WiseWomenUnite.com

General Category => Grab Bag => Topic started by: luise.volta on June 20, 2011, 07:34:23 PM

Title: Anniversary of My Son's Death
Post by: luise.volta on June 20, 2011, 07:34:23 PM
The 20Th of June is a hard day for me. My eldest son died eleven years ago...6-20-2000. I have been able to move on but I have never "gotten over it." I honestly don't think anyone who has lost a child fully recovers. He would have been 63 this October. I know there's nothing anyone can say or do, I just wanted to share where I am and how I feel.
Title: Re: Anniversary of My Son's Death
Post by: Rose799 on June 20, 2011, 08:22:40 PM
I'm so very sorry, Luise.  Any time you feel up for talking, we're here for you - always,

(((((hugs)))))   
Title: Re: Anniversary of My Son's Death
Post by: luise.volta on June 20, 2011, 08:33:04 PM
Thank you. I just felt I wanted to acknowledge what's going on with me.
Title: Re: Anniversary of My Son's Death
Post by: Rose799 on June 20, 2011, 08:49:27 PM
I'm glad you shared, Luise.  You've gone through a lot; more than one person should have to.  He understands you now, all you've wanted to convey over the years.  I have no doubt you were an excellent mother to both your boys, Luise.  Lord knows you've been a darn good surregate   
Title: Re: Anniversary of My Son's Death
Post by: Rose799 on June 20, 2011, 08:50:40 PM
I wasn't finished...  I was looking up how to spell surrogate & hit the post button by accident.  I was saying, you've made a darn good surrogate mother for us! 
Title: Re: Anniversary of My Son's Death
Post by: Pen on June 20, 2011, 10:00:45 PM
{{{hugs}}}
Title: Re: Anniversary of My Son's Death
Post by: Nana on June 20, 2011, 10:28:28 PM
Oh Luise... it must be a sad day indeed.  But you are here with us giving us strength, love, compassion, advice.   Only to tell you that I Love you.

Love
Title: Re: Anniversary of My Son's Death
Post by: cadagi101 on June 20, 2011, 11:00:14 PM
Thinking of you Luise
xx
Title: Re: Anniversary of My Son's Death
Post by: Pooh on June 21, 2011, 05:36:53 AM
Thinking of you and sending huge {{{HUGS}}}.
Title: Re: Anniversary of My Son's Death
Post by: luise.volta on June 21, 2011, 06:44:54 AM
Thanks everyone. All of the above is why I posted, I suppose. When we feel alone and reach out it can be so reassuring.

Today, is the first day of summer and is symbolic of the fullness of life. Every year that cheers me up.  :)
Title: Re: Anniversary of My Son's Death
Post by: FAFE on June 21, 2011, 06:53:03 AM
Here's a big ole hug from GA. 
Title: Re: Anniversary of My Son's Death
Post by: elsieshaye on June 21, 2011, 10:38:35 AM
Sending you love, Luise. 
Title: Re: Anniversary of My Son's Death
Post by: jill on June 21, 2011, 01:38:29 PM
Hi Luise,
Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you at this sad time, and thank you so much for all you do.............Jill
Title: Re: Anniversary of My Son's Death
Post by: Sassy on June 21, 2011, 02:15:42 PM
I am very sorry for your loss.  You are a wonderful woman.  One of the ways you've handled the loss, by directing energies to helping others with challenges with their families, is something I deeply admire about you. 
Title: Re: Anniversary of My Son's Death
Post by: pam1 on June 23, 2011, 12:47:13 PM
I agree with Sassy.  You're in my thoughts Luise.
Title: Re: Anniversary of My Son's Death
Post by: lancaster lady on June 23, 2011, 01:44:40 PM
Luise:

Sending hugs to hold you tight , to keep you warm throughout the night .
Don't be sad , and don't be blue ,
'Cos you're in my thoughts the whole night through ....... :)
Title: Re: Anniversary of My Son's Death
Post by: Star on June 29, 2011, 12:38:04 PM
Hi Luise,

I am a newbie, and have just seen your post about your son, that must be so difficult, sending you big hugs.
Title: Re: Anniversary of My Son's Death
Post by: Ruth on June 29, 2011, 01:16:40 PM
I have only just found this post, Luise.  I know little or nothing about the history of this website, and the names are only just now becoming familiar to me, but every time I see your face it lights up my life.  You are a pillar of strength and hope to many people who get even just that sentence of encouragement and wisdom that only you can so uniquely provide.   Some hurts won't be healed in this lifetime Luise.   That we may finish out our days here walking with a limp, or with a blot on the soul - maybe we think it is a blot on what should have been an otherwise perfect portrait, but I think its just the old weavers story, you know looking at the back of the tapestry rather than the front.  Losing a child through death or estrangement is not a wound that recovers.  There is nothing natural about it and therefore no way to come to perfect terms of peace with it.    I believe my inability to come to terms with this kept me debilitated with depression for so many years, as I have gotten older and hopefully a little wiser, I am finally willing to live alongside my hurts and disappointments.  If I can learn to tolerate the eruption of feelings of sadness on a less and less frequent basis, I feel I am winning.  The load is lighter when other like wounded souls bare their own wounds in an effort to help me come to terms with mine.  My faith now in the absolute love and goodness of God also sustains me, and during those times of deepest sadness I curiously feel the oddest sense of comfort.  Thank you for giving so much of yourself and being willing to put yourself on the line, even to the point of sharing your photograph.  I will say a prayer for you. 
Title: Re: Anniversary of My Son's Death
Post by: luise.volta on June 29, 2011, 01:28:58 PM


Ruth - Thank you. I am the owner of this site and therefore have never felt the need to be anonymous. My son Kirk is the Webmaster. It's a joint venture. :D

You are doing a great job of having it be how it is and getting that you still have choices. Sending love...