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"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


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Topics - Glenda

1
Grandchildren / Grandchild's letter.
May 22, 2012, 05:14:26 AM
Hi all.  This weekend my ds, dil, & gc came for a visit.  My oldest gs, he's 6, told me, in a moment alone, that he had written my dh & I a letter titled dear grandparents at school.  He brought it home & wanted to give it to us....but after talking with his Mom, our dil, they decided to give it to her Mom.  Gs said that they gave it to her because they don't see her as often.  I have to say I am hurt by this action.  Those little grandchildren things are such big things to a grandparent.  I told my gs not to worry about it, told him he could write us another letter.  It is obviously weighing on his mind if he felt the need to tell me.
Now a little background.  His other gm, & her boyfriend, live 5 minutes away from ds & dil, the same distance as us.  The reason they don't see Gramma as often is because she has a lot of problems.  She drinks too much, dresses like a teenager, makes promises she never keeps, & pulls huge, attention seeking stunts.  Gramma had a fire in her oven in her home, she blamed a poltergrist, there were knives sticking in her wall, she again blamed a poltergeist, even going so far as to have a priest come & bless their house.  There is never anyone else around when these "poltergeist" activities happen.  My dil doesn't believe for a minute there is a poltergeist, she told me that herself, she believes her Mom did it.
So...why does my dil reward this behaviour with the special little things from gc?   My dh & I are the ones that are always there for them, & these little things our dil does really hurt.  I am the full time caregiver of my gc so to know dil took something that was meant for us, & gave it to her Mom, well.....that's unbelievable, & I feel gs was confused by his Mom doing this, or he wouldn't have mentioned it to me.
Should I just let this go as I do a million other things, or should I talk to my ds about it?  This one really hurt!!
2
Grab Bag / Sad news.
December 06, 2011, 05:55:28 AM
Have had a very hard week.  My Dad passed away last tuesday.  He has been sick this last year,and we had recently put him in a home.  He suffered a major stroke on Sunday, & was gone early Tuesday morning.  Now that the wakes & funeral are over, & we are not busy, it has really set in that I will not hear his voice again, he will not ring my doorbell when he is out for a drive & decides to pop in.  Watching my Dad go was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life.  We, (my Mom, siblings, & I), were all with him. 
For the last year my Dad had told my Mom & I, "I'm not going to be here for Chritmas, you know".  Somehow he knew he was going.  The last two weeks leading up to this stroke, he had been sick, throwing up, feverish, he was cranky & stubborn, & oh so lovable.  I visited him in the morning, the day he had his stroke, & he gave me this big, long, silent, look.  Now thinking about that look, I know he was trying to tell me he was leaving.  I wish I could bring him back, I wish I could stop these tears that forever fall from my eyes. I wish, when I say I love you Dad, I could hear him say, just one more time, "I love you more!!".
3
Grandchildren / Babysitting full time.
November 18, 2011, 06:47:41 AM
I am a gm who babysits gc full time, while parents work.  One works shifts, (days, afternoons, weekends), the other days, Monday to Friday.  I don't charge anything cause the parents cannot afford daycare, but do need to work to pay their morgage, & their bills.
If you were the full time caregiver, going into their home, would you want to take your gc out during the day?  Not far, like the local grocery store, donut shop, (they have healthy alternatives to donuts), park, etc, if they were within a 5 min walk from their house?  (I walk them to & from school, which is further away then the above mentioned places).  Am I being unreasonable for wanting to do this?
4
Grab Bag / Changed my screen name.
November 17, 2011, 06:56:20 AM
Hi all, just wanted to let every one know that I changed my screen name from "I am a mil and a dil",  to Glenda, cause I just can't remember all that.  lol