, marital affairs, health problems.  You name it.  So we chose to spend it alone then expose ourselves to my dysfunctial family.  If my mom wants to come over she can.  She was going to cook for my sister and her DH, but he's in jail and probably will go to prison because he and his brother robbed a guy at gun point to get their crack money.  Maybe prison will get one dysfunctional person out of my life.
Title: Re: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: 2chickiebaby on October 27, 2009, 05:56:15 PM
I'm so sorry, Just2be....so sorry!! 
Title: Re: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: mom2 on October 27, 2009, 06:00:39 PM
JTB,

Sorry to hear that !
Title: Re: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: mom2 on October 27, 2009, 06:04:07 PM
Our dinner will be here with Daughter/Sil and kids. Lots of good good food and togetherness. In light of everything that has happened, we still have so much to be thankful for. Sounds like most/all moms are having a nice Thanksgiving so that makes my heart happy!!!

Title: Re: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: 2chickiebaby on October 27, 2009, 06:10:46 PM
it's so good that you have a daughter....it will be wonderful. 
Title: Re: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: just2baccepted on October 27, 2009, 06:23:24 PM
thanks ladies
Title: Re: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: lilyofthevalley on October 27, 2009, 09:19:37 PM
I'll be doing what I normally do...making a big meal to serve around 1 pm, then having homemade caramel corn and kettle corn while watching the game, and then having turkey sandwiches at night.  My children and their families, friends, and coworkers have been invited to stop by at any point and grab a bite with us, so I imagine if things go like they normally do, that I'll have our neighbors and our youngest son at lunch.  Middle daughter and her boyfriend will make it around game time, and older son and his family will be here for the sandwiches.  Though I have to say I'm not one to get worked up if someone in the family can't be there.  I'd rather see them on a different day when they're not stressed than see them "on the day" after they've had to move the kids multiple times and stick to a schedule.  I like a laid back holiday, and if I had to do that, I'd be miserable. 
Title: Re: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: Scarlett on November 05, 2009, 11:08:42 AM
My DH and I are celebrating Thanksgiving alone together at our new house.  I need a break from the IL's after our disasterous House Warming party.  Did agree to do Christmas with the IL's. Hopefully, all goes well!!
Title: Re: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: Pen on November 07, 2009, 09:28:36 AM
I hope all goes well for you too, Scarlett.

I finally got up the courage to ask DS what their plans were. He says they'll be celebrating with DIL's family around noon, and then coming our way for the evening meal, just like last year. Not sure if he's checked it out with DIL yet. After all the horrible things she said about us I can't imagine she'd be comfortable walking into our house, but we're prepared to let it go if they actually make an appearance.

DIL's family's noontime celebration cannot be changed, ever!! Our family used to eat around 2 pm, so this has been a bit of an adjustment - not earthshattering, but I confess to feeling a little resentful. This new time makes it difficult to get DD home, and it limits the time DS and DD get to spend together, but we'll deal as we always do, unless we decide to eat at 2 pm anyway and they can have leftovers or dessert when they get here - which will hurt DS's feelings. Leftovers will taste just as good, though. Maybe if he has to sacrifice a little he'll understand  more what we're going through - either that or he'll feel rejected and DIL will use that against us. I hate having to second guess everything. Sometimes I feel like a conspiracy theorist:)

Of couse, all this is moot if DIL refuses to come. On to Christmas awkwardness!
Title: Re: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: SunnyDays09 on November 08, 2009, 12:24:00 PM
When I was newly married and had my son from previous marriage and new daughter in tow complete with all the bottles/diapers/toys, etc, not to mention things for pre-teen son. We had Turkey Day at MILS early, then my mom's or my sis' house, then to HIS brothers.  I looked at these women and there they were all in their own homes.  I had a stomach ache, headache, crabby sticky kids and a husband that I swear drove home fast asleep.  IT WAS AWFUL.

   I came to the conclusion I would make MY OWN dinner from then on.  No MORE running here and there.  Told everyone else award winning desserts/coffees at my place anytime.  No one came.  Fine.  I was home.   The house smelled delicious and there were plenty of desserts to share with neighbors.   
    No running.  No deciding who gets firsties.  Forget it.  I wanted my own traditions for MY kids!   And I have been doing that for the last 23 years.  Except for ONE, when we flew to NC to have T-day at dd/sil new home.  I love the smells.  The sounds of the parade.  ETC. 
   
   Anyone here is invited as well.  Be prepared to nap after eating because we are boring people.  LOL
Title: Re: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: Invisible on November 10, 2009, 04:38:10 AM
My husband was 30 when died 11/22. My son was 14 years old.  :-\ We were devastated and from then on referred to thanksgiving as "dead bird day"  We did not "celebrate" dead bird day because it was so close to the day his father died. Now my son died as a result of a motorcycle accident.

Rules my daughter in law set, I am not allow to spend any holidays with my granddaughter. However, I will have her this weekend and we will make arts and crafts turkeys. Other than that thanksgiving is just another day.
Title: Re: Thanksgiving Plans?
Post by: just2baccepted on November 22, 2009, 09:04:08 PM
I'll be cooking at home this year.  I hope it turns out!  Happy THanksgiving to all!