My father died nearly 20 years ago and I didn't mourn him either. He actively disliked me and I was the frequent recipient of beatings.
I met my husband after my father died, and after my mother developed dementia. I drew a line uder that period and wove a fantasy for him (and others) of what my life was like with them, probably due to the abusive marriage I'd just escaped and the fact that I didn't want to be the pathetic person that nobody had ever cared for. It seemed harmless at the time, but now I can't express my mixed feelings about it all to anyone because they all think I'm grieving for my mother.
I don't know what to feel. I'm actually quite depressed. I'm thinking of getting counselling, but I dread opening the can of worms that was my childhood.
Any advice gratefully received.