"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler. Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough. How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering? What do we do when there are communication problems? How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden? And how do our family members feel about these issues? We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."
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Quote from: Doe on May 21, 2012, 06:42:29 AMQuote from: forever spring on May 20, 2012, 10:27:44 PM
I have decided to be open to him about what xDIL and FOO tell me and be open about my replies to them, if any. I have to reply to the email my xDIL sent, that's only common courtesy on the one hand but on the other it also allows me to see the GC soon, I hope.
If you're still looking for opinions, here's mine. I wouldn't start telling anyone what other people said about them. I would ask both DS and DIL/FOO to respect your position and to not put you in the middle by sharing the upsets and problems with you. You just want to be the caring, loving GM/Mom, right? Not a messenger for bad news, upsets, etc.
Besides, both parties are just venting, probably and you don't really need to pass that along, do you?
When you're DS, be the Mother. When you're with DIL/GK, be the GM.
Quote from: herbalescapes on May 17, 2012, 11:11:16 AM
Perhaps you are fulfilling the Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, the courage to change what I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
Adult children are adults so they do have the perogative to be as rude, thoughtless, self-absorbed as they want. We don't have to like it or approve of it or support it, but we do have to accept it. We raise our kids for the first decade and a half or two, then they get to call the shots on how they want to interact with their parents. Unfortunately it's really tough to let go and not get caught up in how it used to be or should be.
Good luck.
Quote from: Vasilisa on May 10, 2012, 08:32:59 AM
A fair few people here seem to be chalking up these family problems to being mothers of sons. What I want to know is, Why is being the mother of sons a problem? I genuinely want to know. It can't always be a problem -- my aunts are mothers of sons only and they are very, very involved with their sons and grandchildren, maybe even more than they want to be (one aunt has provided a lot of childcare for her grandchildren, the other has actually raised one of hers). One of my aunts in particular has always been loved by her sons' wives and girlfriends, even after they split up. Maybe I should ask her her secret in case I ever have a son!