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Problem Solving => Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws => Topic started by: Grechin on March 16, 2011, 01:07:26 PM

Title: Daughter in law
Post by: Grechin on March 16, 2011, 01:07:26 PM
I have 3 daughter in laws 2 are wonderful and 1 is a poop to be mild. She has been in the family for going on 21 years now and still likes to stir up trouble. Thank God most everyone has caught on to her now. Family gatering use to be like walking on egg schells because know one new when she would explode. She has a habit of turning around anything anybody says or does into a negative. The worse part she has my son believing every word she says. She has riped the shirt right off his back for little  things he has done. Hit him with things. Left marks on him. Then he say she really a good girl mom. His own son told us that she has knocked him down and he thought his mother was going to hurt his father. How do you deal with something like that. Some kind of crazy huh
Title: Re: Daughter in law
Post by: holliberri on March 16, 2011, 01:10:57 PM
Marks and bruises? Domestic violence. I believe that someone should direct them to a counselor.

If she's hitting your DS like that, I think she'd do the same to your GK. I would try to do an intervention with my son if I could, and try to get him help and resources to move away from her.
Title: Re: Daughter in law
Post by: LaurieS on March 16, 2011, 01:18:02 PM
It's possible that she is only lashing out at her dh.. but still I agree your son needs to speak to someone.... until he realizes that this is not love and working marriage I'm afraid that there isn't much you can really do.  Have the assaults been going on through the entire marriage?  Really sorry to hear this.. hope something you hear here will help.
Title: Re: Daughter in law
Post by: Pooh on March 16, 2011, 01:22:52 PM
So sorry to hear that Gretchin.  I hope he seeks some help as well.  It is much harder for a man to admit he is being abused by a woman.
Title: Re: Daughter in law
Post by: luise.volta on March 16, 2011, 02:38:00 PM
s there someone who can intervene? A pastor? A counselor? Intervention was suggested because it's the only way as far as I know. Sending love...
Title: Re: Daughter in law
Post by: lancaster lady on March 16, 2011, 03:01:58 PM
After 21 years , I doubt there is anything you can do .
It's their marriage , it's up to him to sort it .Different if she is hurting your GK . I would keep a close eye
on the them .
Title: Re: Daughter in law
Post by: overwhelmed123 on March 16, 2011, 03:43:11 PM
I am so sorry to hear this.  I hope your DS gets help soon.
Title: Re: Daughter in law
Post by: L on March 17, 2011, 12:40:47 PM
She sounds like a doosey!  I guess love really can be blind if DS said she is a "good girl" to you but GS says he is afraid of her anger issues.   Sorry for you having to deal with her...I can relate when you said about the "eggshells" and waiting for her next negative or anger outburst, etc., sounds exactly like my darling sister (and I say that very sarcastic).

There is nothing "good" about having your parents pass away, but I am glad I don't have to put up with my sister any more at family gatherings.  I always put up with my sister for my mother's sake as I wanted to spend holidays with my mom I loved her so much we were best friends and my sister was there of course at holidays.  She many times started verbal fights.  My mom and dad I love them, but they never corrected her bad behavior her whole life and so they enabled her.  Maybe your DIL never got put in her place either.  Bullies and verbally abusive people will continue to be just that when noone does anything to stop it.  I feel for you believe me.  Good luck.       
Title: Re: Daughter in law
Post by: misunderstood on March 30, 2011, 03:27:42 PM
Is there no support for male victims of domestic violence, a helpline or a support group, please try and help your son realise that there is help out there.  Not trying to push him out of his relationship but if and when he needs a safe place to escape to you will help him.

Its terrible, even if gk is not being hit the likelihood is he'll be around when his mother is attacking his father.