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General Category => Grab Bag => Topic started by: cremebrulee on February 09, 2010, 04:34:39 AM

Title: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: cremebrulee on February 09, 2010, 04:34:39 AM
I thought it might be fun to start a thread about all the things we have learned from each other....you don't have to state who you learned it from, but from this experience, lets look for the positive things we have learned...

1.  I have learned I can't always have things my way, and all my dreams won't come true....

2.  I have learned to be even more giving and to allow and let go of those I love the most dearly.

3.  God's purpose for us, is to acclimate to change, regardless of how uncomfortable it is.

4.  Hard times lead me closer to God

5.  I shouldn't only be thankful when things are good, but also, remember, those good things when times are tough

6.  It could always be worse

7.  I've learned patience and to look in other directions for happiness even though for every step forward I take, two back seems to get in the way...perhaps that to, is purposeful....

8.  I think I've finally learned to love, even in the face of loss...and to try to understand my enemy, even though, that person would do me harm....

9.  I've been able to identify those who are disturbed, who would try and drive a wedge between family members, are very troubled souls...

10.  People are not always going to think and feel the way I do...and that's ok....

11.  I've learned, that there are a lot of women out there, who are loving and dealing with the same problems I am, and so so greatful to have found this website full of very loving woman....

Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: cocobars on February 09, 2010, 05:31:23 AM
What a positive and forward moving thread, Creme!  This really makes us think and appreciate what we have.

One of the things I've learned here is that I can tell everyone some painful and sometimes embarassing things, without being judged or second guessed.  ACCEPTANCE

It so nice to be around others who are going through the same things.  Makes me feel like it's not all my problem.  I was starting to think something was wrong with me before I found this site.

My post isn't as organized or as thought provoking as yours, but I wanted to throw that in the pile anyway!
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: cremebrulee on February 09, 2010, 05:46:53 AM
Quotecocobars link=topic=387.msg7041#msg7041 date=1265722283]
What a positive and forward moving thread, Creme!  This really makes us think and appreciate what we have.

One of the things I've learned here is that I can tell everyone some painful and sometimes embarassing things, without being judged or second guessed.  ACCEPTANCE

hah, you might not believe it is profound, but, by far, it is...acceptance here is a gift...thank you so much for pointing that out.  I have read many of your posts that are profound and help me along the way, your posts are and insight into how caring your heart is....you are a gift.


QuoteIt so nice to be around others who are going through the same things.  Makes me feel like it's not all my problem.  I was starting to think something was wrong with me before I found this site.

yes, it certainly is...I love these girls...

QuoteMy post isn't as organized or as thought provoking as yours, but I wanted to throw that in the pile anyway!

your posts, all of them are so organized and helpful....
thank you for being you...
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: cocobars on February 10, 2010, 04:49:26 AM
Quote from: cremebrulee on February 09, 2010, 04:34:39 AM

7.  I've learned patience and to look in other directions for happiness even though for every step forward I take, two back seems to get in the way...perhaps that to, is purposeful....

8.  I think I've finally learned to love, even in the face of loss...and to try to understand my enemy, even though, that person would do me harm....

I've learned that your statement in #7 above is very necessary to grow.  3 years ago I took one step forward and three steps back.  That grew to two steps back, still not making any real progress.  I reached a place where I could at least stay even - one step forward and one back.  Now I can look back and see all that but at the time just didn't see anything but how dark everything was.  Today I have noticed that my own pace seems to be "three steps forward, one back."  I'm getting there, but know I'm still a work in progress.  LOL! 

I think I will be forever.  We learn at any age, and it never stops.  We all learn at different paces also.  Like invisible, I had friends who made remarks that I should be over it.  Although I wish I could get over some things like most people and move on, and I do realize that is part of growing,  I've also learned that I can't rush myself.  It's my pace, even if it's slow.  It's still growth.

The next time you notice you've taken a step forward, you can know that it's ok to take those two steps back.  Yes, I believe it does have a purpose and it's different for everyone.

Your post is so wonderful.  I'm not sure I would have much more to add to this.  It appears to me you have completely covered it! ;D

Take care deep thinker!
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: luise.volta on February 10, 2010, 07:43:08 AM
1. I have learned that often perceptions are not truths or if they are, they're "my truths, only.

2. I have learned that just being heard and understood is often all I need to be able to move on.

3. I have learned that I can develop inner resources and move beyond "that's just the way I am."

4. I have learned that fatigue can alter how I see and experience things and rest can change that.

5. I have learned that what I need is provided and that want and need aren't always the same thing.

6. I have learned to trust the overview and know that I can't always see and appreciate it.

7. I have learned that forgiveness and trust are not the same thing and have made peace with that.

8. I have learned that not knowing is a wonderful thing and makes room for growth and expansion.

9. I have learned that I can outsmart and outlive my past mistakes and revere the present.

10. I have learned that loving and being loved fuels me and makes the whole journey worthwhile.

11. I have learned that having fun and being silly are contagious and have healing properties.

12. I have learned that one way to express love is to listen to and acknowledge others.
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: cremebrulee on February 12, 2010, 05:57:10 AM
a profound post Luise, and so true...so very true....thank you for sharing....

I will use that to refer to when I'm down...every single post is outstanding, however, #7 is so true....I'm going to copy these and keep them if you don't mind...there are a few in there, I need to work on....

Hugs
Creme
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: cocobars on February 23, 2010, 06:14:53 AM
I have learned that education doesn't dictate intelligence, compassion, love or wisdom.

I have learned that I can love people I have never laid eyes on.

Oh!  And that snow has magic crystals (thanks Pen), that I never noticed only because of my own dislike for it.  But they were there - when viewed through someone else's eyes...
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: luise.volta on February 23, 2010, 12:59:40 PM
I have learned that if I don't try it, I will never know if it might have worked or not.
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: cocobars on February 23, 2010, 01:28:43 PM
I have learned that I look forward to your posts on Monday mornings, and regret seeing you leave on Fridays.  I have missed those pearls of wisdom that only you are detailed enough to give.

I have learned that it only takes a day for me to start worrying about you, Creme!
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: cocobars on February 23, 2010, 05:05:40 PM
Oh Anna!  That was a good one!  Hard to do, but good to conquer!
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: renny97 on March 01, 2010, 09:21:23 PM
Love this post:

1. When someone disrespects you, believe it. No one has the right to do this; not even someone related.
Your reaction may have consequences--but, don't be fear-driven. Try to hold onto manners as long as you can. Sometimes, people that do not have any--will not understand you anyway.

2. Letting go, can also be an act of love. You accept that others don't have the same values.

3. Don't let others verbally abuse you. Never let it become a habit for them. Saying nothing about it, is equally as bad.

4. Have a full and meaningful life. Do not let bullies be the focus.

5. Respect yourself.

6. Dance and be silly as a requirement; not an option.
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: luise.volta on March 01, 2010, 09:29:15 PM
I just loved the be silly part! :P 8) :o ;)
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: renny97 on March 01, 2010, 09:49:52 PM
 ;) ;D Oh yeah, shimmy to the left and shimmy to the right  ;D

I used to work with a guy that did a "mean" sprinkler! Oh, I laughed! He recently came to the place I work with his daughter and I thanked him for brightening my days back then. He was so surprised that I remembered. I said I would never forget that. That was the first time I had ever heard of that being a dance.

Another lesson learned, let the people who do bring you joy, know that they do.

And, from what I read; our Fairy Godmother has a birthday on March 10th?  ;)
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: luise.volta on March 01, 2010, 10:16:19 PM
You're close...March 9th. And Kirk, our worthy webmaster, is coming over from Kauai to Washington State to celebrate with his old mom for a month!  ;D ;D I haven't seen him for five months and it's been a very hard five months with that fracture and the surgery to put the screws in and Val going down hill so my caregiving has had to go up even when wheelchair-bound.

I think I will post a newspaper article that was printed about me in the Fall outlining the two awards I got in Sept. and October for my work on our campus and on the Web. I'd love to share that with you guys. Any maybe even the little 3 minute acceptance speech I gave when I got my trophy. :-))))

The Fairy Godmother got Pinged!!
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: cremebrulee on March 02, 2010, 03:50:33 AM
Quote from: luise.volta on March 01, 2010, 10:16:19 PM
You're close...March 9th. And Kirk, our worthy webmaster, is coming over from Kauai to Washington State to celebrate with his old mom for a month!  ;D ;D I haven't seen him for five months and it's been a very hard five months with that fracture and the surgery to put the screws in and Val going down hill so my caregiving has had to go up even when wheelchair-bound.

I think I will post a newspaper article that was printed about me in the Fall outlining the two awards I got in Sept. and October for my work on our campus and on the Web. I'd love to share that with you guys. Any maybe even the little 3 minute acceptance speech I gave when I got my trophy. :-))))

The Fairy Godmother got Pinged!!

I hope you guys have such a memorable and loving time together....big hugs
Creme
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: luise.volta on March 02, 2010, 07:20:33 AM
C - Thanks so much and I will post and celebrate with my e-family, too! ;D
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: cocobars on March 02, 2010, 05:24:52 PM
Don't post too much.  You enjoy your son while you have him there!  We'll be here when the visit is over! 

Just send us a smile occasionally!  Because we all know you will be! ;D
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: luise.volta on March 02, 2010, 06:11:34 PM
Well, he's staying for a month! (Some birthday party, right?) And I'm not ever going to get out of touch like I did with that fracture! When I came back...people were saying...who's Luise?!   ;D
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: cocobars on March 02, 2010, 06:37:42 PM
Really?  That's awful.  Please keep coming through and talking to us.  We need you here Luise and I really would have missed you.  Besides I need someone to calm me down :)
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: luise.volta on March 02, 2010, 07:33:34 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: jkm426 on March 02, 2010, 07:43:48 PM
OOO....I'll play....I have learned....
I am in charge of my happiness
No one can stop me from singing
Being happy is the best revenge
My experiences can make me bitter or better.  I choose better

Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: 2chickiebaby on March 02, 2010, 07:55:49 PM
I have learned that I have many things to learn.

I have learned that an angel is sent to us in the form of a person many times if we'll just look around.  My 87 year old friend who walks 7 miles a day, is in perfect health, has a wonderful, positive attitude and is kind and loving is all I need sometimes to help me understand.

I have learned that I need to learn more.

Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: cocobars on March 02, 2010, 08:11:02 PM
 :-X
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: 2chickiebaby on March 02, 2010, 08:14:21 PM
Coco, we don't want your sweet lips sealed!!!  You're one of our angels :)
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: luise.volta on March 02, 2010, 08:33:49 PM
I have learned that "not knowing" is the highest form of intelligence because that leaves room to learn.
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: cremebrulee on March 03, 2010, 06:10:14 AM
I have learned, that when our son's marry, we need to let go and give them room to start they're new married lives together and by all means, not interfer.  I have learned that our son's are no longer children, and need quality time and space to set up they're own rules, boundaries and housekeeping.  I have learned that I cannot expect my son to be who he used to be, and regard him as an adult...I have learned that no matter how hard it is to do so, sometimes the greatest gift you can give someone you love it to let them go.

I have learned that I should never make a surprise visit to my son's home...
I have learned that his home, is also her home, who is a totally different individual then I am, with different ideas and how to do things....
She is a human being...who deserves to be treated with respect...and I have no business expecting them to continue to carry on my traditions, but more so, they need to start they're own...
I have learned, because I remember, I to, was a DIL once, myself...and I remember what drove me literally nuts...I was an adult, ready to start my own family traditions, yet, had to adhear to my MIL's way of doing things, and that was so unfair....she called at all times of the night and morning, and visited without calling first...my parents also did the same thing which was so rude...I hated surprise visits...especially when I worked all week.

Once my parents bought up a huge birthday cake for me, for my birthday, without calling first, and my husband had already bought a cake and planned a dinner out...but my parents stayed...Sheeesh??????  Quite honestly, I would have so enjoyed nothing better then a nice romantic dinner out with my husband....



Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: RedRose on March 03, 2010, 09:17:44 AM
I've learned that there are other women who have the same feelings I have about my dil...and chose to go along with almost anything she wants in order to have peace in my family and time with my grandchild.

I've learned that my son did the same as I have...In order to avoid confrontation with his wife and keep the peace with her...and hold his family together.

I know not all dil's are like mine...and I always looked forward to their opinions here.

Now that my son has filed for divorce I will continue to come here because my dil (X-dil) will always be my grandsons mother...It is not over.

Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: 2chickiebaby on March 03, 2010, 09:27:30 AM
Dear Rose,
I'm sorry your son is going through a divorce.  I know that can't be easy for him or for his wife.  I am glad to know that at least he is aware of how you were treated by her.  It hurts to the core and those of us who have been there, know it.

I feel bad for the kids too.

Don't ever leave us!!! We love you here.  :)
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: RedRose on March 03, 2010, 09:44:24 AM
I won't leave...I need everybody here.

If I'm not here as often as before it's just because I'm busy.
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: luise.volta on March 03, 2010, 09:47:44 AM
You have a beautiful heart. We are all with you on this. Pings to you!
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: 2chickiebaby on March 03, 2010, 10:08:06 AM
I just discovered something...I have a business to run here and I've gotten so involved with this site, I have let it go somewhat unattended and I shouldn't have!!!






Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: luise.volta on March 03, 2010, 10:11:08 AM
Oh, oh! Can you find a way to keep us both? Please?
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: RedRose on March 03, 2010, 10:13:55 AM
I can see how that can happen.

Get busy and catch up with your work. That is important too, Chicky.

Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: renny97 on March 03, 2010, 10:51:08 AM
Work is work, but adds distraction and balance.

I have had an ongoing situation at work, where this clique of coworkers think I am unaware of their scam of sabotaging my work area and creating more work. It used to anger me, but I keep thinking they will get caught and nearly have, several times.

It reminded me of the almost "parallel" to DIL situation.

I worked with a good worker last night, that usually isn't in my area. She asked if I knew where "she" (bully) went. I answered, "I don't know." Good worker, said she found out "she" went to another area to "look" for something. We were understaffed, and that is why good worker was wondering where "she" went. We could use more help. All of a sudden, I walk through my area, and see "items" from the area that "she" went to. My point is, that it felt almost odd that good worker acknowledged what I'd been dealing with all along. I had shut my mouth, because I knew cliche' were waiting for me to "tell." They were acting on a rumor that I "told" on one of theirs. Politics. Gossip. All that.

They stand around and watch me work. Joke. In some way, there are so many similarities in situations. First, there is an "imagined" wrong they feel I've done. Without knowing the truth, they begin to act out. They get more people involved in it (gang/family) mentality. None of them, knows the truth. It doesn't stop them from continuing every single day from making my work more time-consuming. In this case, they are getting paid to do it!

So, I've learned to keep mouth shut. Nothing will change or be done about the situation. They keep "baiting" me with certain comments; "Oh I don't want to do any work." "Oh I don't care about what you have to do."

The moral and the biggest lesson from this, is, that, for all the wrong "followers," the RIGHT and fair people WILL notice. That is huge. That felt good! I think when dealing with her family, I was outnumbered and their views were "supposed" to be right, just because they all were raised in the same dysfunction. No matter what those others do, if I keep doing right, no matter how unfair of treatment, life will deal with them! I do not need to exert any worry or control/confrontation. If they can blindly follow, how weak! As with DIL and family, people will do and say whatever they please. The best thing, is for me to limit contact. That is why I didn't see it so clearly in my personal life, because, I didn't feel I had a "way out" as in workplace. But, we always have a choice. My heart, got in the way.
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: luise.volta on March 03, 2010, 11:21:27 AM
I really admire your process.  :)

I know I am always quoting my son...but when I once said to him..."I have no choice." He said, (lovingly,)
"You always have a choice, Mom; you just don't like the consequences."
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: renny97 on March 03, 2010, 12:35:55 PM
Thanks, L. Really working on it.

It just got me to thinking why so many are followers. It is a lot easier. There are usually more of them. Who wants ridicule? Easier for some to bend their "moral compass." Who stops to question something they have heard? Bullies, count on that. They set out to punish those who see them for who they are.

One of the bullies, makes sure I have to do all the work alone. When I get help, I see the other bullies come over and smoosh with the good worker. It is just a game to them. "Let's see if we can gain another member"? So bully1 sets out to tell the good worker a horrible story of how she got in trouble from boss (gain sympathy--smooth manipulation). Boss, saw her slacking. Oh really?  :o I thought to myself, "You were "hard" at work, throwing stuff around over here!"  ::)

I have a time of watching all this play out. Like watching IL's strategies at work! I have to smile at times. How come so few see this? I think it's much easier to see (plus IL experience) when it isn't people you are close to, too. I was aware of that distinction before, but finally putting some concrete pieces together.
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: luise.volta on March 03, 2010, 12:42:53 PM
Good for you, regarding puzzle assembly! When we take the "mystery" out out of our experience and factor in the dynamics, we're way ahead! Pings to you!
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: renny97 on March 03, 2010, 12:53:56 PM
 :) LOL!  ;) Love that! I've been putting myself in the observation-mode, stepping back, and setting emotions aside. It has helped me sort out many things at once.

Well, off to work soon! Or should I say, "In-law's" Corp?  :D "Do as we say, not; what we do"? (Something like that, lol).
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: cocobars on March 03, 2010, 03:20:08 PM
I have learned that my perception may not always be "right" for everyone, but it's right for me!
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: cocobars on March 03, 2010, 03:32:37 PM
I learned to be grateful for the friends I have met here that mean so much to me, the messages that touch my heart, and the ones I look for.  Maybe it doesn't mean that much for everyone, but that's a "biggie" for me. 

I have learned to stand on my own two feet, AND not whine so much!  Alot can be said for confidence - thank you L, CB and MIW!

I have learned that I can love a perfect stranger and wan to protect her!
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: 2chickiebaby on March 03, 2010, 03:42:40 PM
I skipped on here to say that I truly love you, Coco. Your strength and insight has been remarkable for me.  I don't even know you but I trust you with all my heart.  Sometimes the best people are the ones with sweet hearts.  You don't find that very often. In fact, those kind of  people are in short supply on the earth. Thank you for being one. 
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: luise.volta on March 03, 2010, 03:49:28 PM
I have learned that not only are my perceptions my own...but they care shift and change. So, I think I am learning not to take myself so seriously. :)
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: cocobars on March 04, 2010, 05:23:33 PM
But...

You deserve to be taken seriously!  Really you do! :)
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: Pen on March 04, 2010, 07:57:35 PM
I've learned that I'm not alone.
I've learned that my feelings are valid.
I've learned that it could be worse.
I've learned that a community of caring, wise women can be healing and powerful.
I've learned how to quote and PM :)
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: cocobars on March 04, 2010, 08:06:32 PM
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: renny97 on March 05, 2010, 06:32:41 AM
After days of lugging around your secrets, their secrets and the secrets of everyone you work with, you're tired of this. Tired of the intrigue, tired of being afraid to say anything at all and tired of worrying that you've just slipped and said the wrong thing to the wrong person. Enough. It's not in your nature to be deceptive. Better start passing that information around.

This was my scope for today!!!!! It is so accurate. Something I really do have to learn.


Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: Hope on April 03, 2010, 04:15:49 AM
Quote from: luise.volta on March 02, 2010, 08:33:49 PM
I have learned that "not knowing" is the highest form of intelligence because that leaves room to learn.
Profound, as usual. 
Luise, I have nothing but the utmost respect for you. 
Love you and hugs your way - real big ones.  (I hope I'm not squeezing too tight b/c I wouldn't want to hurt you.)
Hope
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: Hope on April 03, 2010, 04:48:13 AM
Quote from: renny97 on March 03, 2010, 10:51:08 AM
Work is work, but adds distraction and balance.

I have had an ongoing situation at work, where this clique of coworkers think I am unaware of their scam of sabotaging my work area and creating more work. It used to anger me, but I keep thinking they will get caught and nearly have, several times.

It reminded me of the almost "parallel" to DIL situation.

I worked with a good worker last night, that usually isn't in my area. She asked if I knew where "she" (bully) went. I answered, "I don't know." Good worker, said she found out "she" went to another area to "look" for something. We were understaffed, and that is why good worker was wondering where "she" went. We could use more help. All of a sudden, I walk through my area, and see "items" from the area that "she" went to. My point is, that it felt almost odd that good worker acknowledged what I'd been dealing with all along. I had shut my mouth, because I knew cliche' were waiting for me to "tell." They were acting on a rumor that I "told" on one of theirs. Politics. Gossip. All that.

They stand around and watch me work. Joke. In some way, there are so many similarities in situations. First, there is an "imagined" wrong they feel I've done. Without knowing the truth, they begin to act out. They get more people involved in it (gang/family) mentality. None of them, knows the truth. It doesn't stop them from continuing every single day from making my work more time-consuming. In this case, they are getting paid to do it!

So, I've learned to keep mouth shut. Nothing will change or be done about the situation. They keep "baiting" me with certain comments; "Oh I don't want to do any work." "Oh I don't care about what you have to do."

The moral and the biggest lesson from this, is, that, for all the wrong "followers," the RIGHT and fair people WILL notice. That is huge. That felt good! I think when dealing with her family, I was outnumbered and their views were "supposed" to be right, just because they all were raised in the same dysfunction. No matter what those others do, if I keep doing right, no matter how unfair of treatment, life will deal with them! I do not need to exert any worry or control/confrontation. If they can blindly follow, how weak! As with DIL and family, people will do and say whatever they please. The best thing, is for me to limit contact. That is why I didn't see it so clearly in my personal life, because, I didn't feel I had a "way out" as in workplace. But, we always have a choice. My heart, got in the way.
:)  I have learned that Renny is a hard worker with good morals, values, and ethics. 
:)  I have learned that I don't want to be a bully, a slacker, or steal from my workplace by not earning my salary.  (I can't relate to people like that.)
:)  I have learned that I have a safe place to be myself where I can be supported and loved (HERE).
Title: Re: wHAT HAVE I LEARNED?
Post by: cocobars on April 03, 2010, 05:18:27 AM
I have learned that sometimes people join bullies because they don't want to be bullied.  They are afraid of standing up to that bully.  It's easier to be on the side of the bully, than to be picked on and made to feel "less than." Nobody should be made to feel that way.

That one's for you too Renny, and I know we can both relate to it! :)

You are missed here!