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Hello all,
I'm a long time lurker of this forum. It has helped me a lot in my on-going relationship struggles with my MIL. Currently, for the past several years in fact, we have had a good relationship, to the point I call her more then my DH does! (she lives across the country).
My DH and I are very newly pregneant. So new in fact, we haven't told anyone yet.
For the last year or so that we've been trying, we've spoken about how to handle visitations during/after the birth of the baby.
I love my IL's. However, close quarters with them is always a bad idea. MIL is as strong a personality as I am, and we are two very different people, with different values and ways.
We are in the two year long process of our new home being built (part of new development). In the meantime, we live in a 1200 sqf two bedroom condo. So this will be our babies first home.
I have a large family. Lots of older siblings. My own mother has passed away, but I am very close with my father, my aunt and uncle who all live nearby. We see my side maybe once a month at some kind of get together.
I don't want a huge crowd in the hospital wait room. Maybe my dad and my sisters, my best friend. People I won't stress about being out there. That's what will make me feel comfortable that day. After the baby is brought home, my DH has two weeks off work (I will be at the least takign a year off of work to stay home) of parental leave, and I'd like us to be left alone as much as possible during this time.
So. The pink elephant in the room. When do we ask the In-laws to come? I will assume they will want to come. They are loving people and I'm married to the oldest, and proverbial goldan boy, son. My SIL has a baby that MIL sits for almost daily. So I'm thinking they may not jump at the chance to come. DH thinks there is no doubt they will though.
I don't want house guests in our little condo when I'm a new mom. IL's have come here three times in two years since we've been here and always stay with us - we wouldn't ask them to stay at a hotel. However, I don't want house guests. And as I said, MIL and I under the same roof is a bad, bad idea.
I thought one to two months after the baby is born would be a good time. Is this reasonable? How would you (to all the general MIL's here!) feel if your DIL explained the above reasons (and we have an honest, frank relationship, but very caring also) and asked that you not come for a month or two?
Very open to opinions and suggestions. Thank you!
I'm a long time lurker of this forum. It has helped me a lot in my on-going relationship struggles with my MIL. Currently, for the past several years in fact, we have had a good relationship, to the point I call her more then my DH does! (she lives across the country).
My DH and I are very newly pregneant. So new in fact, we haven't told anyone yet.
For the last year or so that we've been trying, we've spoken about how to handle visitations during/after the birth of the baby.
I love my IL's. However, close quarters with them is always a bad idea. MIL is as strong a personality as I am, and we are two very different people, with different values and ways.
We are in the two year long process of our new home being built (part of new development). In the meantime, we live in a 1200 sqf two bedroom condo. So this will be our babies first home.
I have a large family. Lots of older siblings. My own mother has passed away, but I am very close with my father, my aunt and uncle who all live nearby. We see my side maybe once a month at some kind of get together.
I don't want a huge crowd in the hospital wait room. Maybe my dad and my sisters, my best friend. People I won't stress about being out there. That's what will make me feel comfortable that day. After the baby is brought home, my DH has two weeks off work (I will be at the least takign a year off of work to stay home) of parental leave, and I'd like us to be left alone as much as possible during this time.
So. The pink elephant in the room. When do we ask the In-laws to come? I will assume they will want to come. They are loving people and I'm married to the oldest, and proverbial goldan boy, son. My SIL has a baby that MIL sits for almost daily. So I'm thinking they may not jump at the chance to come. DH thinks there is no doubt they will though.
I don't want house guests in our little condo when I'm a new mom. IL's have come here three times in two years since we've been here and always stay with us - we wouldn't ask them to stay at a hotel. However, I don't want house guests. And as I said, MIL and I under the same roof is a bad, bad idea.
I thought one to two months after the baby is born would be a good time. Is this reasonable? How would you (to all the general MIL's here!) feel if your DIL explained the above reasons (and we have an honest, frank relationship, but very caring also) and asked that you not come for a month or two?
Very open to opinions and suggestions. Thank you!