This woman comes from a narcissistic and very closed family which I recognise because I had a narcissistic mother and borderline father. But I worked hard at healing because I would not play the games. Years of therapy have given me insight into this. I have brought up two very fine boys, one of whom is her husband and a gentle soul. They have been married around 15 years. I am 70 years old.
Her parents will not let her go and she is practising the same with our grand daughters. I have basically accepted this for peace's sake.
My DIL and I have had a couple of serious rifts, by her making mostly, but I have apologised for it even so for my son's sake. This time she has found a criticism I made about her and her family to one of my friends as I vented in frustration at more passive-aggressive stuff from her that has hurt me so often. I am totally guilty and have declared my horror at what I have done. I have invited her to come and tell me her feelings about me and am sincerely prepared to cop all that I deserve for being careless. I can only accept who she is as best case, regardless.
Her approach is "silent treatment" - typical narcissistic behaviour and passive agrresssive of course so I am waiting..waiting..
Is there anything else I can do ?