WiseWomenUnite.com

Hi All. i am new to this group and like many of you, have lost contact with my son. He lived at home for nearly thirty two years. With some breaks of moving out to share a house with mates and a couple of years with a girl who ended up having an affair, so he left and came back here. We always got on well, we, meaning me, stepfather, who raised him from two years of age and my son, lived together in total harmony. Like many mothers say they really loved their sons and over indulged them. I didn't with material things as we had little money, but i adored him and he knew that. Eventually a common story, he met a girl twelve years younger and within two months she was pregnant. They lived here for awhile but the girl was so abusive towards me, that i asked my son to move out asap, as i couldn't stand they way she treated me. That was over six years ago and i wonder now if they both bore a grudge, from that long ago. Well this women treated me like dirt under her shoes the whole time.I put up with it for years, as i was terrified of losing my son and beautiful gd. Well after she had called me f.....g stupid in front of my son and sent me an abusive text i absolutely lost it, i was like a volcano that had been simmering away for years and finally erupted. I emailed my son at work and told him i wanted nothing to do with her, ever again and she had to stay away from my house. Well my son was so shocked by the way i talked about her and said he wanted me to meet and talk things out. I categorically refused. I knew what she was like and it would have been her final opportunity to stick the knife in further. My son said in that case i will not speak to you ever again. That was seven months ago. Their is so much more to this story, his gf has done everything she can to cause trouble in the family. My son has rejected his sister, all of his friends and blames me for absolutely everything that is wrong in his life. He has even phoned my d and told her things he has found out about me in the past, by talking to other family members, in particular his bio f, who has not had any contact with him for nearly thirty years. The thing i cannot understand is, why would a son want to have this muck dug up and find anything he can to discredit his mother, who he had always got on with and loved in the past. It is driving me crazy trying to make sense of that. I understand i made him choose between me and his gf. I knew he would defend her and cannot let me see my gd, because of what i have said about her mother. I still cant see how he has absolutely not one ounce of decency, to see that i would never have risked losing him and my gd, over his choice of partner, the abuse from her was horrific and relentless. Even more upsetting is to see how very few people reconcile successfully. It is seven months since we spoke and i thought things would change but they just seem to get worse. Has anyone got any ideas about how our children change so much towards us. I know many women who cannot get on with their dils, but their sons don't reject them because of it. Homely60