We talk about how everyone has different perceptions of the same thing here all the time. I thought I would share with you guys what has been happening at my house the last couple of days....because it has become quite comical to me.
My DH and I both graduated the same year (different schools). So this year is both of our 25th reunions. He attended a private school so their graduating class is only around 75 people. So their school does a reunion weekend, where anyone that ever attended that school has big events to go to, and then each graduating class breaks off on Saturday night to have their own little event. Someone from his class created a FB page about 4 months ago and has been trying to contact everyone and organize their event. My DH has helped with it, getting the place for them and some other stuff. With him coming from a very small town, everyone was very close, and many have remained close over the years. But people have scattered. I have been really impressed with how many they got in contact with and are coming in. Last night, the count was at 53 of the 75. And they have all been having a good time on the FB page talking about old times.
So the organizer posts two days ago, "Anyone that has pictures from our school years, please post them or email them to me to post." So people started posting them...and having a good time looking back at their school years and how young and goofy they all look. So yesterday morning, I asked my DH (who loves pictures), "I know you have to have some because you love pictures and your Father was a photographer." He said he did have a bunch in a box in the closet. So he got them out and was going through them last night. He had this really small pile on the bed of maybe 10 pictures and then this really huge pile, turned upside down. I asked why those were turned over and he kind of just grinned at me and said, "Well...ummm...those have me with girlfriends and my Ex-wife in most of them." So I started laughing and said, "So?" He said, "I wasn't going to post any of those." I started laughing again and told him, "I promise. It does not bother me. You need to post them because they have many of your classmates in them. I know you were married for 17 years and that you guys were high school sweethearts. I know the story and I know she is part of your past. If we started going through mine, my Ex would be in most of mine too because we started dating in High School. Your classmates all know that you have remarried. I promise, it does not bother me....post them."
So he posted several of them last night before we went to bed. He picked the ones that had his Ex in them, but other people as well. Oh my gosh! This morning and all today, he has received numerous emails from the women in his class telling him that he better get those down before I see them. And that I would be soooo mad when I saw what he did....blah...blah...blah. Even a couple of guys have sent him emails telling him that their wives would kill them! He text me and told me what was going on and said, "Man...I'm catching crap over this. I don't know whether to put a big disclaimer on there saying my wife told me to, or take them down?" I started laughing and said "Don't do either one. Let's just keep watching!"
So part of me is finding amusement in the fact that so many people just automatically assumed I would be angry and didn't know about it. And then part of me is laughing that people would even think to send him emails telling him he shouldn't have done it. But then I realized how many women have commented on the situation, and I realized I guess I am in the minority of women that is not jealous of his past? And yes, it all has to do with how the situation is handled. I wouldn't want to walk in and find him with his Ex's pictures out and posted around the house, or on his FB just for him, etc. And the fact he wasn't going to do it until I talked him into it...Lol. And I guess it's because I am totally secure of our relationship. I am just finding is mostly immensely funny!
Very interesting. A lesson in "smallness" it seems to me. And a great compliment to you!
My ex and the woman he dumped me for are coming to my birthday party a week from tomorrow. I invited them. :)
We will be at the reunion together too Luise. Her new DH graduated with them as well and they are coming. And at least 15 of his classmates are on my page and have been for two years. They sent me invites after we got married, and I have a good time with them. Been to dinner and to several of their houses. I guess they think they are protecting me...but dang it's funny.
Part of my acceptance of my past was keeping photos of everyone in it. I can't change the past, and it did help shape who I am. I look back on all of that with appreciation now...and I have some fodder for our 10-year reunion. I can't believe everyone was upset about that...it had nothing to do with them! LOL.
Big ;D ;D ;Ds, HB. The longer you live the more complex your story (unless you choose to hide from life) and that's what it becomes...entertainment! ;)
Quote from: holliberri on March 04, 2011, 11:41:49 AM
Part of my acceptance of my past was keeping photos of everyone in it. I can't change the past, and it did help shape who I am. I look back on all of that with appreciation now...and I have some fodder for our 10-year reunion. I can't believe everyone was upset about that...it had nothing to do with them! LOL.
I know right! That part cracks me up because I don't know if they think they are protecting me, saving him...or just being dang nosey!
I have to admit, during my divorce as I was going through items, I really, really wanted to shred all my pics with my Ex. I wanted to make a burn pile out of my wedding photos. But I didn't because I kept thinking that some day, my sons might like to have them because we are their parents. And later, after I was done hurting, I was glad I didn't And like you said, I look back on them now as helping me become who I am today.
I like to look back at old photos because I really had a figure then.
Not me, I look anorexic and had so much eyeliner on, I look like a raccoon on meth.
Quote from: Laurie on March 04, 2011, 12:28:39 PM
I like to look back at old photos because I really had a figure then.
Truth. This 40 lbs of pre-pregnancy weight (yes, I said pre-pregnancy...must really be post-marriage weight) has me quite nostalgic of high school and boot camp!
Quote from: Pooh on March 04, 2011, 12:33:06 PM
Not me, I look anorexic and had so much eyeliner on, I look like a raccoon on meth.
Pooh I think that was the look we were striving for :)
Good for you for breaking the mold of the "insecure" woman. :) It would be hard for me to have done the same thing that you did. Of course, I think my H has already gotten rid of all the pictures of his ex, and I think that was long before I came around. Though I must say, had he had an ex who was a little bit nicer and wasn't a complete wench, I probably wouldn't care. Past is past. There's a reason you're his future! ;)
I'm so glad you're my adopted MIL, pooh! You're such a good role model!
Half of my life I was too slim and the other half I have been/am too fat. I wish I'd had my picture taken the day i crossed over!
A raccoon on meth? That's pretty graphic!
That's what I see when I look at those old photos of me Luise! I am so bony looking that I look sick, and my eyeliner was drawn all the way around my eyes and THICK.
Laurie is right...that was what we all did, but to look back now...it's the WHAT WERE WE THINKING!
Good Grief, I even have a picture of when I used to rat my hair.~~horrible. :-[
http://myparentswereawesome.tumblr.com/ (http://myparentswereawesome.tumblr.com/)
I know I've posted the link to "My Parents Were Awesome" before. It fits the thread, so I'm posting it again. Photos of cool parents from decades past. Whatever fashion faux pas we made, someone else did the more extreme version, I'm sure.
I love those photos, cracks me up every time. I am sure this generation will look back on pictures 30 years from now and go, "What the crap were we thinking?" Every time I see someone dressed in Goth, or all the piercings on their face, I can't help to think that someday they will look back and go, "OMG!"
This is too funny! DH and I had a similar conversation this weekend. He was looking through photos on FB that I had posted. I mean OLD albums from before I met him. I had gone in and deleted all the ones of me and my ex-bf when we broke up, but as a group we went on a camping trip. Well, he is still in some of those. DH saw them. I FELT SOOOOOOOOO BAD! He said he didn't care, but boy did I feel like a schmuck. "We" weren't in any of them, "He" just happened to be in them.
He knows the "ex" is long gone. At one of our "group" campouts, a friend and I burned the photos of our exes from the other trip! lol It was sooooo nice to do lol
Why would you feel badly about having a picture of someone that use to be in your life. Dh knew that you did not sit in your room your whole life waiting for his entrance (you didn't tell him you did, did you?). My not yet engaged future son-in-law asked about the pictures that I had of my dd with her old high school bf.. it's not like the guy was a butt head and they are still good friends even now.. But BF seriously/jokingly asked if I was going to keep them out.. I said sure every time I look at them I say.. wow but look at the tall masculine hunk she ended up with.. LOL he's ok with it now
DH never was allowed to date before he was 18. There are no photos of his high school experiences (dances, games, etc.). I would prefer a photo of him with some scuzzy ex as opposed to no photos of all. :D
Wow Holli really? So at the moment that he mentioned his, a little light didn't go off in your head saying.. parents are overly controlling.. parents are overly controlling?
Heh...nope. I thought he was just sheltered, but since I met him when he was living far away from them, I assumed he'd outgrown that.
He did date behind their back, but having to tiptoe around meant no photos of special occasions and quite often, special occasions had to be skipped altogether (no one really goes the prom without a date!).
I get the qualms parents have about high school dating, but I hope I get to meet the girlfriends/boyfriends my kids have and take all the silly photos of them in their gowns/tuxes and other fun things. I think my MIL/FIL missed out too.
So what was their problem with high school dating?
Sex and distraction from studies.
DH didn't have sex in high school (so I like to think this wouldn't have been more likely had he been allowed to date) and he was a D average student. He spent 3 out of 4 summers in summer school. I'm not sure distractiont would have hurt him, he was already completely not doing the work to begin with.
He graduated Summa Cum Laude from college btw. High school isn't everything.
There's no formula, right? We're all so unique. I was dating in grade school and neither of my older sisters even dated in high school. They were very serious students. I was, too. I was studying boys! 8)
I don't think there is a formula either. I was too busy playing sports to date but I can look back now and wish I had dated more. I didn't have much to compare too when I met ex-hubby. And I mean personality, responsibility, how they treated a female....not the other comparison ;)
Gotcha! ;)
I know we say it's "just high school" but my high school relationships gave me some good real life experiences. And, yes, the comparisons definitely helped me know a keeper when I found one!
I loved dating the little surfer boys .. but knew that this is not what I wanted to do my whole life.. would have been disappointing had I not dated in high school. High school was very much a part of who I became and how I conducted my life later on... glad I didn't miss it
Right, HB! On another thread is the story of my "reunion" with my high school sweetheart (he lives 2,500 miles away) and how he came here to spend Christmas with me. :D
Me, too. I loved dances and hay and sleigh rides, beach parties...and our young-people's group at church. I think a lot of who I am surfaced at that time.
Quote from: Pooh on March 04, 2011, 12:33:06 PM
Not me, I look anorexic and had so much eyeliner on, I look like a raccoon on meth.
Green tea hurts when it comes flying out my nose. ;D ;D ;D
Ouchie...sorry! ;D
I hope you captured that and posted it on you tube
I hope she wasn't in the middle of skyping someone....
Hahaha, no, but my office mate did get a laugh out of it.
Speaking of things, noses and YouTube, my son's friend took a video of my son snorting tabasco sauce up his nose at a fast food place and posted it. DS posted it on his FB, and I got to watch him deal with capsaicin-soaked sinuses (several times, because he kept pushing me to replay it over and over). It actually was pretty hilarious. The things you do when you're old enough to know better and young enough not to care...
I agree.. and all I can say is thank goodness we didn't have a way to post our antics online.. lol.. we didn't even have online.. dang we didn't have texting or cell phones either... omg I just realized that I had to physically roll down my car windows.. oh man I just realized that I know what a wing window is..
Hey Adil do you know what a wing window is.. and no cheating by goggling it .. shoot we didn't have google.
Who needs wing windows when the cars don't even come equipped with a cigarette lighter anymore?
;)
Of course, there is always matches.
I used to open my wing window in my old chevy when I was on the way home from work late at night...it helped me stay awake, but not freeze to death by putting the entire window down.
that car I test drove last week.. ok I wasn't really test driving it.. I was lying through my teeth to the salesman cause it was going to be my one and only chance to drive that car.. anyway (anywho for the other dil) I said oh what's this the ashtray... the salesman laughed he said no it's your ipod holder. So what if you do smoke.. not that i do but if they tell me I'm going to die next week, my first stop is for a pack of cigarettes
Aren't they fabulous? I think my step-son carries his Cadillac Esplanade over puddles! ;D ;D ;D