March 28, 2024, 06:27:21 PM

News:

"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


Show posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Topics - Freya

1
For as long as I can remember it has been difficult to communicate with her.  When I first met her I said "Hello.....I am looking forward to being your friend"  Her answer was "I don't need you for a friend".
 
This woman comes from a narcissistic and very closed family which I recognise because I had a narcissistic mother and borderline father.  But I worked hard at healing because I would not play the games.  Years of therapy have given me insight into this.   I have brought up two very fine boys, one of whom is her husband and a gentle soul.  They have been married around 15 years.  I am 70 years old.

Her parents will not let her go and she is practising the same with our grand daughters.  I have basically accepted this for peace's sake.

My DIL and I have had a couple of serious rifts, by her making mostly, but I have apologised for it even so for my son's sake.  This time she has found a criticism I made about her and her family to one of my friends as I vented in frustration at more passive-aggressive stuff from her that has hurt me so often.  I am totally guilty and have declared my horror at what I have done.   I have invited her to come and tell me her feelings about me and am sincerely prepared to cop all that I deserve for being careless.  I can only accept who she is  as best case, regardless.

Her approach is "silent treatment" - typical narcissistic behaviour and passive agrresssive of course so I am waiting..waiting..

Is there anything else I can do ?