My son is in his late 20's. He has gotten 2 DUI's in his 20's and had to spend time in jail plus pay lawyer fees and fines. He has hardly talked to anyone in the family over the last few years. Today was the first phone conversation I had with him in a year and a half. Growing up he was always close to me because he father showed more attention to his older brother. Today he now blames me also for his problems. His father and I got divorced and every problem my ex and I had he ran to my son to tell (when we were living together). My older son was away at college. Now my younger son says some of his alcohol problems are my fault. Our conversation today has upset me so much. He really doesn't care about anyone except himself right now. He has lost most of his friends. I know not talking to him would be best for me but he is my son and I love him
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My experience of blame is that it's just a handy was to deny responsibility. It's about the blamer, not the blamee. The only other thought I have to offer is that none of us here, as far as I know, have stopped loving those we no longer talk to or with. They set the pace...but/and we can refuse abuse, both verbal and emotional. I got my self respect back when I figured that out. Hugs...
Welcome Brendini39. I echo what Luise said. I have found that those that are always blaming someone else for their problems are the same ones that will not take personal responsibility for their own actions.