March 29, 2024, 06:59:29 AM

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"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


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Messages - mamacit4

1
Hello again, Dedicated!

I think you hit the nail on the head with your comment about venting here being the best avenue for dealing with those powerful hurt feelings.  I agree, trying to correct someone else's mischaracterizations face to face or by written word, almost never works. 

I'm still curious though about why our children do this.  Does it happen more with first children?  I know I get along with my YD much more easily than my OD, yet I know she cares about me and her dad.  On a good day, my philosopy is that the OD, after having sooooo much love and attention as first-born, just has to work harder and longer at becoming truly independent.  We taught her to think for herself, and from teen on, she's been an in-your-face arguer.  Of course, like us, she's learning as she goes, and she acts out as clumsily as the rest of us, which gets a response from me, and off we go again.  Sheesh.

I think I'll work on not taking the bait for my New Year's Resolution.  Anyone else with me?
2
Where do these things come from?  Dedicatedmom, I feel for you.  We just returned home from my ODs, and most of it wasn't any fun at all.  I adore my grandkids, but I am so tired of being told to my face that I beat my kids - Not.  Or that I locked them in closets when I was mad - Pure unadulterated fantasy.  I don't get it, and I'm sick of defending myself against false accusations.  But because of the grandkids I put up with it.  This time, anyway.  It definitely gets harder and harder.

Keep the faith sister.  Be honest and true to yourself.  I am so grateful for this forum and the support we can give each other.