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Problem Solving => Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws => Topic started by: QuietStorm on September 11, 2011, 12:14:06 PM

Title: What would you do about your adult children fighting?
Post by: QuietStorm on September 11, 2011, 12:14:06 PM
In thinking about things that have gone on with DH's family we've found that when SIL and I are getting along the family dynamic is better.  When we're not she and MIL spend a lot of time fueling each other's anger.  DH and SIL are always squabbling - they act like kids.  SIL is the GC at this point and can do no wrong.  The two barely talk, they won't even say hello when they're in the same room.  I'm wondering with the Mom's here would do about that.  SIL is 25 and just recently moved back home.  DH and I are married almost 3 years now and have been together for 9.  I feel like it's a mother's job in a way to help them find their way back to each other...not that they always can, but I'm just curious what the women here think.
Title: Re: What would you do about your adult children fighting?
Post by: Doe on September 11, 2011, 12:50:35 PM
Well, Moms get a lot of flack for interfering too much in their adult children's lives.  We're sort of danged if we do, danged if we don't.

If you have the power to make things go better when you and SIL get along,  I'm sure your help would be much appreciated by everyone. 
Title: Re: What would you do about your adult children fighting?
Post by: QuietStorm on September 11, 2011, 01:17:35 PM
Well SIL is on an anti-Quietstorm kick...she's pretty much decided that I'm evil so that's not really going to work out right now.  But I at least keep it civil.
Title: Re: What would you do about your adult children fighting?
Post by: luise.volta on September 11, 2011, 01:33:52 PM
It's no ones business but theirs. They are adults. Stay out of it and treat them like adults by respecting their ability to work through it or not. My 2 cents.
Title: Re: What would you do about your adult children fighting?
Post by: Orly on September 11, 2011, 04:06:39 PM
Unless they are coming to blows...I'd stay out of it.  As to your SIL being on an anti-Quietstorm kick, treat her like you treat a stranger, polite interaction with no in-depth conversations.  Keep the carping about the hubby and family to your girlfriends.
Title: Re: What would you do about your adult children fighting?
Post by: pam1 on September 11, 2011, 04:24:53 PM
Unfortunately, it sounds like MIL is already interfering if SIL is considered the GC.  It may just be a very old pattern since childhood that your DH and SIL will have to work out on their own or not.



Title: Re: What would you do about your adult children fighting?
Post by: Sassy on September 12, 2011, 06:18:50 AM
It is not your MIL's job to make your married and grown DH and your 25 year old SIL try to get along.  It is entirely their job.  However, a requisite for people to get along is them both wanting to get along.
Title: Re: What would you do about your adult children fighting?
Post by: Pooh on September 18, 2011, 12:22:14 PM
I agree with the others.  It's on them, not you.  Be polite and civil, but if either try to drag you into it, tell them it is their problem to work out.